Forgive me ladies :)

This is where the gals can have their very own discussions...

Forgive me ladies :)

Postby F3RR3T » Wed Jun 30, 2010 7:21 pm

Forgive me for venturing into the lady domain. Im young by definition at 20 years old.

I have come to a un-confirmed conclusion that my generation of lady's are not sure what they want. They can want to get an apartment one day and start a life with you. Then months later they do a complete 180 down another road all together.

for example. When i was 14 i met my first GF keri we were together 2 years before my parents divorced and i moved and we split. We had slightly touched on kids marriage etc. Now fast forward to Jan 09 i met her on the side of the road with her mom broke down, She now had two kids and the father had hit the road. I stepped in took care of the kids we ultimately got engaged and i moved us into a small house in town. Everything she wanted kids a house financial stability and a husband (well almost). March of this year i came home early to find her with another man. (packed my things and left). We later talked about the event and why. Her answer left me in awe she was to comfortable there was no unpredictability no day to day struggle. She is now back in the forest single and on welfare.

Since march i have been with someone older than me (29) and its night and day. She knows exactly what she wants and knows how to get there. Ultimately Monday morning we went are separate ways as she landed a great job in houston and i could not make that move, but felt she should go and be set for life.

I am trying to figure out if

A. my generation is really as unpredictable and more by the seat of the pants as i think it is.

or

B. Do to my upbringing (old school type views mixed with country manners) i just dont fit my generation. I do find most of my friends and people i associate with are 30 and older. And i find myself looking at the new fads and multiple other things in my age range that leave me thinking "what is the appeal and what are they thinking"

or

C. as keri said i tried to hard "meaning by trying to make us happy and at basically succeeding at everything she wanted in her "happily ever after" i tried to hard... I don't get it.


I talked about this to my grandmother she simply handed me a cassette with the song Ronnie McDowell ~ Older Women

Love old country but never heard that song but i tend to agree
F3RR3T
Teardrop Inspector
 
Posts: 21
Joined: Mon Jun 21, 2010 8:22 pm

Re: Forgive me ladies :)

Postby michaelwpayton » Wed Jun 30, 2010 7:30 pm

F3RR3T wrote:Forgive me for venturing into the lady domain. Im young by definition at 20 years old...


You are 20... build a/another teardrop, stay close to true friends and family... and stop worrying about/trying to figure-out/being so serious about "the ladies." All things... in their time :-)

EDIT: Opps... didn't realize I was in the "ladies area" :oops:
-Michael

"all things should be as simple as possible... but no simpler"
michaelwpayton
Teardrop Master
 
Posts: 192
Images: 4
Joined: Thu Jun 24, 2010 7:41 pm
Location: Williamsburg, VA

Re: Forgive me ladies :)

Postby chorizon » Wed Jun 30, 2010 7:49 pm

michaelwpayton wrote:
F3RR3T wrote:Forgive me for venturing into the lady domain. Im young by definition at 20 years old...


You are 20... build a/another teardrop, stay close to true friends and family... and stop worrying about/trying to figure-out/being so serious about "the ladies." All things... in their time :-)

EDIT: Opps... didn't realize I was in the "ladies area" :oops:


No worries...I was going to offer my advice too but realized maybe I oughtta just wait and let the other guys dispense with the incriminating evidence and dig themselves a new hole!

Ferret, I've been there, Bro. This too shall pass...

When you're least expecting... ;) :beer:
User avatar
chorizon
Platinum Donating Member
 
Posts: 871
Images: 94
Joined: Tue Feb 26, 2008 12:44 pm
Location: Austin, Texas
Top

Postby Miriam C. » Wed Jun 30, 2010 8:20 pm

:o Well it would be easy to blame TV but the truth is people tend to saturate themselves in their generational culture. As they age most will think for themselves. Just watch TV or listen to music with a girl a few times......That should let you know where she is and where she is not going. I mean if she is into "Bridezilla" you might want to run..... :lol:

