My teardrop to the rescue

[Senior Ninja]

My wonderful wife of three years has slipped so far into Dementia that she no longer knows who I am. She confuses me with her first husband who abused her. Her children cannot believe it of their dad. She went to a stranger's house and wouldn't come home with me. Since there wasn't an APS person available, the sent a CPS worker to interview her. Instead of interviewing her in a car she
conducted the questioning in front of the strangers. I wasn't allowed in. I was told to go home and pack a bag for her. She was taken to her son's home two hours away. I didn't even get to say goodbye! The second phone call I got from one of the sons informed me that they needed to consolidate her resources. In short, get out of the house. I now live nine hours away and have not seen my wife since she went to her son's. I am almost inconsolable. When you've been everything to someone you love and they are suddenly gone it's so painful.
Thank God for my son and my best friend.
So what does this have to do with my teardrop? I filled it to the ceiling and moved most of my stuff to Bakersfield. It was a real help during an absolutely awful time.
Steve

[dreadcptflint]

Wow, Steve, that is a rough one. I am glad that your teardrop and your son and friend are helping you through. Cherish the three years that you had together because not everyone has that long.

Matt

[Py0tr]

Steve our thought are with you. I understand some of what you are facing.

[Redgloves]

THis is a sad story. Where were her sons until the interview and rehousing of your wife? Have the sons been involved?
As you know, being the primary caregiver of an adult with dementia is more then a 24 hour job.

As for your wifes memories, one of the mysteries of dementia. My experience with elderly in-laws is they live in past memories, with infusions of past experiences and confusion with current. As for the realibility, no one can be expected to validate her statements.
Her physical needs for shelter, food, and safety are the top priorities.

As you stated, you have found alternate housing, but need to address your emotional rollercoaster. Ideally relationships can be restored or at least open communication with step kids. If not, cherise the time together, talk with your family, counslers, support groups.

Familly members can quickly become enemies due to variety of reasons. Your first duty is to protect yourself financally.

Jean

[S. Heisley]

Steve, please accept my sympathy. Such a sudden loss is shocking as well as difficult for anyone.

I hold the belief that everything happens for a reason. Once you wade through this emotional rollercoaster of happenings, that reason will become clear and you will find your new place in life. Stay strong so you can weather this, one of life's more miserable storms thrown at you.

[Shadow Catcher]

Steve
You probably need to be talking with the social worker handling your wife's case and a lawyer to find out how to protect your wife and yourself.
If the process was not handled well then there is the California licensing board as one alternative for filing a complaint against the CPS worker. This is taken very seriously in most states .
I know you are hurting on many levels and if you wish to PM me with a phone number or wish mine I will be willing to help in any way that I can.
Tom