New Virus... c-nile

[mikeschn]

There's a new virus going around. It is called C-Nile.
Even the most advanced programs from Norton or McAfee cannot take care of it so be warned.
It appears to affect mostly those who were born before 1960.

Symptoms of C-Nile Virus:
1. Causes you to send the same e-mail twice
2. Causes you to send a blank e-mail
3. Causes you to send it to the wrong person
4. Causes you to send it back to the person who sent it to you
5. Causes you to forget to attach the attachment
6. Causes you to hit "SEND" before you've finished the

[BrianB]

And if you don't think you're infected, then you must have the D-Nile virus.

[campadk]

And if you don't think you're infected, then you must have the D-Nile virus.

ha ha! Excellent come back

[angib]

5. Causes you to forget to attach the attachment

When I first changed to Eudora for email, the little advertising panel offered a paid upgrade that searched outgoing emails for the words 'attachment', 'attached', 'enclosed', etc and if it found them in an email that didn't have at least one attachment, it stopped the email from being sent until you confirmed it was OK. It was maybe $9.99. Why did I laugh at something so patently stupid? Why didn't I buy it?

The word 'attachment' is a corruption of its orginal spelling 'attachmeant', which derived from 'meant to attach'....

Andrew the C-Nile

[TomS]

There's a new virus going around. It is called C-Nile.
Even the most advanced programs from Norton or McAfee cannot take care of it so be warned.

It appears to affect mostly those who were born before 1960.

I believe this virus has spread from my computer to my workshop. Here are some symptoms that I observed with appologies to Dave Letterman.

10. A board that I carefully measured, marked and cut at precisely 59 1/4 inches long instantly shrank to precisely 58 1/4 inches on the short trip from the saw to the bench.

9. A cabin cabinet frame that I carefully built to the my trailer's inside dimension of 57 1/2 inches wide grew overnight to the galley cabninet width of 59 1/4 inches.

8. I found my self making frequent trips to Lowes for screws and other small items that I could've sworn that I had left over from other projects.

7. I find myself trying to sink screws into pocket holes that already have screws in them. "Strange, "I don't remember driving that screw."

6. "Where the Hell did I put that tape measure? I used it just one minute ago. Oh, here it is clipped to my belt."

5. "Honey, have you seen my goggles? Whaddya mean I'm wearing them? Oh, I guess I am. Sorry, never mind. Thanks anyway"

4. My son, a vocational H.S. student majoring in carpentry, comes running into the basement in stark terror whenever he hears the table saw running.

3. I replaced a jig saw, that I threw out last year because it was broken. Two weeks later said saw suddenly reappeared in the bottom drawer of my tool chest in perfect working order.

2. I cut my finger on a razor blade while trying to fashion a jig. On the way to see the doctor, I realized that I didn't need the jig. A combination square and a pencil would've accomplished the same thing with a lot less blood.

And the number one symptom of C-Nile infestation in my workshop....

1. I'm obsessed with the idea of building a camping trailer that is about the size of a shoe box.

[gardenwood]

We've moved beyond the D-nial phase and are fully into C-nial.

The kids tell us they missed an attachment on a recent email.... They were waiting for the second email with the OOOOps message.

The 10 characteristics of C-nial in the shop sounded just like our shop. We look like the Tool Center at HD or Lowes.... and usually have wood pieces that have shrunken or grown in the most surprising manner. We have BOXES of nails, screws and other "fasteners" but never have what we need for a given project. Someday we'll design a project just to use up left overs..........

Unfortunately I don't think we have enough clamps to do the teardrop.

Roger and Lois

[Woody]

You forgot a couple

Now where did I put that pencil?

I cut this board three times and it is still to short!

Oh yeah it suppose to be this way, not that way, Darn it?

Now where did I put that? I just had it in my hands.

Honey, did we pay our medical insurance this month? Because I need a ride to the emergency room again

Man, now I remember what it was I went to Home Depot for? I'll be right back! I got everthing else but what I originally went there for!