Death of a Coleman

[cuyeda]

This is not a pleasant post, and has been a while to get enough courage to post this. If you are a Coleman collector, and have a weak stomach you may want to hit the next button. It is with heavy heart that several Colemans have met a demise. To get a better visual look at this previous post of my starter collection I found in my dad's garage:
http://www.tnttt.com/viewtopic.php?f=49&t=48468

Unknown to me my dad was a secret Coleman collector of sorts. He would buy a few lanterns at a time at the swap meets. I never knew! Recently I wanted to retrieve the lanterns we used as kids when the family went camping. Well, I found a few, and then some more, and probably there are more that I have not found that my dad stashed away. My dad has recently shown signs of increased dementia/alzheimer's. We are learning daily the effects of this disease.

When I find the lanterns, I ask my dad if I could have it, he says yes go ahead. I explain that I will restore them and bring it back for him to have, and hope that he would give me a few to keep. I proceeded and finished restoring about 5 of the lanterns (my learning curve). I must say I did a fantastic job! Broke it all down, de-rusted the tanks, sandblasted, primer, painted, baked, polish etc... Even bought a few vintage globes to add to it. Couldn't wait to show my dad.

Then I got a phone call that my dad wanted ALL his Coleman stuff back, and accused me of taking it without permission. I reminded him that he gave me permission to have it, and that I was restoring it to bring it back to him. After a course of several days I brought back every item he gave me (a few more than what is in the pictures). He stated he had about 20 or 30 lanterns, and that I didn't bring back all of it, and he wants me to return all I took. I showed the picture (posted) of what I actually took, and that if he had more, it's because I haven't found it yet. It's very possible that he does have more lanterns/stoves/camping gear that is hidden in many of the storage units on the property.

I was hoping that my dad would recognize the great restoration job I did. He stated that these were different lanterns and were not his. I reminded him that I restored all, and indeed were the same lanterns. After a few days my dad became increasingly irritated thinking that I did not return all his stuff, and that I withheld giving some back. He then smashed all the lanterns you see in the picture + 2 more with an axe. It is sad that the disease of dementia can get the best of a person. We are learning daily how to cope with future situations.

If you have Colemanitis, and have amassed so many that you can't possibly use, you need to share them with the world before you get to possessive of your material belongings. I can provide you an address to send your extra stuff that will be loved and appreciated.

Thank you for listening.

[campmaster-k]

Very sorry to hear of your troubles Cliff. Life is hard to understand sometimes. Good luck to you.

As for the lanterns --- they are just stuff. And they are not rare no matter what anybody on ebay says.

[Corwin C]

I feel your pain. My family has a history of dementia and I have witnessed firsthand how difficult it can be to deal with a loved one that isn't thinking or remembering clearly. I have watched as relationships in my own family have stretched to the near breaking point and there is so little that anyone can do. In our case it is literally hundreds of antique Indian and Harley Davidson motorcycles, welders, and machine tools. Mostly parts and pieces, but there are quite a few examples of valuable history among them. About twenty years ago we had a problem with theft and Grandpa is convinced that it is still going on (despite evidence to the contrary.)

May God bless you and your family with understanding and comfort, and may you all be able to enjoy the moments of clarity when they occur. Our prayers are with you.

[wagondude]

For you and your family.

Bill

[satch]

Sounds like you lost more than just lanterns.
My thoughts/hopes are with you Bro

[Woodbutcher]

Cliff I read your post this morning. I didn't know what to say. There are few things in the world worse then watching a loved one slip away. Especially when you try so hard to help. But know that this is not how he would react without dementia. I watched a close Aunt go through this and there were times she knew that she was not in control anymore and it really scared her. Lanterns can be replaced. PM me an address and a wish list and I will check my inventory. I've got more then I can use.

[eamarquardt]

Neither you or your dad can take the lanterns with you so remember the fun you had restoring them, how nice they looked when you were done, and imagine how pleased with you and proud of your efforts your dad would have been if he weren't so ill.

There are lots of lanterns out there just waiting for a restoration. If you want to do it again it's all possible.

Gus

[cuyeda]

Thanks for the nice thoughts. Although sad about the lanterns demise, it is only stuff. My concerns for my dad will be tested I know. There are real concerns for his safety and those closest to him. I did have fun restoring the lanterns, a sense of accomplishment. There will always be more stuff to find in yard sales. It's only a hobby! I only wished that I had taken pictures of each after the rebuild, oh well. I still have a few lanterns and a couple stoves of my own. Hmmm and then there are the 20+ lanterns that my dad accused me of taking still stashed away somewhere.

Hah! Learned my lesson, won't ever ask for anything again, especially not a lantern.

@Woodbutcher, thanks for your generous offer, but it was just a tag line for my shameless selfish humor to send stuff given an address.

[Woodbutcher]

No worries, the offer stands if you want. Good luck going forward.

