Teardrops n Tiny Travel Trailers

by **PaulC** » Sat Mar 18, 2006 1:32 am

CHINESE PROVERBS

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Man who run in front of car get tired.
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Man who run behind car get exhausted.
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Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok
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Man with one chopstick go hungry.
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Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
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Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
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Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
! *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Panties not best thing on earth! But next to best thing on earth.
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War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
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Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
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Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
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It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
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Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
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Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
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Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
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Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
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Man who fart in church sit i n own pew.
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Crowded elevator smell different to midget.

by **Chris C** » Sat Mar 18, 2006 10:40 am

by **cracker39** » Sun Mar 19, 2006 7:11 pm

Angus McBroon of Glasgow comes to the little lady of the house exclaiming, "Maggie, cud ya be sewin on a wee button that's come off of me fly? I canna button me pants."

"Oh Angus ... I've got me hands in the dishpan. Go up the stairs and see if Mrs. MacDonald could be helpin' ya with it."

About 5 minutes later there's a terrible crash, a bang, a bit of yelling and the sound of a body falling down the stairs. Walking back in the door with a blackened eye and a bloody nose comes Angus.

The little lady looks at him and says, "Me God, what happened to ya? Did you ask her like I told you?"

"Aye," says Angus. "I asked her to sew on the wee button an she did. Everything was goin' fine... but when she bent doon to bite off the wee thread, Mr. McDonald walked in."

by **cracker39** » Sun Mar 19, 2006 7:24 pm

I heard a story recently about a student named Donald
MacDonald from the Isle of Skye (in Scotland) who was
admitted into the prestigious Oxford University and was
living in the hall of residence in his first year there. His
clan was so excited that one of their own had made it into
the upper class of education, but they were concerned how he
would do in "that strange land." After the first month, his
mother came to visit.

"And how do you find the English students, Donald?" she
asked.

"Mother," he replied in his thick brogue, "they're such
terrible, noisy people. The one on that side keeps banging
his head against the wall, and he won't stop. The one on the
other side screams and screams and screams away into the
night."

"Oh, Donald! How do you manage to put up with those awful
noisy English neighbors?"

"Mother, I do nothing. I just ignore them. I just stay here
quietly, playing my bagpipes..."

by **PaulC** » Sun Mar 19, 2006 8:52 pm

Women are like apples on trees.
The best ones are at the top of the tree.
Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are
afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren't
as good, but easy. The apples at the top think something is wrong with
them,when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the
right man to come along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to
the top of the tree.
Share this with women who are good apples, even those who have
already been picked!
Now Men.... Men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's
up to women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into
something acceptable to have dinner with.

The views presented are not necessarily those of me!

by **Chris C** » Sun Mar 19, 2006 9:18 pm

PaulC wrote:Women are like apples on trees.
The best ones are at the top of the tree.
Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are
afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren't
as good, but easy. The apples at the top think something is wrong with
them,when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the
right man to come along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to
the top of the tree.
Share this with women who are good apples, even those who have
already been picked!
Now Men.... Men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's
up to women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into
something acceptable to have dinner with.

The views presented are not necessarily those of me!

How true, how true, how true. Thanks for reminding all of us. :applause:

by **PaulC** » Sun Mar 19, 2006 10:07 pm

My Pleasure Chris

Just trying to add a little balance to the thread.
Cheers
Paul :thumbsup:

by **Chris C** » Sun Mar 19, 2006 10:09 pm

No kidding.............it can get lopsided sometimes.

by **Chris C** » Mon Mar 20, 2006 1:18 pm

One Question IQ Test

Here's a one question IQ Test to help you decide how you should spend the rest of your day......

There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth, he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.

Now if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses, how should he express himself?

Think about it first before looking down for the answer...

He opens his mouth and says. "I would like to buy a pair of sunglasses"

If you got this wrong - please turn off your computer and call it a day.

I've got mine shutting down right now... :roll:

by **Rob** » Mon Mar 20, 2006 2:21 pm

Chris--

Time for me to go home and call it a day.

by **Chip** » Mon Mar 20, 2006 2:54 pm

Kinda of spooky that such intelligent folks are shutting their computers down and going home and playing with power tools,,, kind of makes ya really think ,,,dont it