[quote="biziedizie" What's this drug induced thoughts all about

[/quote]
I live with pain, daily, that is well recognized for it's ability to drive people to suicide. See:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide_diseaseThere are 12 cranial nerves on each side of the brain that don't go through the spinal column. When they go crazy and generate pain it's called a neuralgia. The trigeminal nerve is the one that goes crazy most often. Others can and do go crazy causing similar pain. Most folks have trouble with one nerve on one side of the brain causing episodes of pain. I have 5 nerves on both sides of the brain that cause me pain 24/7. I have continuous pain versus "episodes" of pain. This, type 2 neuralgia, has only recently been recognized as a variant and "in the beginning" of my journey the doctors discounted my telling them that I'm always in pain and that it's just a matter of degree.
I've been to over 200+ doctors, had 11 surgical procedures including brain surgery and one surgery where the doctor used NO anesthesia. Nothing helped.
So, the only way to deal with the situation was to quit work, lay low as much as possible at times, and use opiates daily.
I, being inexperienced with opiates, got in way over my head using them, experienced unacceptable side effects, and eventually decided that opiates were not a long term solution and quit w/o professional help. Then,I ended up in insane asylums, twice, for anxiety and depression that are common and expected side effects of "detox".
The "professionals" in the hospitals told me that NO ONE could do what I did and quit, from as high a usage as I did, w/o professional help. WTF do they know. I know I did it.
So, after about 8 years of going drug free, I was no longer able to be functional w/o "using" again. So, I use opiates daily. I cut the pills I get (Nucynta 50mg) into quarters and try to limit myself to a quarter of a pill twice a day. I average about 3/4 of a pill per day (37.5 mg). The max allowed dose is 600mg so I'm way under the dependence, tolerance, and withdrawal envelope.
Anyway, my way of dealing with what some consider a lifestyle not worth living is to joke about it and poke fun at my drug usage and the disease. I think I'm winning.
So, folks are free to disagree with anything I say because all of my thoughts are clouded in the fog of opiates, ha. On the plus side I'm living every abusers dream as my doctors will give me virtually whatever I want. I do, though, keep a log of every fraction of a pill I take so I know exactly how much I am using. This way I can see trends and I'm not fooling me or my doctors about how much I use.
Be thankful that you beat the cancer into remission. Some diseases "keep on giving".
Cheers,
Gus
The opinions in this post are my own. My comments are directed to those that might like an alternative approach to those already espoused.There is the right way,the wrong way,the USMC way, your way, my way, and the highway.
"I'm impatient with stupidity. My people have learned to live without it." Klaatu-"The Day the Earth Stood Still"
"You can't handle the truth!"-Jack Nicholson "A Few Good Men"
"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. The Marines don't have that problem"-Ronald Reagan