A guy falls asleep on the beach for several hours and gets a
horrible sunburn. He is taken to the hospital by ambulance and is
promptly admitted after being diagnosed with second degree burns.
With his skin already starting to blister and noting the severe
pain he is in, the doctor goes ahead and prescribes continuous
intravenous feeding with saline, electrolytes, a sedative and a
Viagra pill every four hours.
The nurse, who is rather astounded, asks, "What good will Viagra do
for him now, Doctor?"
"It will keep the sheets off his legs."
by Nitetimes » Sun Aug 13, 2006 11:14 pm
Once a Pennsylvanian, ALWAYS a Pennsylvanian!
About Pennsylvanians.
You've never referred to Philadelphia as anything but "Philly".
You refer to Pennsylvania as "PA" (pronounced Pee-ay). How many other states do that?
"You guys" is a perfectly acceptable reference to a group of men & women.
You know how to respond to the question "Dijaeetyet?" (Didyoueatyet?)
You learned to pronounce Bryn Mawr, Wilkes-Barre, Schuylkill, the Poconos, Tamaqua, Tunkhannock, Bala Cynwyd, Duquesne, Shikellamy, & Monongahela because in school you had to.
You know what a "Mummer" is, and are disappointed if you can't catch at least the highlights of the parade.
You know what "Punxsutawney Phil" is, and what it means if he sees his shadow.
The first day of buck season is a school holiday.
You know how to get 'rid' of things and how to read (red) up.
You can use the phrase "fire hall wedding reception" and not even bat an eye.
At least 5 people on your block have electric "candles" in all or most their windows all year long.
You know what a "Hex sign" is.
You know what a "State Store" is, and your out-of-state friends find it incredulous that you can't purchase liquor at the mini-mart.
You know many people who only own only 4 condiments: salt, pepper, mustard and ketchup.
Words like "hoagie," "crick," "chipped ham," "sticky buns," "shoo-fly pie," "pierogies" & "pocketbook" actually mean something to you.
You can eat cold pizza (even for breakfast) and know
others who do the same. (Those from NY find this "barbaric.")
You not only have heard of Birch Beer, but you know it comes in several colors: Red, White, Blue, Brown, & Gold.
You know several places to purchase or that serve Scrapple, Summer Sausage (Lebanon Bologna), and Hot Bacon Dressing.
You can eat a cold soft pretzel from a street vendor without fear and enjoy it. It almost always comes with mustard.
You know the difference between a cheese steak and a pizza steak sandwich, and know that you can't get a really good one outside PA except Atlantic City on the boardwalk.
You live for summer, when street and county fairs signal the beginning of funnel cake season. Flea markets are also a great form of entertainment and socializing.
Customers ask the waitress for "dippy eggs" for breakfast.
You know that Blue Ball, Intercourse, Paradise, Climax, Bird-in-Hand, Beaver, Moon, Virginville, Mars, and Slippery Rock are PA towns. (and the first 3 were consecutive stops on the Reading RR).
You know what a township, borough, and commonwealth is.
You can identify drivers from New York, New Jersey, or other neighboring states by their unique and irritating driving habits.
A traffic jam is 10 cars waiting to pass a horse-drawn carriage on the highway in Central PA.
You know several people who have hit deer more than once.
You carry jumper cables in your car & your female passengers know how to use them.
You still keep kitty litter, starting fluid, de-icer, or a snowbrush in your trunk, even if you live in the south.
Driving is always better in winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
Intercourse and Blue Ball have two meanings to you!
As a kid you built snow forts and leaf piles that were taller than you were.
Your graduating class consisted of mostly Polish, German, & Italian names.
You know beer doesn't grow in a garden but you know where to find a beer garden.
You also know someone who lives "down the lane past the fork in the road by the old oak tree near the old red barn "
You actually understand all this & send it on to other Pennsylvanians or former Pennsylvanians!
About Pennsylvanians.
You've never referred to Philadelphia as anything but "Philly".
You refer to Pennsylvania as "PA" (pronounced Pee-ay). How many other states do that?
"You guys" is a perfectly acceptable reference to a group of men & women.
You know how to respond to the question "Dijaeetyet?" (Didyoueatyet?)
You learned to pronounce Bryn Mawr, Wilkes-Barre, Schuylkill, the Poconos, Tamaqua, Tunkhannock, Bala Cynwyd, Duquesne, Shikellamy, & Monongahela because in school you had to.
You know what a "Mummer" is, and are disappointed if you can't catch at least the highlights of the parade.
You know what "Punxsutawney Phil" is, and what it means if he sees his shadow.
The first day of buck season is a school holiday.
You know how to get 'rid' of things and how to read (red) up.
You can use the phrase "fire hall wedding reception" and not even bat an eye.
At least 5 people on your block have electric "candles" in all or most their windows all year long.
You know what a "Hex sign" is.
You know what a "State Store" is, and your out-of-state friends find it incredulous that you can't purchase liquor at the mini-mart.
You know many people who only own only 4 condiments: salt, pepper, mustard and ketchup.
Words like "hoagie," "crick," "chipped ham," "sticky buns," "shoo-fly pie," "pierogies" & "pocketbook" actually mean something to you.
You can eat cold pizza (even for breakfast) and know
others who do the same. (Those from NY find this "barbaric.")
You not only have heard of Birch Beer, but you know it comes in several colors: Red, White, Blue, Brown, & Gold.
You know several places to purchase or that serve Scrapple, Summer Sausage (Lebanon Bologna), and Hot Bacon Dressing.
You can eat a cold soft pretzel from a street vendor without fear and enjoy it. It almost always comes with mustard.
You know the difference between a cheese steak and a pizza steak sandwich, and know that you can't get a really good one outside PA except Atlantic City on the boardwalk.
You live for summer, when street and county fairs signal the beginning of funnel cake season. Flea markets are also a great form of entertainment and socializing.
Customers ask the waitress for "dippy eggs" for breakfast.
You know that Blue Ball, Intercourse, Paradise, Climax, Bird-in-Hand, Beaver, Moon, Virginville, Mars, and Slippery Rock are PA towns. (and the first 3 were consecutive stops on the Reading RR).
You know what a township, borough, and commonwealth is.
You can identify drivers from New York, New Jersey, or other neighboring states by their unique and irritating driving habits.
A traffic jam is 10 cars waiting to pass a horse-drawn carriage on the highway in Central PA.
You know several people who have hit deer more than once.
You carry jumper cables in your car & your female passengers know how to use them.
You still keep kitty litter, starting fluid, de-icer, or a snowbrush in your trunk, even if you live in the south.
Driving is always better in winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
Intercourse and Blue Ball have two meanings to you!
As a kid you built snow forts and leaf piles that were taller than you were.
Your graduating class consisted of mostly Polish, German, & Italian names.
You know beer doesn't grow in a garden but you know where to find a beer garden.
You also know someone who lives "down the lane past the fork in the road by the old oak tree near the old red barn "
You actually understand all this & send it on to other Pennsylvanians or former Pennsylvanians!
Rich
-
The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to
keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves
against tyranny in government.
- Thomas Jefferson -
Personally, I carry a gun because I'm too young to die and too old to take a butt kickin'.
-
The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to
keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves
against tyranny in government.
- Thomas Jefferson -
Personally, I carry a gun because I'm too young to die and too old to take a butt kickin'.
-
Nitetimes - 7000 Club
- Posts: 7909
- Images: 194
- Joined: Sat Feb 12, 2005 12:44 am
- Location: Butler,PA