Relax---study---have some fun......Life isn't really as short as they say for most of us...... Oh and make a real life for yourself. Buy a house, car, boat and do build a few TD's. ;) Campgrounds and sports are great places to meet girls with their head firmly attached....
“Forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past.â€
User avatar
Miriam C.
our Aunti M
 
Posts: 19673
Images: 149
Joined: Wed Feb 15, 2006 3:14 pm
Location: Southwest MO
Top

Postby F3RR3T » Wed Jun 30, 2010 8:25 pm

Miriam C. wrote::o Well it would be easy to blame TV but the truth is people tend to saturate themselves in their generational culture. As they age most will think for themselves. Just watch TV or listen to music with a girl a few times......That should let you know where she is and where she is not going. I mean if she is into "Bridezilla" you might want to run..... :lol:

Relax---study---have some fun......Life isn't really as short as they say for most of us...... Oh and make a real life for yourself. Buy a house, car, boat and do build a few TD's. ;) Campgrounds and sports are great places to meet girls with their head firmly attached....


very true about the TV and music. Personally i watch very little TV past the discovery channel and the military channel.

My plan is to live in the camper im about to build through college and for a few years once i start working as its cheap and ultimately i love it. I am going to school for a clinical doctrine in science of nursing to become a CRNA so i have quite a few years ahead of me.
F3RR3T
Teardrop Inspector
 
Posts: 21
Joined: Mon Jun 21, 2010 8:22 pm
Top

white knight

Postby danlott » Wed Jun 30, 2010 10:24 pm

Ok, I will go ahead and respond to this one.

To me it sounds like you were trying to be a white knight. Come riding in on your horse and save this girl from all her problems. I think that as much as girls talk about wanting to find there prince charming, they do not really want that.

You sound like a fairly stable and reliable person. This to most girls your age will probably come across as boring. I suffered from that alot at your age. The girls always wanted someone that was "exciting". Well the exciting guys are usually the jerks that get a girl pregnant twice and then leave them.

I would not try so hard to find someone. Just go on with your life being who you want to be. Do not try to be someone you are not. You will eventually find someone. Chances are it will be someone that you were not even trying to find.

Dan
Hoplite Traveler Build thread
Image Image
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
User avatar
danlott
Donating Member
 
Posts: 846
Images: 252
Joined: Fri Mar 06, 2009 2:18 pm
Location: Winnemucca, Nevada
Top

Postby satch » Thu Jul 01, 2010 12:07 am

Wish I was 20 again :D
If it itches. scratch it
Rick
User avatar
satch
Donating Member
 
Posts: 1196
Images: 65
Joined: Thu Feb 07, 2008 9:46 pm
Location: the arm pit of Cali
Top

Postby gregp136 » Thu Jul 01, 2010 10:20 am

I have wandered that path and I do not believe it is your Generation. I have found, in my MANY years, that we atract a certain type of partner and we are attracted to a certain type of partner. It took years for me to get to a place where I was able to get beyond my insticts and actually love a woman who was good for me and I was good for her.

Life is a long road, we spend a lot of it getting over the programing of our youth.

Just my thoughts,

Greg (and Laurie)
Image
User avatar
gregp136
The 300 Club
 
Posts: 326
Images: 100
Joined: Sun Jan 03, 2010 8:11 am
Location: West Allis, Wisconsin
Top

Postby Eunice » Thu Jul 01, 2010 10:32 am

satch wrote:Wish I was 20 again :D

me too but only if I can keep the wisdom and experience. At 20 I was one of those girls who thought she knew what she wanted but I bounced around for quite awhile until I found the true me.

F3RR3T it is not your generation, it has been every generation. It just takes awhile to "get your feet wet and figure it out" Be sure to enjoy life while you are living it.
Eunice
former director
Jefferson State Chapter
TearJerkersImage
User avatar
Eunice
Jefferson State Tearjerker
 
Posts: 1440
Images: 109
Joined: Sun Jul 30, 2006 4:25 pm
Location: northern California, Fortuna
Top

Postby Todah Tear » Sat Jul 03, 2010 1:39 pm

gregp136 wrote:...I do not believe it is your Generation. I have found, in my MANY years, that we atract a certain type of partner and we are attracted to a certain type of partner...Life is a long road, we spend a lot of it getting over the programing of our youth.

