Dad Jokes

[Dan242]

Why do they call it a Tuna fish sandwich, but not a Chicken bird sandwich?

[DJ Davis]

I'll be the first to admit that my relationship with alcohol is on the rocks most of the time.

[Tom&Shelly]

I'll be the first to admit that my relationship with alcohol is on the rocks most of the time.

Neat!

Tom

[Tom&Shelly]

What is Buffy's favorite type of Christmas music?

Slaying songs.

Tom

[Tom&Shelly]

Why do bees have sticky hair?

Because they use honey combs.

Tom

[Tom&Shelly]

Shelly and I were cracking pecans tonight and I wondered about who would have the will-power to do all that and--instead of eating them right away--bake them in cookies.

Some nut named Sandy, she answered.

Tom

[Tom&Shelly]

We just finished our Christmas jigsaw puzzle. I don't want to brag, but we did it in five days, and the box said 6 to 12 years!

Tom

[Tom&Shelly]

Did you folks hear the rumor about butter?

Well, I'm not going to spread it!

Tom

[Tom&Shelly]

They call them lighthouses, but have you ever tried to lift one?

Tom

[Tom&Shelly]

Our high school was nearly on one bank of the Susquehanna River, and the football field was literally in the flood plane. We had a lot of rain one Fall and it was a terrible season, with most home games either cancelled or rescheduled to the opposing teams' fields. But then we had a cold snap and the coach bought the players ice skates and hockey sticks. That was a game changer!

Tom

[Tom&Shelly]

How do snowmen know what the weather will be like?

They look it up on the Winternet.

Tom

[Tom&Shelly]

This morning Shelly asked me to think of a seven letter word that's made up of only four letters. It's driving me bananas!

Tom