Teardrop Fiction

Things that don't fit anywhere else...

Postby jan4peace » Sat May 14, 2011 5:27 pm

:applause:
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Postby atahoekid » Sat May 21, 2011 1:15 am

Tex it was glad to read another great story of your Texas childhood. I didn't get introduced to chewing tobacco till much much later in my life than yours and it was via an indirect method, yet still convinced me that I would forever remain a chewing tobacco virgin.

I worked in a restaurant that offered weekend entertainment and we had a couple of bigger guys work the door, one of whom chewed and spit into now empty budweiser bottles. I had become good friends with Larry and introduced another of my friends to him. Late in the evening, my friend Wade, who probably drained too many bottles of Budweiser that night, decided to help himself to a swig of Larry's "beer". Well, we tried to stop him but were too late and Wade promptly gacked all over the floor.

That episode made me realize I probably don't want to try chewing tobacco. You sir, are a much bigger man than I am for being "devirginized" at such a young age.
Mel

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My husband's identical twin wrote this:

Postby queeniejeanne » Tue Jun 07, 2011 9:01 am

My mom and dad took us three kids on family camp outs fifty years ago at Greenleaf State Park. It’s been our family camping ground all these years. I’m 65 now, retired with a disabled wife. My wife and I were avid campers until she became disabled about 10 years ago. Recently we felt like we really missed camping so we invested in new, up to date camping equipment and decided to give it another try.



Off we went to Greenleaf State Park on Friday, June 3, 2011, unloaded our new gear at our favorite camp site of many years. Although it was 94 degrees we figured when we got our new tent up the hard part was over, we could sit under a shade tree for the rest of the day.



Toward the evening we ventured to the new handicap rest rooms and showers in order to take a shower and cool off for the night. We discovered the showers were pay, which is no problem, we agree with pay showers, only problem was not knowing they were pay, not by anyone’s fault you understand, we just didn’t have any quarters. We had dollars, low and behold we found a dollar changer on the outside. We went back to camp, gathered up some dollar bills, ventured back to the showers only to discover the dollar bill changer didn’t work. We flagged down a ranger and was told they don’t carry money, even though they’re collecting money from campers fees during that time. Maybe they just had bills, I don’t know.



So after some running around and asking people for change we finally have gathered enough quarters for each of us to take a shower. Did I mention we were old and fat? I go into the first shower stall, nice and clean it was with plenty of light and such. I get undressed, put all my clothes on the little bench cause for some reason there’s no clothes hooks on the wall. I waddle over the shower stall itself, drop a few quarters on the way and of course they roll under the shower bench and I’m forced to get on my hands and knees to recover my precious quarter that I’ve spent the afternoon manufacturing. It has, of course, rolled as far as geographically possible to reach, and found its way to the only little slimy puddle in the entire room.



By this time it seems the temperature in the shower room has risen to 120 degrees and I’m sweating profusely and in my mind I’m saying, just get the quarter in the slot and stand under the cool water. So I shove my quarter in the slot and low and behold there’s bent quarter already in the slot and it won’t come out and won’t go in. So, cursing by now, I decide to venture to the next shower stall which requires me to get dressed so I can go out the door and into the next one. Now remember I said I was old, fat and sweating and there are no bars or hooks on the wall to hang on to so as I’m trying to put on my underwear which gets tangled in my legs and I fall on my butt. I decide to just put on my pants and waddle over to the next stall. Once again I have no place to hang my clothes so I put my clean clothes on the only bench and my dirty clothes on the clean floor by the door. I insert my quarters and walah, I get a shower. Now I walk over to my clean clothes and have discovered all of the shower water has accumulated toward the door and my shoes and dirty clothes are now sitting in 2 inches of water.



It has become so hot in the shower room by now that I can’t towel dry fast enough before I’m wet again. I’m so hot and sweaty I can’t get my clothes on, I’m feeling as though I’m about to pass out from the heat so I put on my shorts and get the door open enough to stick my head out and get a breath of air before I go back in and gather up my wet shoes and dirty clothes that weight 30 pounds now after they have sucked up all the contents of the floor water.



I really have never had such a terrible shower experience in my life. Everything else at the park was great. The staff was very helpful and courteous.



My question is; is there a building code or law against having a clothes hook on a wall in a state park? And why must all water run away from floor drains? I don’t understand.
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Postby queeniejeanne » Tue Jun 07, 2011 9:05 am

And how many of us can raise our hands in unison that we too have had this experience if not worse...but from Dennis' twin brother, who just got back into camping, it is not a good thing..but thought is so funny I have read and re read the letter to the state of Oklahoma....He did get a reply to that they would put hooks in the bath houses this week....Queenie Jeanne :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Postby Ratkity » Tue Jun 07, 2011 9:13 am

:applause: :applause: :applause:

There are certain laws of nature, camping and cycling (along with any other pleasurable sport) that pertain here.

Nature - it will rain as soon as you hang your towels up to dry, or a bird will poop on said towels and bathing suits.

Cycling - going downhill is great, but remember there is always an uphill for every downhill.

Camping - Showers always include some sort of voyeur insect watching you, the shower hooks are broken or non-existent, the spray from the water shoots directly at clean clothes (some sort of physics where clean attracts water), water puddles under shoes and socks, etc.

Hugs,
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Postby Cliffmeister2000 » Tue Jun 07, 2011 9:48 am

Ratkity wrote:Cycling - going downhill is great, but remember there is always an uphill for every downhill.


