Tech support for husbands

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Tech support for husbands

Postby southpennrailroad » Fri Jul 30, 2010 6:39 am

INSTALLING A HUSBAND

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed
a distinct slowdown in overall system performance,

particularly in the flower and jewelry applications,
which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
· Romance 9.5 and
· Personal Attention 6.5,
and then installed undesirable programs such as
· NBA 5.0,
· NFL 3.0 and
· Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

· Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems,
but to no avail.
What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------




DEAR DESPERATE

First, keep in mind,
·

Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
· Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html, try to download Tears 6.2,
and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
· If those applications work as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically
run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0
to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.

· Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download
Farting and Snoring Loudly (Beta).

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0
(it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program.
This is an unsupported application and will

crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory
and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional
software to improve memory and performance. We recommend
· Cooking 3.0 and
· Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck!
Tech Support
Long time researching the abandoned South Pennsylvania Railroad along the Pennsylvania Turnpike. God will guide me. As he has done so in the past. southpennrailroad.com
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Postby BILLYL » Fri Jul 30, 2010 9:19 am

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


8) Bill

Thanks
"If your children ever find out how lame you really are, they'll
gonna murder you in your sleep...." Frank Zappa
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Postby emiller » Fri Jul 30, 2010 9:37 am

Excellent :lol:
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Postby Eunice » Fri Jul 30, 2010 10:16 am

BILLYL wrote::lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


8) Bill

Thanks


love this!
Eunice
former director
Jefferson State Chapter
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Postby teardrop_focus » Fri Jul 30, 2010 10:59 am

:lol:

Outstanding!
.
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"There is something about these little trailers that brings out the best in people." - BigAl, Scotland, 2010

"Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into the trees...
The winds will blow their own freshness into you and the storms their energy, while cares will drop away like autumn leaves..." - John Muir, 1898


Chris Squier / teardrop_focus :-)~
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Husband/Wife Lesson

Postby eamarquardt » Fri Jul 30, 2010 12:52 pm

Here is an interesting motorcycle that communicates a lot more than just offering a motorcycle for sale. There is an eff word so I didn't post it on the open forum.

http://tnttt.com/album_ ... c_id=69043

Cheers,

Gus
The opinions in this post are my own. My comments are directed to those that might like an alternative approach to those already espoused.There is the right way,the wrong way,the USMC way, your way, my way, and the highway.
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Postby Henderson » Sat Jul 31, 2010 4:46 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: THAT IS FUNNY, RIGHT THERE.
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Very Similar to the Original Wife 1.0

Postby LesterS » Thu Aug 05, 2010 10:14 am

Girlfriend 6.0 vs. Wife 1.0
Comparative Trial
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Last year a friend of mine upgraded from GirlFriend 6.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it's a memory hog leaving very little system resources available for other applications. He is now noticing that Wife 1.0 is also spawning Child Processes which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomena was included in the product brochure or the documentation, though other users have informed him that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application.

Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself such that it is always launched at system initialization, where it can monitor all other system activity. He's finding that some applications such as PokerNight 10.3, BeerBash 2.5, and PubNight 7.0 are no longer able to run in the system at all, crashing the system when selected (even though they always worked fine before). During installation, Wife 1.0 provides no option as to the installation of undesired Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw 55.8 and BrotherInLaw Beta release. Also, system performance seems to diminish with each passing day.

Some features he'd like to see in the upcoming wife 2.0.

    1) A "Don't remind me again" button
    2) A Minimize button
    3) An install shield feature that allows Wife 2.0 be installed with the option to uninstall at any time without the loss of cache and other system resources
    4) An option to run the network driver in promiscuous mode which would allow the system's hardware probe feature to be much more useful.


I myself decided to avoid the headaches associated with Wife 1.0 by sticking with Girlfriend 7.0. Even here, however, I found many problems. Apparently you cannot install Girlfriend 7.0 on top of Girlfriend 6.0. You must uninstall Girlfriend 6.0 first. Other users say this is a long standing bug that I should have known about. Apparently the versions of Girlfriend have conficts over shared use of the I/O port. You think they would have fixed such a stupid bug by now. To make matters worse, The uninstall program for Girlfriend 6.0 doesn't work very well leaving undesirable traces of the application in the system. Another thing -- all versions of Girlfriend continually popup little annoying messages about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bug Warning
Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.1 before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself. Then Mistress 1.1 will refuse to install, claiming insufficient resources.

Bug work-arounds: To avoid this bug, try installing Mistress 1.1 on a different system and never run any file transfer applications such as Laplink 6.0. Also, beware of similar shareware applications that have been known to carry viruses that may affect Wife 1.0. Another solution would be to run Mistress 1.1 via a UseNet provider under an anonymous name. Here again, beware of the viruses which can accidently be downloaded from the UseNet.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support Suggestions
These are very common problem men complain about, but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 6.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a Utilities & Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is indeed an operating system and designed by its creator to run everything.

It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 6.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 6.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 6.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this.

Some have tried to install Girlfriend 7.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system. Look in your manual under "Warnings - Alimony/Child support". I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and deal with the situation.

I suggest installing background application program C:\YES DEAR to alleviate software augmentation. Having installed Wife 1.0 myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. In any case avoid excessive use of C:\YES DEAR because ultimately you may have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high-maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 3.1 and Diamonds 2K. Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary with Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of Luck,
Tech Support
Lester
Bristol, TN
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Still buildin' on teardrop time.
Build thread started here: http://www.tnttt.com/viewtopic.php?t=19404&highlight
And continued here: http://www.tnttt.com/viewtopic.php?f=50&t=41005
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Postby starleen2 » Thu Aug 05, 2010 10:26 am

Ben running Wife 1.0 and Husband 1.0 for many years - I don't see the need to upgrade - although performance and memory of both are slipping a bit :D
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Postby azmotoman » Thu Aug 05, 2010 11:44 am

Wifey 1.0 CRASHED and left me wishing I had done more backups! Luckily that version was lame to begin with and had virtually NO Y2K compatibility. Wifey 2.0 is all about US and makes most days a joy to wake up to. (sweet, I don't have to reach for my gun as often)

Always, ALWAYS install, re-boot or refresh the current user format to assure a trouble free day.

It worked for me! Try it!

"Hey, look . . . . Mikey likes it!"
8)
Money isn't everything, but it keeps the kids in touch!
*************
Dinero isn' ¡t todo, pero él mantiene el interés de los niños!
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