Dad Jokes

[alaska teardrop]

Son: "Dad, why are you always talking to yourself?"

Dad: "I'm the only one that will listen."

[Tom&Shelly]

Why couldn't the green chili practice archery? He didn't habanero.

Love the Southwestern flavor of that one!

Tom

[Tom&Shelly]

There's a law that you have to turn your headlights on if it's raining in New York State.

I'm in New Mexico; how the heck do I know if it's raining in New York?

Tom

[Tom&Shelly]

Why is Saturday better than Friday?

Friday is a weak day!

Tom

[rjgimp]

Accidentally rubbed some ketchup in my eye. Now I have Heinzsight.

[TimC]

Hilarious guys!

Hope you don't mind that I'm stealing some of these so I can get some eye rolls during Thanksgiving dinner this year.

[Tom&Shelly]

Hilarious guys!

Hope you don't mind that I'm stealing some of these so I can get some eye rolls during Thanksgiving dinner this year.

Absolutely Tim! Stealing is the sincerest form of larceny!

Besides, I got most of mine from Youtube.

Tom

[rjgimp]

I'm avoiding exercise.

I am in the fitness protection program.

[rjgimp]

If the whole world held hands around the equator, most of them would drown.

[bdosborn]

Whats the difference between a phlebotomist and a urologist? A phlebotomist pricks your finger.
Bruce

[rjgimp]

How do you tell the sex of an ant? Put it in water. If it sinks, it’s a girl ant.

If it floats… buoyant!

[rjgimp]

I used to be a banker but then I lost interest.

[Tom&Shelly]

We were in the grocery store yesterday and found spam (the real thing, not the internet type) came out with a product that's twice as healthy!

They made the cans half as tall.

Tom

[DJ Davis]

Teach wolf to meditate and it becomes aware wolf.

[Tom&Shelly]

Just got a birthday card and when I opened it, tons of rice came out.

It was from my uncle Ben.

Tom