Free cat to a good home

[Jiminsav]

So I have this cat.
Actually it’s my girlfriend’s cat.
Actually we have two, a small grey tabby named T**** that is a blast to have around, and the “other one”.
It’s corpulent, bright orange and has medium length hair, so of course to me it’s name has only ever been Fat Bastard.
(I’m not kidding, this cat is obese enough that it’s gut leaves it’s own trail in the middle of it’s footprints after I vacuum the carpet, uniformly triangulating the food dish, the litter box, and the hammock it has steamrollered for itself in my underwear hamper)
Fat Bastard has a problem.
It’s very existence revolves solely around consuming anything organic.
I mean anything.

We can’t have real plants anymore, not even cactus.
(My girlfriend didn’t laugh when I, tired of the green vomit, suggested Poinsettias)
We have all of the food stored in cupboards that have child locks on them.
Opening the fridge involves holding a broom.
(I’d love to teach the fracker a lesson by trapping it in there for a little bit, but beyond the cessation of all sexual activity when my girlfriend finds out, I’m pretty sure this thing is as well-insulated as a walrus and I’d only open the door and discover carnage, not to mention fuzzy rage propelling itself to freedom with one of it’s signature exertion farts)
We have a bungee cord holding the lid on the trash can, which also happens to be attached to the wall to prevent, as my girlfriend calls it, “accidental tipping”.
Ordering pizza involves trapping it in a bedroom, then listening to it scratch furiously at the door as soon as it gets a whiff of oregano.
It drinks pop.
We can’t walk away from the stove while preparing a meal, as even scalding hot pots and pans have proven no match for it’s powerful, powerful lust.
I love bacon, yet it’s become contraband since the “incident”.
(Which my girlfriend still somehow regards as my fault, as if I encouraged the fracking thing to snatch sizzling bacon right out of the pan, headfirst, then tear-ass around the house alternating between muted howling and ragged, gasping swallows.)
It has, on a number of occasions, snarfed an entire pack of cigarettes.
Christ, this cat has eaten soap that smelled like melon.
It was entertaining at first, playing the “Let’s see what we can get in there” game, but when this fracking beast blew right through wasabi, jalapenos, mustard, lemons, live grasshoppers, Skittles, and an extra-shot latte, I got the point.

I’m tired of having to treat simple food items like they’re plutonium.
I miss having a bag of chips or a cold pizza on the coffee table while I’m watching the game.
I’m fed up with having to wait to do laundry because the basement has been fouled by a particularly rank dump.

Enough is enough.

If you want her, she’s yours.
The girlfriend or the cat, it’s your call…
(Either way, you don’t even have to get out of the car; I’ll just unwrap a Kraft single and throw it in the backseat.)

Please, help a guy out…

* this is in or around the end of my rope

[Hardin Valley Magic]

Not to be rude but is "IT" really worth all that? My goodness if so geezz I'm rather jealous....

[Jiminsav]

Steve, that was posted on the best of Craig list..and it deserves it's best of rank..

[Steve_Cox]

If you want her, she’s yours.
The girlfriend or the cat, it’s your call…
(Either way, you don’t even have to get out of the car; I’ll just unwrap a Kraft single and throw it in the backseat.)

Please, help a guy out…

* this is in or around the end of my rope

The girlfriend sounds like a "keeper" Jim... But if you want to put out a contract on the cat send me a PM..... I know dis guy in Miami......

Steve

[Hardin Valley Magic]

P/B rope worked well for me too. Like you said to cover seams. I used 3/8 hemp rope. When I got done I looked at it and the first thought was, damn that looks like a whiskey barrel turned inside out!!

[Joanne]

Good point:

I don't want to hijack a thread about a dead cat, especially since I loved Powder's post in the first place. But hijacking a thread about a dead cat toward the subject of TD construction is STILL considered hijacking, right?

Hey Ira! Glad to see you around here again. Hopefully you can get the Crab done before next summer. (Before the rain starts again.)

I'm making progress on the DesertDawg. Slow progress, but progress.

Take care,
Joanne

[s4son]

Ira,

Ya gotta restock the old personal album. What's going on with the Crab????

Maybe you should start a new thread about that, though. Some folks are touchy abou HIJACKING at thread!

Now that's a switch. Hijacking a thread to talk about teardrops.

[bledsoe3]

Does that mean there's a possibility of the Crab becoming the Krusty Krab?

After his short exile let's call it the hermit crab.

[surveytech]

Ira,
Boaters world has a cool "crab tray" that may just fit your theme for
your tear. May be just the thing for beer nuts.

http://tinyurl.com/bzsvt

And there are several "Boaters World" stores in your area.
Good luck with the build.

Thanks for the tip about the rope for inside trim. They have a teal colored
rope that will be perfect for the inside wall/ceiling seam on my tear.

Walter

[Ira]

Hey, Walter--those bowls are cool. I'm gonna order a bunch eventually. I'm constantly on eBay doing "crab" searches, and I've found some cool stuff there too. But there's a Boaters World close to me too, so maybe they have them in stock.

Powder (et al), I'm not the first guy to use the rope for interior seams, but I think I'm the first to use it on the exterior. For the exterior, I plan to epoxy, for looks and durability. I still can't figure out, though, how to finish off the ends. I'm not too concerned about the front ends that drop down, but the rear ends that end at the hatch have to be finished off somehow. Like wrapped in something, because they look awful the way they are.

For the interior, here's the rub:

How the heck do you secure it? I was considering affixing a length with thread to a reasonably thick long dowel, bending the dowel to the curvature of the roof, running a bead of epoxy/other adhesive to one side of the rope, and then putting it in place. But I don't know how messy and effective this is going to be.

So any other ideas?

[toypusher]

Ira,

Try poly construction adhesive. It should hold the rope in place while it dries.

[GeorgeTelford]

Hi Ira

Really glad to see you back here.

General

The visual cat joke at the begining was a real laugh

[Gage]

Gee, I know this is no way to trumpet my return, but...
I laughed my a** off.

Just couldn't stay away Ira Welcome back.

Have a good day.

[Ira]

[quote="Gage"Just couldn't stay away Ira [/quote]

I came back after you removed that avatar of the back of your head.

After seeing it, I was scared to death you would show the FRONT.

[goldcoop]

Ira-

Welcome back!

BTW you missed the full frontals of Gage!

Cheers,

Coop