Just my thoughts,

Greg (and Laurie)


I was about to type the same thing, but you did such a good job. We are creatures of habit, but we have brains that help us make conscious choices outside of our habits and paradigms. People who are used to drama tend toward situations that bring it because it is familiar...and familiarity breeds security for them however false it may be.

You seem to be a rescuer. You sound like you like to treat others well. You have a lot to offer someone....but you need to treat yourself well too. (The following is not accusatory.) Ask more questions going into the situation on your next opportunity.

It is said that character proves out in time. It sounds like you really want be married some day, so start out at the "associates" level where you are just getting to know the person (An old friend may have experienced things that caused them to change drastically) You ask questions during this point because you are trying to get to know the person. If it turns out that the two of you have a lot in common, bring her on in as a friend and see if she is the kind of person that you can be intimate with (not talking about the physical either). By intimate, I mean is she someone that you can bring in close, share your heart and your stuff with :D and know that she won't take you for a ride. See if you agree on issues that are major to you. Does she fight fair. Will she love you and will she let you love her. Find out how past relationships ended (There are loads of clues about character in this step.) Basically, will she make a good friend. After the euphoric period of a relationship is over, friendship helps keep it glued. If all goes well, reel her in and be clear that you are interested in a long-term relationship. She will either be receptive or not.

Pray for direction in your search as you go through the process. Remember, during the "associate" and "friendship' phases, multiple persons may be involved. Once you get to the last phase, you are safer only proposing to one person :D, so don't string someone along to the last stage if you find that you really just want to be friends....but you don't strike me as someone who would do that anyway.

Be blessed,

Todah
"It is not good to have zeal without knowledge, nor to be hasty and miss the way." Proverbs 19:2 Image
User avatar
Todah Tear
Platinum Donating Member
 
Posts: 1719
Images: 262
Joined: Mon Feb 13, 2006 3:30 pm
Location: Texas
Top

Postby rebapuck » Mon Jul 05, 2010 4:10 pm

Again. Not your generation.

Just live your life while looking for your mate. If you are like me, you won't find one. But that's okay. I didn't put anything on hold in hopes that someone would join me.

I was told at the age of 20 that I would never marry. WHAT? He said it was because I did everything myself so I didn't need a man. Well, if I'd had a man, I wouldn't have needed to do everything myself.

Another told me I was too picky. Well, maybe. But I think marriage warrants "picky".

So just go about fulfilling your goals with an eye out for someone who shares your vision.
Judy
1966 VW camper
1967 VW singlecab
Image
User avatar
rebapuck
.
 
Posts: 2217
Images: 1
Joined: Thu May 14, 2009 1:55 pm
Location: Chapel Hill NC
Top

Postby PanelDeland » Mon Jul 26, 2010 5:04 pm

The best advice I can give kind of follows the others.You sound like you have ahandle on what you want to try for a living.Do that.It may not be the "thing" you wind up really wanting to do but it is where you start.Many people never use the degre they earn for that but it opens doors to what they wind up finding.
As to your personal life,just be you,develop hobbies,intrests and friends for yourself.Build a fullfilling life for yourself and when the right person comes along they will want to share that with you.Make sure that in any relationship,that you take time for you.If you're ever with someone who wants to take that away then they are the wrong person.You must be able to keep a strong "you" in able to build a strong "Us".

It will also help you to build a strong spiritual relationship whether it be a traditional Christian,or other religion or a spirituality with nature,thru studies of Buddism or whatever woorks for you.
"I know the voices in my head aren't real,but they have some really good Ideas!"
PanelDeland
Teardrop Master
 
Posts: 225
Joined: Sun Jul 20, 2008 3:32 pm
Location: Greensboro NC
Top


Return to Lady Teardroppers

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest