selling a sentimental/childhood home... your experience?

[oklahomajewel]

Since my folks both died 5 and 6 years ago, I've been living in the house I grew up in.. Well, almost. The original house was one story, then my carpenter dad added the upstairs back in the 80s .

My dad was a lifelong carpenter, and they bought the 1/2 acre lot back in the early 50s. He built the original house, did the driveway the full cellar and now the quanset hut shaped huge workshop in back. The house is now actually 1 1/2 stories, but about 2300 s/f and 5 bedrooms etc. A nice old house, and even though remodeled , it's still all dad-built and the neighborhood is great (older) , some neighbors still there that remember when I was born and big old trees. My house has 2 pecan and 1 apple tree. The house is great in spring and fall --- great breezes thru the windows !!!! awwww!!!

the house

the barn we call it

But ... I'm divorced now, have two teenage boys - one getting ready to go to the Guard and college (Edmond, OK), but likely "live at home" this first year. The other will graduate h.s. next spring and wants to go to a college in Edmond (That's where his older brother will be going)
Their dad still lives and has the house where the boys grew up most their life, right there by the high school.

I've been thinking , and always said that one day this house will be too big, too much to take care of, or I won't be able to walk the stairs or mow the big yard anymore.... Well, right now it's a matter of lots of space but no time to enjoy it, needs remodeling and repairs and frankly the insurance and elec and gas bills are killing me. I've been working a 2nd job for 6 mos , have still been in debt and no computer or cable tv, no new clothes, now I need new glasses, car tires, taxes paid, and due for a mammogram... and I owe myself $7000 on my 401K ---- I just turned 44 y/o by the way

So I'm seriously seriously thinking of selling this house and sizing down and just getting an apt.... the apt could be closer to my work (20 miles away) which would also be closer to where the boys are both planning to go to school. And I would be *debt free* and could quit the other job etc.


I would just appreciate knowing what other people have gone thru with parting with something like that... a child hood home or something so sentimental.... It is just a house, it's not my dad, it's not something I can 'take with me'.

Thanks !

Julie (in Midwest City, OK)

[wolfix]

Tough question......

I sold my personal home where I raised my children and lived in 20 years. Moved to a small apartment that is way too cheap....... I do not regret it. My utilities at my apartment for a year is the same amount I paid in 2 months at the house.......... I totally downsized.
I actually got rid of 90% of what I owned as far as personal items and furniture. And I have not missed one thing in 6 years. Not one thing.
I no longer feel money pressures, nor do I have so much lawn care and maintenance.........
I miss my garage, but I never used it at home anyway because I had a shop for my business. I did everything there.

Funny thing, I do not miss my house.
The other day my fridge motor blitzed out. I called the office, went to work and when I came home I had a new fridge.......

The memories will always be there. And sometimes we hang on to things because of memories. But the thing is , it's not the house you want to remember, it's your life there.
I guess the thing is now you are at the age where your children are basically raised, you are single .... go out and make new memories........
My dad used to say..'If you don't make the front page of the newspaper once in awhile, you ain't living."
Good luck

[fatehunter1972]

Julie,

Your mother and father are with you wherever you are. (Even if you try to get away they are in your genes
If they loved you, of which I have no doubt, they would want you to live your life the way it best suits you and your family.

It's hard, I know. Our family home burnt down so there is only the acreage left. I have little things though, little momentoes. Sometimes I even drive past an old home just to look at it.

You do not disrespect your parents by moving/selling their home. You honor them by cherishing their memory, respecting their human qualities and when you really need asking what they would have done.

THen again, my father was not the easiest so I don't always do what he would have wanted

Michael

[oklahomajewel]

Thanks so much for that quick reply !!!!

I agree with all of what you said... There are lots of memories ther, but I have pictures, scrapbooks, etc and a memory to hold all that. Dad planned and built the house -- all of us four kids helped in some way from floor boards, to rafters, to cellar blocks, a brother before I was born, he was killed in a school bus accident right there in front of the house when he was 4., I built my teardrop there in the 'barn' ... but the stress is getting to me, I hate being in debt. It's great to have a big house but it's too big now...

I was thinking too of all the stuff I would sell -- some furniture, the mower, the weedeater, wheelbarrow, even dishes and all...

