I spent the afternoon buying varnish. It shouldn't take so long.
From my Mom's house, one can go ten minutes West to a True Value in Owego, or 20 minutes East to a Lowes in Vestal. I made the mistake of going West.
A guy in his 20's in a True Value T-shirt asked if I need help. I asked about varnish. He said "you mean like stain?" I found the varnish on my own. They had one can of Varathane semi-gloss. The spaces on either side, where I presume satin and gloss would be, were empty. OK, semi-gloss is what I wanted. I'm normally a Helmsmen man, but I just saved 20 minutes driving, so what the heck!
Got the can to Mom's home, opened it, and it was milky white. I mean, maybe it was whitewash or something. Not sure what happened, but I suspect the can was left in an unheated warehouse over a New York Winter.
So I drove back to Owego. Loudly returned the can explaining that I thought it had been left in their warehouse last Winter. The guy who I returned it to, the same fellow who didn't know what varnish is, asked if I wanted an exchange. I'm afraid my laughter may have been cause for offense among the five 20-somethings running the store.
One said she thought it was supposed to be white, and turned clear when on the wood. Another thought it cleared up when it was stirred. One of the guys said he doubted it had been frozen in their warehouse. The manager (I guess) said, they would give me my money back. I didn't wait for them to open it, I left for Lowes.
BTW, I had to pay a $.45 "paint recovery fee" at Lowes. Probably did at True Value too. If I'd noticed, I'd've made them take it off, as I intend to take the items varnished, and probably the can, back with us to New Mexico.
So, any ideas why the Varathane was white? It really is not supposed to be, is it? The obvious theory is the kids who ran the hardware store--you know, the ones who don't know what varnish is, or about its properties--had actually left it in an unheated warehouse over Winter. Another, more interesting theory is that someone else did, and then, when they needed varnish realized the can was old, bought a new can, then returned the old one for their money back. Less likely is the label got switched somehow with whitewash, or white paint. It didn't smell like milk, and I didn't think to taste it, so we've lost that clue.
Any other ideas? Bonus points for humorous possibilities.
Tom
by Capebuild » Wed Sep 07, 2022 11:36 am 
