How to deal with a skeptical hubby

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How to deal with a skeptical hubby

Postby Kelleyaynn » Tue May 19, 2009 6:07 pm

How many of you ladies out there had (have) husbands who were (are) skeptical about your ability to build a teardrop? My husband is, and I'm not sure it's so much about me, as it is about him (he isn't handy that way, so why should I be?). I'm thinking about building a camp kitchen/storage trailer (small, plans posted in another thread), and I think I can do it. But I'm afraid I will hear about how silly it is for me to try. :x

Anyone here had experience with this type of attitude?
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Postby Miriam C. » Tue May 19, 2009 6:15 pm

:lol: Oh my poor Michael. Well I saved my funny money and got a donor trailer. It isn't perfect, it has room for a potty, (per his request. Well really he didn't want to escort me to the public place late at night) :lol: The crew here is awesome and will help. Just ask.

Oh and I had only hung paneling, some house repairs and made a book shelf. ;) It really isn't hard if you follow directions or think it out.........

Oh yeah and the chatter with his family and mine.

:lol: 8) You can do it! :thumbsup:
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Postby NWsage » Tue May 19, 2009 9:09 pm

Hey there. My hubby was less than supportive at first, but he's biting his tongue right now. At one point, when I was redrawing my plans again, he made a discouraging comment, and I just said that I wish he would be happy for me that I'm doing something I love. Then, we went to a teardrop gathering a couple of weeks ago and he heard me talking with other builders and I think it occurred to him that I might actually know what I'm doing. He's even started to help me source out stuff for the build.

I think he might be afraid I'll fail, even tho' he knows I'm pretty handy. This is my first time building anything that's not a pre-cut kit, and something of my own design (which I think is half the fun right now).

Anyway, the best to you and I'm going to look up your design thread and watch what you're doing.

:thumbsup:

Suanne
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Postby tonyj » Tue May 19, 2009 9:18 pm

Don't listen to him. Follow your heart. The worst that can happen is that you will learn new skills, and have to start doing all the home repair projects! :lol:

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Postby campinwi » Wed May 20, 2009 9:12 am

I'm not very good at carpentry, and since my husband built his mom's house, even hand making all the kitchen cabinets, I asked him to build me a teardrop. He didn't want to do it, so we comprimised for now and I bought a 6 x 10 cargo trailer.

As part of our compromise, I asked him to build me some boxes. We had the plywood that he had gotten free, so it was minimum work.

He started building the boxes, I did assist with drilling the hoes and putting in the screws. All was well, until he told me he was going to then take them all apart so he could glue them and then put them all back together.

I share this to show how different some men and women think. I would have glued and nailed them together at the same time, to save time. His mind works very different than mine. My point is, he doesn't see things the way I do. Most of my ideas he says won't work, then I do them and they come out great and function the way I want.

So, if you want to build a teardrop, go ahead and do it. Find some other people who could assist if you get into trouble. I've even thought of going to the local community college or high school that has wood working. Also, some retired woodworkers might help.

I am very happy with my cargo trailer so far. Planning to go out for the first time this weekend. I'm still deciding how I want to arrange things, that I'm sure will change after I use it. I do have six boxes made that are 16 X48 inches and open on one side. I can move them in various configurations, and can put four together for a bed. Just what I wanted.
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Postby jonesgirl » Wed May 20, 2009 11:20 pm

I don't have a hubby to discourage me, but I've got older brothers and sisters that actually talked me out of building a teardrop last winter. I'm the youngest of 7 and even though I'm 45, they will always think of me as the baby... :roll: ...It doesn't help that I'm not married...yet... --Anyway, since I've never done anything like this before, it's hard for them to picture me doing it at all. They didn't start taking me seriously until I mentioned this forum and all the shared build experience from all the members. They were even more supportive when I found the Lady Teardropers page.
:phew:
It's not quite like having a discouraging hubby that I live with, but I understand having a dream squelched. I still don't talk about the build to them much, :MLAS but when I do, I keep my doubts and questions to myself and talk about what's next in the build. This seems to keep the discouraging comments to a minimum. -- That's what I love about this forum there's so much positive input with a "can do" attitude. I've been doing more reading than posting comments or questions so you all haven't heard much from me yet, but I'm here soaking it all in and building my courage to "get-r-done." :woohoo:
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Postby b.bodemer » Thu May 21, 2009 10:11 am

My friend Kate wanted to build a td but didn't think her husband wanted to get involved. So I sold her my paritally build convertible td and we finished it together.

