Every Christmas, my office of like 25 women (most ugly or fat) and 5 men (I'm straight so I don't know if they're ugly) have a pot luck lunch.
The men actually put effort into PREPARING something decent, but most of the women just bring crackers and cheese, bean sprout manure and other salads, or they buy desserts or some other crap at the supermarket. But they hardly ever MAKE anything.
After 5 years, this kind of thing starts to piss you off a little, you know? Like, why should I even bother?
Well, this year, when we got the email about the date of it, I emailed back to everyone saying I would once again be bringing a meat dish. (I did beef ribs for two years, skirt steak wrapped in bacon for another, that kind of thing.)
Except this year, I think I'm bringing two dishes:
Grilled chicken hearts that I'll reheat in my portable camping oven right outside the office.
And Rocky Mountain Oysters (Bull's testicles)...but lie to all of them and tell them it's something else.
I KNOW they won't touch the chicken hearts, so I'll just say, "Why don't you have a few of my fried mini-meatballs instead?"
Can they throw me in jail for this?
By the way--I don't care if they hate ME or fire me for it. I'll just tell them after they finish eating:
"Well, they ARE meat BALLS, and I didn't have a good recipe for crackers and cheese!"