Dad Jokes

Things that don't fit anywhere else...

Re: Dad Jokes

Postby alaska teardrop » Tue Nov 14, 2023 3:46 pm

:scratchthinking: Son: "Dad, why are you always talking to yourself?"

Dad: "I'm the only one that will listen."
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Re: Dad Jokes

Postby Tom&Shelly » Wed Nov 15, 2023 3:32 pm

DJ Davis wrote:Why couldn't the green chili practice archery? He didn't habanero.


:lol: Love the Southwestern flavor of that one!

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Re: Dad Jokes

Postby Tom&Shelly » Wed Nov 15, 2023 3:44 pm

There's a law that you have to turn your headlights on if it's raining in New York State.

I'm in New Mexico; how the heck do I know if it's raining in New York? :thinking:

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Re: Dad Jokes

Postby Tom&Shelly » Fri Nov 17, 2023 6:57 pm

Why is Saturday better than Friday?

Friday is a weak day!

Tom :frightened:
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Re: Dad Jokes

Postby rjgimp » Mon Nov 20, 2023 2:06 am

Accidentally rubbed some ketchup in my eye. Now I have Heinzsight.
-Rob


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just as soon as the steering committee gets around to scheduling one!
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Re: Dad Jokes

Postby TimC » Mon Nov 20, 2023 9:46 am

Hilarious guys!

Hope you don't mind that I'm stealing some of these so I can get some eye rolls during Thanksgiving dinner this year. :lol:
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Re: Dad Jokes

Postby Tom&Shelly » Mon Nov 20, 2023 1:24 pm

TimC wrote:Hilarious guys!

Hope you don't mind that I'm stealing some of these so I can get some eye rolls during Thanksgiving dinner this year. :lol:


Absolutely Tim! Stealing is the sincerest form of larceny! :thumbsup:

Besides, I got most of mine from Youtube.

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Re: Dad Jokes

Postby rjgimp » Mon Nov 20, 2023 7:36 pm

I'm avoiding exercise.

I am in the fitness protection program.
-Rob


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Re: Dad Jokes

Postby rjgimp » Tue Nov 21, 2023 12:02 am

If the whole world held hands around the equator, most of them would drown.
Last edited by rjgimp on Thu Nov 23, 2023 9:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.
-Rob


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Re: Dad Jokes

Postby bdosborn » Tue Nov 21, 2023 3:03 pm

Whats the difference between a phlebotomist and a urologist? A phlebotomist pricks your finger.
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Re: Dad Jokes

Postby rjgimp » Tue Nov 21, 2023 11:26 pm

How do you tell the sex of an ant? Put it in water. If it sinks, it’s a girl ant.

If it floats… buoyant!
-Rob


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Re: Dad Jokes

Postby rjgimp » Wed Nov 22, 2023 2:16 am

I used to be a banker but then I lost interest.
-Rob


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Re: Dad Jokes

Postby Tom&Shelly » Wed Nov 22, 2023 8:07 am

We were in the grocery store yesterday and found spam (the real thing, not the internet type) came out with a product that's twice as healthy!

They made the cans half as tall.

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Re: Dad Jokes

Postby DJ Davis » Wed Nov 22, 2023 1:16 pm

Teach wolf to meditate and it becomes aware wolf.
DJ

They say "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." I've noted that if it doesn't kill you, it waits patiently for another opportunity.
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Re: Dad Jokes

Postby Tom&Shelly » Wed Nov 22, 2023 2:03 pm

Just got a birthday card and when I opened it, tons of rice came out.

It was from my uncle Ben.

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