I don't mean to make light of this, especially with some members who are going through medical angst, or someone they love is.
But you know me.
I went to the doctor today, and all I can say to the wonderful folks here from Great Britain, Australia, Germany, Finland, Estonia, Zimbabwe...
Stay THERE! You want NOTHING to do with the doctors HERE!
He determined that I have a groin pull, not a hernia, but he made this diagnosis during the last 8 seconds of my 1-hour visit.
Since I checked "smoker" on the exam chart...and he's an internist specializing in pulmonary medicine...I had to do this breath test like 4 times, breathe from a nebulator for 6 minutes, do the test 4 more times, and then take a chest x-ray.
He also offered to stick his finger up my a** for no extra charge, but I passed.
Because call me crazy, but what does ANY of this have to do with the ache near my b****?
He just told me not to "aggravate" it, and that was it. Does this mean no sex? (My wife is used to a good 30 seconds of my loving a month.) Does this mean no long walking? No heating pad? No teardrop building?
SHOULD I KEEP MY HAND DOWN THERE 23 HOURS A DAY TO MAKE IT FEEL BETTER!? (This always worked for me in the past.)
It actually means NO helpful advice, and God knows what Blue Cross will be paying for this medical wisdom.
I found this doctor by looking at my provider list, and picked the one with the most Jewish-sounding name. So another myth may be busted here. And call me prejudice, but Achmed Mohammed didn't stand a chance. Lilly Gonzalez DID, but then I thought. with my luck, she's probably really fat.
So this doctor says my lungs are fine, and I think he must be nuts. I go back next week to hear the blood results, but the way this visit went, I'm really tempted to blow it off.
For God's sake, I shaved down really nice for this visit and wore my very best underwear, but the guy hardly LOOKED at my groin.
Maybe he was jealous.
Bad news for some--I'm gonna live
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