[DragonFire]

It seems your Dad took more than an axe to the lanterns...he took an axe to the memories, and to your heart.

I'm so sorry this happened to you. He cannot help it, and I know you know that. But it hurts just the same. You spent a lot of time, energy and love on restoring those lanterns and showing your Dad what you did...thinking he would be amazed and proud of his son taking care of the family camping stuff like that instead of treating it like junk...instead he destroyed it. Something like that happened to me once too. But the memories of the good times and when your Dad was healthy will always live with you. No matter what happens, he cannot change the happy times you and your family shared when you were kids.

Take care, and remember you are not alone in this. You did the right thing, but he is too ill at this point to appreciate what you really did. In fact, he can't even understand what happened anymore.

[canned o minimum]

Being a bit ignorant about dimensia, I can only relate to my own fathers demise with cancer and relay to you that the GOOD memories are the ones you will hold on to and live for !

Good thoughts bein sent yer way ! Live well, Love much,Laugh often !

[DragonFire]

So true about the good memories. Thanks to an awesome member of this forum I had the occasion to return to the small town my Dad lived in when I was a kid. I went there to buy my tow vehicle. I test drove it, drove it through the driveway of the high school I thought I would be attending, drove by the old Rexall pharmacy I went into as a kid in the 70's..saw where the old A&W was..where my Dad used to take us...even the laundry mat and the burger stand where we got soft serve cones after washing the clothes. I was tempted to head up the hill and check out the house where my Dad had lived and where my sister and I spent our summers...but I was test driving a vehicle and not supposed to be sight seeing.

Going back to this little town brought back so many memories..even going into Safeway (the same one, only remodeled and expanded) and looking across the street and seeing a sign for an auto body shop that was owned by the son of one of my Dad's friends (who had worked at that same Safeway..) it was so amazing. The memories of being a kid, being with my Dad..returning to the town he loved to buy a Ford Ranger, which is the vehicle he had, but a 1/2 ton '75...it was amazing.

My Dad died suddenly in 1979. Of a coronary aneurism. He was 37. He never knew me beyond being a 5'7" 87 lb ugly duckling. I was just short of 14. But going 'home' Saturday...that was priceless.

My Dad taught me to camp..yes, he really disliked trailers. I think he would have been ok with teardrops. As I was driving home in my 07 Ranger I felt his presence..I felt he was smiling down on me and telling me he was happy that I understood the lessons he had tried to teach me..and that I "got it"

I think you will find that you will remember your Dad as the guy who taught you camping..and so much more. You still have him..but remember how he was before his mind started to change. That is who your Dad really is. And you will always have the memories of sharing good times with him. I certainly have great memories of camping with my Dad..or I sure wouldn't be here now. Try to forget the 'bad' things now and remember all the awesome things he taught you. He doesn't really understand things now...he's confused or he would never think you stole the family camping stuff. If he was still himself he would understand what you have really done..and some day, when he can no longer tell you, he will 'get it'...

Hang in there. You are lucky you have had your dad all these years. I am lucky I didn't have to go through this with mine. There's a bit of a trade off..and it just is what it is.

Take care, and know you are not alone. We all have sorrows, aging parent issues, etc. But we all have a common bond of the love of camping..and here, camping with CI, cooking in the DO, lighting Coleman lanterns...and traveling in tiny trailers. We are your friends...through tough times and fun times.

Hope to see you at IRG or the Dam!

[IndyTom]

Cliff,
My mom suffered with gradually worsening dementia for several years before her death. Thankfully it seldom turned anything near violent, but at one point my brother and I were sued for "inappropriately spending her money". Thankfully her lawyer finally realized what he was dealing with before we went to court. But now, five years after after her death, those memories are faint, and her delightful times of lucidity are what remember most.

I really applaud your attitude about the lanterns, while they would have been precious to you since they were your dad's, they were just stuff, and it is your memories that really important. You and your dad will be in my prayers.

Tom

[nrody]

So sorry to hear that your Dad is suffering from dimentia. I understand as mom is in a nursing home with dimentia and if rapidly changing.
I have picked up a couple of lanterns lately getting ready for IRG. They need work but they are yours if you want them. pm me so we can make arangements for you to pick them up, we live relatively close so you can check out my tear too. God bless you and your family.
Nancy

[CliffinGA]

Cliff I've read this and just wanted to give you some thoughts from my wife's father who had dimensia and Alzheimers. If your mother is still with you and is his primary care giver then try and give her time away from your dad to take care of her and don't let her let her health get down, we're going through that now with my MIL right now because of this. Take any guns out of the house when he's gone and let him think they were stolen and the axe also, just to be safe. I was nearly shot by my FIL because he didn't remember I was his future son in law , thankfully I out weighed him by 150# and was faster. I took the guns and gave them to my wifes brother for his son when he gets older. Its hard and its a rough disease for all who love them and our prayers are with you bud!

Cliff & Sheri