Dad Jokes

[Tom&Shelly]

Anyone interested? Stealing from other sites on the interwebs encouraged!

I'll start:

A house framer's son asked his dad if trees poop. The dad told him that's where #2 pine comes from.

Tom

[rjgimp]

I'm in!


The other day the wife asked if I had seen the dog bowl.
"No... I sure haven't, dear. Is he any good at it?"

[Tom&Shelly]

I'm in!


The other day the wife asked if I had seen the dog bowl.
"No... I sure haven't, dear. Is he any good at it?"

Tom & Shelly

This morning a friend called and said he'd been mauled by a bear, and it had eaten his entire left side.

I can't believe he's all right!

Tom

[rjgimp]

My great uncle was responsible for bringing down 7 German planes in WW2....worst mechanic in the Luftwaffe...

[Ottsville]

My kids got on my Dominos app and ordered 25 pizzas.

The wife said "throw them out."

Now I have no idea who's going to eat all that pizza.

[rjgimp]

Two guys walk into a bar.

You'd think the second one would have ducked...

[Tom&Shelly]

Today I took advantage of the nice weather and repainted our garage doors. I used my step-ladder. Never knew my real ladder.

Tom

[Ottsville]

Today I took advantage of the nice weather and repainted our garage doors. I used my step-ladder. Never knew my real ladder.

Tom

one of my favorites!

[rjgimp]

People are often shocked when they find out I am not an electrician.

[Tom&Shelly]

What did the right eye say to the left eye?

Between you and me, something smells!

Tom

[rjgimp]

People who can't distinguish between etymology and entomology bug me in ways I cannot put into words.

[Tom&Shelly]

Perseverance pays off.

When my Grandfather joined an anti-aircraft unit they said he'd never shoot down a German plane. Last year he proved them wrong!

Tom

[Tom&Shelly]

I'll have to stay home tomorrow: My wife threw out my church socks.

They were holey.

Tom

[DJ Davis]

Why couldn't the green chili practice archery? He didn't habanero.

[bdosborn]

Have you heard about the chocolate record player? It sounds pretty sweet.