Dad Jokes

Things that don't fit anywhere else...

Re: Dad Jokes

Postby Tom&Shelly » Mon Jul 08, 2024 5:19 pm

Just drove back from Colorado and saw the sign: "Road Work Ahead; Double Fine".

I don't know about double, but the work that crew was doing was, indeed, very fine! :thumbsup:

Tom
173599 170466 173366
Tom&Shelly
Palladium Donating Member
 
Posts: 2304
Images: 2108
Joined: Tue Sep 05, 2017 3:27 pm
Location: Upstate New York/New Mexico

Re: Dad Jokes

Postby Tom&Shelly » Sat Jul 13, 2024 6:27 pm

Crime is so bad in Albuquerque someone even stole all the toilets from the police station.

APD says they have nothing to go on.

Tom
173599 170466 173366
Tom&Shelly
Palladium Donating Member
 
Posts: 2304
Images: 2108
Joined: Tue Sep 05, 2017 3:27 pm
Location: Upstate New York/New Mexico

Re: Dad Jokes

Postby Tom&Shelly » Mon Jul 15, 2024 9:23 pm

Hickory Dickory Doc,

Two mice run up a clock.

The clock struck one,

The other one got away.

Hickory Dickory Doc.

Leroy Troy
173599 170466 173366
Tom&Shelly
Palladium Donating Member
 
Posts: 2304
Images: 2108
Joined: Tue Sep 05, 2017 3:27 pm
Location: Upstate New York/New Mexico
Top

Re: Dad Jokes

Postby Tom&Shelly » Wed Jul 17, 2024 7:22 pm

Why did the bicycle fall over?

It was two-tired!

Tom
173599 170466 173366
Tom&Shelly
Palladium Donating Member
 
Posts: 2304
Images: 2108
Joined: Tue Sep 05, 2017 3:27 pm
Location: Upstate New York/New Mexico
Top

Re: Dad Jokes

Postby rjgimp » Thu Jul 18, 2024 1:18 pm

I once pretended to be asleep and I fell asleep.

Today I will pretend to be skinny. :thinking:
-Rob


I hope to make it to a Procrastinators Anonymous meeting someday...
just as soon as the steering committee gets around to scheduling one!
User avatar
rjgimp
500 Club
 
Posts: 810
Images: 7
Joined: Fri Feb 22, 2019 3:59 am
Location: Saint Paul MN
Top

Re: Dad Jokes

Postby Tom&Shelly » Fri Jul 19, 2024 5:54 pm

No one goes to downtown Albuquerque anymore, there's too much traffic!

But I do know someone who drove all the way across Albuquerque in record time. He hit all the green lights....

...three yield signs, a few street lights, and a pedestrian. :frightened:

Tom
173599 170466 173366
Tom&Shelly
Palladium Donating Member
 
Posts: 2304
Images: 2108
Joined: Tue Sep 05, 2017 3:27 pm
Location: Upstate New York/New Mexico
Top

Re: Dad Jokes

Postby Tom&Shelly » Fri Jul 19, 2024 6:28 pm

rjgimp wrote:I once pretended to be asleep and I fell asleep.

Today I will pretend to be skinny. :thinking:


Gotta be careful of that:

I once pretended I knew what I was talking about on a particular technical subject.

Today I'm a consultant! :thumbsup:

Tom
173599 170466 173366
Tom&Shelly
Palladium Donating Member
 
Posts: 2304
Images: 2108
Joined: Tue Sep 05, 2017 3:27 pm
Location: Upstate New York/New Mexico
Top

Re: Dad Jokes

Postby rjgimp » Fri Jul 19, 2024 10:44 pm

I was kicked out of a local park after lining all the squirrels up by height.

They didn't want me critter sizing.
-Rob


I hope to make it to a Procrastinators Anonymous meeting someday...
just as soon as the steering committee gets around to scheduling one!
User avatar
rjgimp
500 Club
 
Posts: 810
Images: 7
Joined: Fri Feb 22, 2019 3:59 am
Location: Saint Paul MN
Top

Re: Dad Jokes

Postby Tom&Shelly » Sat Jul 20, 2024 2:33 pm

Do you suppose inanimate objects care whether you anthropomorphize them? :thinking:

Tom
173599 170466 173366
Tom&Shelly
Palladium Donating Member
 
Posts: 2304
Images: 2108
Joined: Tue Sep 05, 2017 3:27 pm
Location: Upstate New York/New Mexico
Top

Re: Dad Jokes

Postby rjgimp » Mon Jul 22, 2024 12:41 am

My wife and I decided never to go to bed angry.

We have now been awake five days...
-Rob


I hope to make it to a Procrastinators Anonymous meeting someday...
just as soon as the steering committee gets around to scheduling one!
User avatar
rjgimp
500 Club
 
Posts: 810
Images: 7
Joined: Fri Feb 22, 2019 3:59 am
Location: Saint Paul MN
Top

Previous

Return to Off Topic

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest