Thought for the day or Something to think about.

[Steve_Cox]

Bob & Judith,

I never miss reading your Thought for the day posts. Thanks.

Congratulations for passing your 1000 post too!

[SmokeyBob]

Bob & Judith,

I never miss reading your Thought for the day posts. Thanks.

Congratulations for passing your 1000 post too!

Thank you

[SmokeyBob]

A billion here, a billion there, sooner or later it adds up to real money.
~ Everett Dirksen

Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
~Andy Rooney

It's like deja vu all over again.
~Yogi Berra

[SmokeyBob]

Someday we'll look back on this moment and plow into a parked car.
~ Evan Davis

Pat Williams, Orlando Magic general manager, on his team's 7-27 record: "We can't win at home. We can't win on the road. As general manager, I just can't figure out where else to play."

Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
~Andy Rooney

[SmokeyBob]

Alan Kulwicki, stock car racer, on racing Saturday nights as opposed to Sunday afternoons: "It's basically the same, just darker."

A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.
~ Samuel Goldwyn

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
~Andy Rooney

[SmokeyBob]

I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.
~Author Unknown

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
~Author Unknown

I said "I'm so happy, I could die."
She said "Drop dead," then left with another guy.
~Elvis Costello

True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
~Erich Segal

Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy.
~Henry Kissinger

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell.
~Joan Crawford

Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man that I want my children to spend their weekends with?
~Rita Rudner

Have a happy V-Day

[SmokeyBob]

Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my @#%#%@ clothes."

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you.
~ Rita Mae Brown

A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede jacket. 'You know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' she sneered. I replied in a psychotic tone, 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too.
~Jake Johansen

[Jiminsav]

I'm #1 at going #2

[SmokeyBob]

More Points to Ponder

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was. She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

Whose cruel idea was it to put an "S" in the word "Lisp"?

Is there another word for synonym?

What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they worried someone will clean them?

Why do they put Braille on the drive thru bank machines?

Why do they use sterilized needles for lethal injections?

Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

[SmokeyBob]

I have a microwave fireplace in my house. The other night I laid down in front of the fire for the evening in two minutes.
~ Steven Wright

I don't kill flies but I like to mess with their minds. I hold them above globes. They freak out and yell, 'Whoa, I'm way too high!'
~Bruce Baum

USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
~ David Letterman

[SmokeyBob]

Even More Points to Ponder
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.

It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

[SmokeyBob]

Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.
~ Jerry Seinfeld

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.
~ Steven Wright

I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.
~ Lily Tomlin

[SmokeyBob]

My grandfather's a little forgetful, but he likes to give me advice. One day, he took me aside and left me there.
~ Ron Richards

I had a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability to use language that makes him the dominant species on the planet.That may be. But I think there's one other thing that separates us from animals. We aren't afraid of vaccuum cleaners.
~ Jeff Stilson

[SmokeyBob]

Truth is stranger than Fiction, but it is because fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.
~Mark Twain

My husband and I debated having two kids or three. We settled on two because I realized I was probably going to have to give birth to all of them myself.

~Lori Petterson

And always remember the last words of my grandfather, who said, '*#@%! A truck!'
~Emo Phillips

[Miriam C.]

“In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friendsâ€