Humor of the Day

[Steve_Cox]

Actually Steve, sometimes I'm a bit dense... My wife explained it (in her patient way) and actually it was funny... that much build up for a pun...

Wright -
I was jokin about the frontal lobe damage...

Steve

[Laredo]

Hmm. properly, I should've asked if 'twere an angora tale, I suppose....

[TonyCooper]

Thanksgiving Holiday Humor
"Happy Thanksgiving"

Divorcing ater 45 Years an old man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, But I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough."

"Pop, what are you talking about," the son screams. "We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man said. "We're sick and tired of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her." And he hangs up.

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone, "Like heck they're getting a divorce," she shouts. "I'll take care of this."

She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting divorced! Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then don't do
a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" And she hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "They're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way."

[PaulC]

Subject: Too Smart for 1st Grade
First-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her
students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what is your problem?" Harry
answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd
grade and I'msmarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd
grade too!"

Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's
office.
While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the
principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he
would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his
questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and
he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry: "9"
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Harry: "36"
And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd
grader should know. The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her,
"I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade."

Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions."
The principal and Harry both agreed. Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a
cow have four of that I have only two of?" Harry, after a moment:
"Legs."
Ms. Brooks: "What do you have in your pants that I do not have in
mine?"
The principal wondered, why does she ask such a question?
Harry replied: "Pockets."
Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Harry: "Pants"
Ms. Brooks: What's starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy,
Harry: "Coconut"
Ms. Brooks: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and
sticky?
The principal's eyes open wide and before he could stop him Harry
answered:
Harry: "Bubble gum"
Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sittingdown and a dog does on three legs?"
The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop him
Harry answered:"Shake hands"
Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means
a lot of heat and excitement?"
Harry: "Firetruck"
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put
Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong.
---------------------------------------------------------

[gman]

Wedding Anniversary

A husband was in big trouble when he forgot his wedding anniversary. His
wife told him, "Tomorrow there better be something in the driveway for me
that goes zero to 200 in two seconds flat."


The next morning the wife found a small package in the driveway. She opened
it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Funeral arrangements for the husband have been set for this Saturday.

[Boodro]

How about a new way to Go ! Mabye PC users will like it, maybe not!

[BufordT]

This one's really funny.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid ... 6209696724

Bufordt

[Chris C]

Buford, your link doesn't work.

[BufordT]

Yep your correct Chris. don't know what happened. It worked for a while.

Maybe later on it will work again.

Bufordt

[GeorgeTelford]

Hi all

Your link works fine (still) Do democrats find it funny too? Bob Hopes comic delivery is perfect, aint it

[BufordT]

George Don't say stuff like that. Mad Jack will pull the plug.

Bufordt

[madjack]

George Don't say stuff like that. Mad Jack will pull the plug.

Bufordt

...not unless a fight breaks out...however Bob is certainly dating himself...nowadays the last line aptly applies to the Republicans, blindly playing at follow the leader as well...
madjack(a libertarian)

[GeorgeTelford]

Heh its Bob Hope, he's the man, I figure its funny just from his delivery alone.

[Arne]

Two fellows from the hills were watching a dog licking himself.... One said, "I shure wish I could do that..."

The other replied, "I think that dog would bite you.."

[subtearanean]

Two fellows from the hills were watching a dog licking himself.... One said, "I sure wish I could do that..."

The other replied, "Maybe if you pat him first............"