Thanks! (even though it is making me cry

[apratt]

I agree with most of what was said. YES the memories of your family will always be with you. Don't the big house become a big burden to you. I say go ahead and down size, but I am not fond of apartments or renting. renting the rent payments usually double every 7 years OUCH. I say buy a smaller affordable home. Maybe with the sale of your house you could pay cash for the smaller home or at least your payments would be smaller. Just my 2 cents.

[Miriam C.]

How about if I cry with you. Many times I have picked up and left a house, friends and neighbors. You learn to carry your love in your heart.

My one piece of advice is to buy another house. Smaller if need be but there is no insurance like owning it. As you get older your needs will change but to need to keep finding a new apartment or the rent going up or the neighborhood going down is inevitable.

The first thing my mom did when my dad died leaving her with 7 children at home was buy a house. She has never had to worry about where her children or grandchildren would live. She didn't build her house with a hammer, she built it with hard work, a lot of prayer and a big heart.

There is also the tax thing when you sell to think about. Unless you do taxes for a living you might have a talk with a pro.

[madjack]

Julie...I too live in the house my Mom and Dad built and it is way bigger than what we need...we have considered selling but can't get the price we wanted, so we stay...to help out on utilties, we heat with wood and put a small AC window shaker in the bedroom so we don't have to heat/cool 2300sf...this cut our heating bill by 75% and electric bill in half...I will echo others about taking a pss on an apartment...find a smaller, less expensive house or a condo in a nice area...owning is so much nicer than renting...which is just like setting fire to money every month.....
madjack

[apratt]

Miriam, I beleive it is the same everywhere but I could be wrong. If you live in your house for more than 2 years you can sell it and not have to pay any capitol gains tax.

[Miriam C.]

Miriam, I beleive it is the same everywhere but I could be wrong. If you live in your house for more than 2 years you can sell it and not have to pay any capitol gains tax.

Is that if you reinvest in a home? Not sure anymore.

[apratt]

Miriam, I beleive it is the same everywhere but I could be wrong. If you live in your house for more than 2 years you can sell it and not have to pay any capitol gains tax.

Is that if you reinvest in a home? Not sure anymore.

Nope!

[EZ]

Yes Julie, by all means make your present life enjoyable as you deserve. No reason to stay in a house that is too big for you and can't afford to live in. Again you will always have memories of then, but this is now. After a short while you will wonder why you didn't do that sooner. My 88 year old Mom moved into an apartment 3 years ago leaving home she lived in for 50 years and that I grew up in. I have no regrets at all and she doesn't either. I remember the good ole days but I am pretty much emotionally detached from the place. Whether you live in an apartment or buy a smaller, more affordable home it is time to move on to another life phase.

Help yourself have a happy life now!

Ed

[oklahomajewel]

Thank you all.... I know it's a better decision... I know the house would sell for around $95K and my mortgage is only $57K and then would essentially have an estate sale for all the yard equipment, picnic tables, some furniture... heck! I might just sell it all and buy new table , new dishes, etc. ! haha

I emailed my brother in Texas and he's in agreement with me (and all of y'all) He doesn't wanna live here, and the other two siblings can't/won't.

Now its just on to talking to the boys and the ex..
I would put any $$ made into the bank for a while, and do an apt until I decide whether to buy a condo or something.
I actually look forward to less stuff and less cleaning and up keep ! more Teardrop time !!!

[mwatters]

Course - there's more ways to get cash out of a property than simply selling it...

What are rents like in your area? If there's a decent rental market you can probably rent the house for more than your payments are on it (month to month). You really don't have to have much in the way of a monthly positive return on the thing for it to make sense. The main advantage it that it let's you hold onto the house while somebody else (the renter) makes your mortgage for ya. You can then sell it further down the line. If the home SALES market is anything there like it is here... that might be worthwhile.

mkw

[oklahomajewel]

yes, I've thought about that too... just leasing it for a while.
I was going to ask my friend , who is a realtor in the area now and happened to grow up right across the street ! It would still mean moving and trusting that someone else would not wreck the house!

We'll see... thanks !

[Nitetimes]

Keep in mind that renting the house puts you in the position of being responsible for repairs and such. Depending on the kind of people you get it can get real expensive in hurry.
Just something to think about. Personally I'd sell it.