What could they do to me?

[Ira]

Every Christmas, my office of like 25 women (most ugly or fat) and 5 men (I'm straight so I don't know if they're ugly) have a pot luck lunch.

The men actually put effort into PREPARING something decent, but most of the women just bring crackers and cheese, bean sprout manure and other salads, or they buy desserts or some other crap at the supermarket. But they hardly ever MAKE anything.

After 5 years, this kind of thing starts to piss you off a little, you know? Like, why should I even bother?

Well, this year, when we got the email about the date of it, I emailed back to everyone saying I would once again be bringing a meat dish. (I did beef ribs for two years, skirt steak wrapped in bacon for another, that kind of thing.)

Except this year, I think I'm bringing two dishes:

Grilled chicken hearts that I'll reheat in my portable camping oven right outside the office.

And Rocky Mountain Oysters (Bull's testicles)...but lie to all of them and tell them it's something else.

I KNOW they won't touch the chicken hearts, so I'll just say, "Why don't you have a few of my fried mini-meatballs instead?"

Can they throw me in jail for this?

By the way--I don't care if they hate ME or fire me for it. I'll just tell them after they finish eating:

"Well, they ARE meat BALLS, and I didn't have a good recipe for crackers and cheese!"

[rbeemer]

Ira,

Be nice and go to the local butcher and get some head cheese - It may not be Kosher but do you really care

[Ira]

Rick, that was the THIRD thing I was thinking of bringing!!! The fourth was tongue.

I'm definitely bringing the hearts and testicles--but I'll probably let everyone know what it is beforehand. (I think. We'll see how next week goes.)

At the very least, it will make everyone sick watching ME eat it.

[NightCap]

Keep us posted for sure! But you should do something like goose liver for their crackers. hehe

[coreyjhen]

No, they can't throw you in jail for it, but they really don't taste bad anyhow (although I can't say I've ever eaten them sober). You could also bring menudo or some other equally disgusting tripe dish.

[Et Cetera]

Do it. It'll serve those fat uglies right for not putting effort into their dishes!

[Laredo]

Ira,
You got a wally world nearby, right?
Pick up a couple packages of the frozen meatballs there (family size) and put 'em in a crock pot (don't get the fancy-spiced meatballs, plain is fine for this).

Pick up one of those handle-mug jars of cheap plum jam, and a little squeeze bottle of ketchup (I like Heinz).

Take the lid off the jam and stick it in the microwave for, like, a minute (you want it melty, not boiling over). Pour it in over the meatballs. Take the lid off the ketchup. Pour it over the meatballs too. Stir everything together and run the crockpot on high for 30 minutes then turn it down to simmer until lunchtime.

Lots less trouble than the deliberate route, and they'll think you killed yourself. You'll be out, I dunno, $6 or $8 and a crockpot wash.

Or you could Emerilize a loaf of (chicken, if you're feeling really vicious) bologna: Mix a bottle of Creole mustard with 1/2 cup of beer, a tablespoon of minced garlic and a 1/4 cup brown sugar. Strip the casing off the baloney, slash it diagonally at 1/2 inch intervals about 1/2-way through, paint it with the sauce, and bake it in a 350 F oven for an hour to an hour and a half.

[bledsoe3]

I don't care if they eat or not, but I want pictures of their face when you tell them what it is.

[Miriam C.]

Turkey fries are so much better and bite size. They might like them on a salad or with ranch dressing

[surveytech]

why not make meatballs and tell them afterwards they are rocky mountain oysters?

[asianflava]

why not make meatballs and tell them afterwards they are rocky mountain oysters?

Probably wouldn't be as fun. Meatballs would be easier to find though.

[sdtripper2]

The Bull ball vs Meatball controversy goes on


What do the Rocky Mountain Oysters (Bull's testicles) go for a pound anyway:thinking:

It seems that your disgusted with the attitude of the people you work with

Why not do the meatball and crock pot thing (idea) with either the recipe above
plain BBQ sauce or the cranberry recipe else where on the forum

As stated the cost is right the labor is right and your not playing with bull balls.

You can buy beer at your pub with the money you save and shoot the bull
with your bar mates who you most likely enjoy company with more than the
work people you would spend money on for bull balls.

[Joseph]

No, they can't throw you in jail for it...

Maybe not, but I'll bet they could file suit for "creating a hostile work environment."

Might be worth it though. With the crap they bring in you could probably file a counter-suit...

Joseph

[Ira]

I'm gonna do some of Laredo's meatballs, plus the balls and chicken hearts. And I'll tell them what the balls are.

But they can't have any meatballs until they eat a bullball and a heart.

Steve, I have no idea how much they cost--I never made them. I figured I would experiment. There's a big store here called Penn Dutch that I'm sure has them.

[Joseph]

Cool new avatar, Ira!

Joseph