Two things I learned while cycling:

1. A downhill is God's reward for an uphill.
2. If you start and stop your ride in the same place, no matter how long the ride, your net elevation change is zip.
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Postby Tumbleweed_Tex » Tue Jul 26, 2011 1:39 pm

Youthful Magic

There is a time in each of our lives which can truly be defined as magical. Unfortunately, this magic follows no rules whatsoever as to when it occurs, nor does it hang around for any specific duration. Almost without exception, however, life’s magical moments seem to take place only in past tense form, being unrecognizable as anything special while they are actually happening. For me, the magic occurred between the spring and fall of my seventh or eighth year as a miniature cowboy.

In my tiny town, on one corner of the main (and only) intersection, stood Anderson’s General Store. The structure was an antique in itself, from its painted barn-tin roof to its original hardwood porch and floors, polished to a high gloss between the rows of merchandise by uncountable pairs of leather boot soles. Predictably, this ancient establishment was owned, operated, and lived in by Mr. and Mrs. Anderson, both of whom had to be in their hundred and thirties or forties, and pretty much deaf and blind.

In the mid-1960s, a kid was basically a ghost until he was about ten, at which time he was tall enough to comfortably put his elbows on the table at suppertime and “manâ€
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Postby Ratkity » Tue Jul 26, 2011 5:37 pm

:lol:

:applause: :applause: :applause:

:thumbsup:

Wuz wondering when little Tex was gonna come out of hiding to tell stories!

Hugs,
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Postby Synthesis » Wed Jul 27, 2011 3:51 pm

Tex, this is my first post in this thread...

I need to say the following:

You are an artist, and a master of your craft.
I started reading this thread at 9:30AM, it is now 3:45, and I have only read your posts so far (I plan to go back and catch up on the many other talented individuals in here.)
I got talked to by a co-worker for laughing and giggling loudly at work..
Your stories are engrossing. I couldn't stop reading!

I know you have been asked about this before, about putting your stories into a book. You CAN do this, exactly as you have them typed here and publish it on Amazon, eBook format, etc.. It is easier than you could ever imagine. :)

Please PLEASE make a book. I would be the first in line to buy a copy or three.

Edit: I grew up in TX and Florida, I know all about the Cowboy Way of Life (The title for your new book)... I LOVED these stories.
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Postby Tumbleweed_Tex » Wed Jul 27, 2011 4:38 pm

Thank you sincerely. Honestly, I didn't know that option even existed.

The text I've got, and I can always get Dog to explain the technology stuff to me. What I'm seriously lacking is the know-how to MARKET the thing. You can't sell something if no one knows it exists.

Leaving on Saturday for a week-long camping adventure. Now I'll have something to think about.
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Postby TheresaD » Wed Jul 27, 2011 10:05 pm

:applause: :applause: Yay! Glad to see you again Tex! You must have been reading my mind last night. I was going to post a request for some summer reading but I decided to wait a little while. I didn't want to badger you. Glad you got my psychic vibes!!! It's so much fun reading your stories... Just wonderin' though.... how's things with Ms. Renee??? ;)
All The Best,

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Postby Tumbleweed_Tex » Thu Jul 28, 2011 7:00 am

Renee?

Oh…Renee. She’s been seein’ that banker nerd again…the one with the red sports car and the shiny gurly shoes. Dog sees her more than I do these days. It’s a big game for him…growl at Oscar when he drives up, and after Renee hurries him inside, Dog pays a brief visit to all four of his tires.

Oscar wants Renee to expand the campground down towards the creek…take out all those huge oak trees and build a dam to create about 20 “water-frontâ€
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Postby Synthesis » Thu Jul 28, 2011 9:52 am

It all started with a sticky note. Not just ANY sticky note, but an official 3M brand Post-It Note, one and a half by two inches. And not just one single official 3M brand Post-It Note, but four-hundred and seventy-two of them.

It was my first day on the job, working in a support center on the helpdesk for a large corporation. I could look forward to two weeks of training, and the Post-It Notes weren’t helping me gain the confidence of my supervisors.

Backing the story up a little bit, we find me living in Northern MN in a tourist trap town, barely making ends meet. A friend by the name of Jeff, whom I had not spoken with in many years, happened to show up one day and we got to talking. It turns out Jeff was now living in the Twin Cities area of Minnesota working on the helpdesk, and making good money to boot.

I jokingly said that he should get me a job there, and within 30 seconds I had a business card in my hand with an email address to send my resume to.

One week later, I had an interview, and found out less than 30 minutes after the end of the interview that I had the job. Two weeks later, the car was loaded and I was on the road.

The day I started dawned bright and sunny. The weather was beautiful with a forecasted high in the mid-70s. It wasn’t Spring, but it felt like Spring Fever coursing through my veins. I was excited to start the new job with a good friend, and looked forward to the much heftier paychecks.

When I arrived, I went through the security check-in, got my new ID badge, and went down to the call center to begin.

Jeff had the day off, and I had already been assigned a seat in the “Bullpenâ€
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Postby Ratkity » Thu Jul 28, 2011 10:37 am

:applause: :applause:

Good one Syn!

Keep em coming :)

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Postby Synthesis » Thu Jul 28, 2011 12:08 pm

This volley in the Prank War takes place about 14 months into my job at Supervalu.

I had quickly risen to the challenge of my job, and was considered the “Go Toâ€
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