For great plumbing advice, don't ask ME!

[Ira]

What a MESS this weekend...trying to finish up the sink work.

This is gonna be like a MOVIE for you guys, where I keep going back in forth in time--'cause there's no other way to adequately illustrate the aggravation. (Some facts may also be unintenionally altered because I haven't been thinking too clearly since Yesterday.)

Went to HD in the morning to pick up a few things, but couldn't find the flag holders/brackets to use for my hatch supports. I spend about 20 minutes in a total daze staring at ANYTHING I could possibly modify to use for my broomsticks:

Rat traps, tar paper, Reese's Pieces, barbecue grills, the guy who sells hot dogs at the door--nothing would work. (Ever have one of those HD days? You KNOW there are things in there you need, but you can't get your brain to make the connections?)

Then I'm off to HF to pick up my 13-piece, $3.99 hole saw set--so you know we're talking quality here! I get to the yard and drill the hole in the countertop for the faucet head, and I glue on the grommet. No problem.

I take the sink with the 1 1/2" flexible plastic drain pipe over to the hose, fill with water, and she's leaking. Back and forth to the hose, constant tightening in-between, and finally, she ain't leaking.

So I have this 1 1/2" plastic pipe which has to go to a 3/4" PVC reducer coupler. A 3/4" copper stem will be stuck into the other side, to extend out to the exterior of the TD for connection to a garden hose. So since the large pipe coming from the drain is plastic (no threads), and it's connecting to PVC, the guy at HD had previously told me to use the all-purpose adhesive in the red can, not regular PVC cement.

My first mistake--I see that on the reducer I bought, the 1 1/2" side is THREADED. I bought the wrong piece, but figure that since this is only for some minor water drainage, I should be able to adequately secure the two pieces, and use teflon tape on the outside if necessary.

No way. Those two pieces wouldn't adhere, and I tried like 5 times. (There wasn't a good fit because the threads blocked it.)

But let's look at a few hours BEFORE this, where Ira is once again aimlessly wandering the aisles at HD!

So I'm gonna have about a half-inch of this 3/4" brass coupler sticking "out" of the TD, but I really want THIN 3/4" nuts to put on both sides of it to secure it to the wall. Well, there's no such thing, and the only thin 3/4" nut made in China is used for electric conduit.

I'm concerned because first, this grey steel nut is gonna look kind of ugly on a brass stem, and THEN I'm concerned because they don't HAVE it in 3/4".

Tons of 1/2"! Tons of 1"! Tons of 1/1/2"! But alas, the 3/4" cupboard is bare. The shelf signage was indeed there, mocking me:

SKU 19837612 00 - 3/4" Conduit Fastener -- 6 Pieces -- $2.69 -- $19.99 for Ira

So another failure, and let's fast-forward again to the boatyard:

I take out my 3/4" hole saw, attach to drill, and drill my hole in the side. Yeah, I can't connect those two pieces, I'm aware that I'm nut-less and can't really secure the stem (see above incident), but damn--I'm at least gonna cut that freakin' hole if it kills me!

And it almost did. The hole for my countertop wasn't too bad, but the 3/8" ply side was a PAIN! But eventually, we have hole. And she's almost round, too.

I now take the 3/4" brass stem, determined to stick it in this glorious orifice, but it was determined to NOT go in. I'm banging like a maniac, and I'm starting to make good progress--she's moving like 1/128" inch every ten minutes. I finally get her through, but needless to say, I deformed the stem.

The GOOD news is that she's stuck in there so tight now that I don't need those nuts any more! But it's totally worthless.

And I couldn't get it out. I mean, I COULDN'T get it out.

Please have your calculator handy, add up the above problems, and try to gauge my anxiety level and how I decide to proceed.

Yep--you got it. Cut a 1 1/2" hole around it to get the stupid thing out and take it from there.

The only thing that went according to plan was hanging my front cabinet curtains and instailing my spice rail.

