by Bill n Robi » Fri May 04, 2018 10:09 am
I can relate, my 50th is coming up in October. I am mixed emotions about it too. I did not graduate - I escaped. Army right out of HS in 1968, I got to see things and places that others couldn't imagine. It was a real break from my past, 1 of 3 defining points in my life. Went to one 15 years ago, saw a few people but no real contact as I didn't know most of the people that came. Looking at the user accounts on 'classmates' - 250 people - I recognize 20, liked about 5.
Being adopted, only child , not having family connections I pretty much grew up a loner and self dependent. Never really kept in contact with the few HS friends I had, work friendships were hard as I never connected with outside activities that other people did. Wonder why the FBI Unabomber task force interviewed me?
Busted trust, used and abused, giving others free rent in my head, taken advantage of...
I see all my 'faults' when I am at a gathering, especially a large one. I really like to be quite and alone, enjoying the solitude. My wife is a very social butterfly and I am the hanger-on. Not that I don't like people, I do, but it takes me time and I think others are looking for something more instantaneous.
As a therapist once told me "you make 6 figures with just a high school diploma and think you are a failure? You need to start thinking better of yourself". Easier said than done but at this time in my life I am happy with who I am, I don't need to get my self worth from what others think of me, I have had a good life, great wife, awesome teardrop, retired, no kids, no bills - do I really need to back to a time I was unhappy and alone?
I have 1 more month to respond to the invitation...
2015 T@G Max
2015 Toyota Tacoma TRD Sport 4 Door Short Bed