She's got a sweet looking td that she'll take when she kayaks and camps....

Image

I just saw her last weekend and gave her a bumper sticker I made up:
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Go girls.............................

Barb
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Postby fireaunt » Fri May 22, 2009 7:26 pm

Mine always sees the glass half empty - as opposed to my half full.

It makes it really hard to share the joy - just come here to share your excitement - we know that it is so much fun to imagine something and try to figure out how to do it - it's never perfect but you get lots of satisfaction in the trying and sharing with us.
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Postby Joanne » Fri May 22, 2009 7:59 pm

I'm sorry to hear that your husband isn't encouraging you. I guess some guys think that the ability to make things is genetic. :x

I had never done any woodworking before I started my trailer. There were times I spent weeks trying to figure out how to do the next step. I stayed with it and ultimately finished my trailer. I turned down help from a number of friends because I wanted to say "I built it".

I would vote that you go ahead and give it a try. I hope that your hubby comes around and supports your effort!

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Postby S. Heisley » Fri May 22, 2009 8:26 pm

Joanne! :shock: I would never have guessed you had not done woodworking before you built your Desert Dawg! Dang! You did one great job!

Kelleyaynn, click on Joanne's Project Desert Dawg website (beneath her name in her comment) and you'll see what I mean. It's one of the best build websites out there! Show that one to your husband. :thumbsup:

Sometimes a person thinks you can't because they think they can't. Sometimes, people think they or someone else can't do something because their parents or other authority figures told them that. But, the only thing that stops you is not finding a way to do it.

Just remember, where there's a will to do it, there's a way just waiting to be found. :thumbsup:
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Postby Miriam C. » Fri May 22, 2009 9:16 pm

You know by the time you get around to needing help holding things he will be on board.............

Mike wasn't really negative just didn't know how. He started reading and it wasn't as hard for him. He noticed other women were doing it too. Chell, Joanne and Julie's pictures, along with many others really helped.

This is one of my favorite pictures. This is the point that he was 100% sure it would work and that he had helped.

Image

A warning, if he starts reading here he will want a full size tear......... :thumbsup:
“Forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past.â€
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Postby fireaunt » Sat May 23, 2009 5:13 am

Miriam,
I'm glad to see that you made him take his shoes off in the house.
:lol:
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Postby mercy » Sun May 24, 2009 9:27 pm

my husband was skeptical of my urge to build a teardrop (note the usage of the past tense). he does happen to be handy, where i wasn't really at that time. i didn't do it for him, i did it because i felt like it, wanted to flex a different set of muscles, wanted to learn something different... by the time i got the frame and made a template for the sides, he realized i meant business, and was on board 100%.

there are plenty of reasons to not build a trailer. being afraid to hear how silly the idea is is not one of them.

do it. skepticism be *censored*.
8)
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Postby peggyearlchris » Sun Jun 07, 2009 9:17 pm

You can do it. If I can so can you. I had negative feed from some family members. I told myself I can do this. I took my time ,still not 100% done. My husband was not helping like I hoped he would. He did some welding and helped me pick up the heavy things. Other than that I built it myself. Not sure if I was doing right sometimes. I just asked the great people here on this forum and they were happy to help with any questions or problems I had. I always let fear stop me from doing things. Not this time. I got a new job this past April. It was time for a change and I stopped letting fear get in my way. The best thing I ever did. Building my Teardrop led me to this new job with the county in Building and maintence for Nueces County. I hope to see you build and have fun. :D :thumbsup: :thumbsup: Peg
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