I'll probably take a day off work this week to TRY and finish this and do some other stuff.

[Chip]

Ira,,, all I can say is stop,,,,, just stop,,, I am laughing my fool butt off, I wish I owned a company so I could hire you,,, It sure would be fun to just sit back and watch you work,, I could probably sell tickets and retire,,,,,,,

chipper

[dacrazyrn]

Dear Penthouse,
You will never believe the day I had...

I'm aware that I'm nut-less...determined to stick it in this glorious orifice, but it was determined to NOT go in. I'm banging like a maniac, and I'm starting to make good progress--she's moving like 1/128" inch every ten minutes. I finally get her through, but needless to say, I deformed the stem.

The GOOD news is that she's stuck in there so tight now that I don't need those nuts any more! But it's totally worthless.

And I couldn't get it out. I mean, I COULDN'T get it out.

[Chris C]

[Ira]

Tracy, that's scary. I had no intention at ALL of making that sexual, yet it came out that way.

And Chip, it would be real funny if it wasn't so TRAGIC. I was DISGUSTED.

Plus, it was Sunday, and they weren't selling beer until NOON! And I even tried to explain that I was a spastic JEW trying to build a TD and they still wouldn't sell me any.

If I had had a few beers in me, I probably wouldn't have had any problems!

[Ira]

:lol:

GO PLAY WITH YOUR TONGUE BOX!

[elmo]

Dear Penthouse,
You will never believe the day I had...

I'm aware that I'm nut-less...determined to stick it in this glorious orifice, but it was determined to NOT go in. I'm banging like a maniac, and I'm starting to make good progress--she's moving like 1/128" inch every ten minutes. I finally get her through, but needless to say, I deformed the stem.

The GOOD news is that she's stuck in there so tight now that I don't need those nuts any more! But it's totally worthless.

And I couldn't get it out. I mean, I COULDN'T get it out.

Where is your mind? Good catch!

[Chris C]

:lol:

GO PLAY WITH YOUR TONGUE BOX!

Oh, okay! Only I wasn't laughing at your story, but Tracey's slant on it.

[Ma3tt]

BEST IRA STORY YET!!!!!! It had everything adventure, tragedy, weird sex, and plot twists. I laughed, I cried, a must see!

[rampage]

Man, I've gotta make sure I'm not eating while reading your stories, Ira. I was laughing so hard I almost choked on my lunch.

[Sonetpro]

Ira,Ira,Ira,
I know you'll kill me for this.....but why didn't you just get a boat "thru hull" fitting, they are made to do just this.
you brightened up my Monday though.

[Ira]

BVut why didn't you just get a boat "thru hull" fitting, they are made to do just this.

Made to do what?

Drill a 3/4" hole for you? To connect to a chafing dish being used as a sink with a small bar drain in it? Yet using 1 1/2" plastic flexible hosing to bring down to 3/4"?

Yeah, there's a stainless Perco at West Marine for 89 bucks, but I'm trying to do this for under 10.

STOP LAUGHING AT ME! THERE'S A FINE LINE BETWEEN HUMOR AND VIOLENCE AND I'M ABOUT TO CROSS THAT LINE!

Seriously, just joking. You're a rich man, Steve. Just buy the dang thing and send it to me.

I GIVE UP!

You got a link? I already have a 1 1/2" hole there, but my guess is that it isn't too late.

[Sonetpro]

Wallyworld, Academy, Plastic one is about $5
BTW 3/4" was inside diameter.

[asianflava]

No Academy in FL, but West Marine would have them.

[Miriam C.]

Darwin award winner: Woman chokes on Ira story.
Warning don't do this at home.
Dang Ira, ya almost got me. It's alright, men don't like plumbing and are proned to frustration when plastic and PVC don't go together.

Try to find the link where Courtney posted the "tape". Or maybe Chipper could get it for you. Would be easier.
Aunti M