Good News & Bad News...

Things that don't fit anywhere else...

Good News & Bad News...

Postby Podunkfla » Mon Jun 18, 2007 4:07 pm

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and
populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach,
green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and
Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's
Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want
chocolate with that?" And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said,
"and as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they
gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep
the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth
white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and
combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented
Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on
the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following
the repast.

God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and
olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep
fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own
platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went
through the roof.

God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel
Food Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then created
chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food.

God then brought forth running shoes so that His children
might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a
remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the
channels And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the
flickering blue light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and
brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful
skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried
them. And Man gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer
calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created
McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said,
"You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super
size them!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man went into
cardiac arrest

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

Then Satan created HMOs.
:twisted: :cry: :o :lol:
<B>~ Brick
<I>... I've done so much with so little for so long... Now I can do almost anything with nothing! </I></B>
Image...Lots more pix here!
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Postby sledge » Tue Jun 19, 2007 10:09 pm

yep...........sounds about right. :lol:
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Postby Laredo » Tue Jun 19, 2007 11:24 pm

Satan sure had a hand in HMOs.

When it comes to your town see Michael Moore's movie, "SICKO," about how Big Pharma and the Insurance Companies (and the government) created the mess that is the profit-driven US "health care" system.
Mopar's what my busted knuckles bleed, working on my 318s...
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Postby Mary K » Wed Jun 20, 2007 12:36 am

:Oh Brother: Just like my motto say's...see below
Mary K

I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve. Bilbo Baggins
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