Dad Jokes

[Tom&Shelly]

I came up with some dad jokes about heating registers. They're grate jokes, but they aren't very good.

Tom

[philpom]

Sometimes Bigfoot is confused with Sasquatch, Yeti never complains.

[Tom&Shelly]

Did you know that if you took all of the cable out of the Brooklyn Bridge, and laid it end-to-end, the bridge would fall down?

Tom

[Tom&Shelly]

A long forgotten manufacturing company these days, in emergencies World War II airmen counted on the reliability of Maxwell parachutes: "Good to the last drop!"

Tom

[Tom&Shelly]

Shelly and I take pre-packaged cake mixes along camping. We mix them with powdered eggs and bake in a dutch oven. I showed Shelly the instructions that say not to lick the mixing bowl. She said that was so one didn't get salmonella from the eggs and since we used powdered eggs it didn't apply.

"No", I insisted, it's still very important that you don't lick the mixing bowl!

"Why?" she asked.

"Because I want to lick it!"

Tom

[DJ Davis]

I typed in "Missing medieval servant" into my computer. It responded with "Page not found."

[Tom&Shelly]

Shelly is particular about the quality of the bandaids in our first aid kits. She made some painful cutting remarks about generic-brand plastic bandaids.

Tom

[Tom&Shelly]

I went into a magic forest to cut firewood. Found a likely victim, but it said "wait, I'm a talking tree!"

"Well," I replied, "you're going to dialogue!"

Tom

[rjgimp]

Where do bad rainbows go...? To PRISM!

It's a light sentence.

It gives them time to reflect...

[rjgimp]

My deer hunting spot is so secret the deer can't even find it!

[Tom&Shelly]

Can it be a Dad joke if it's actually true?

Somewhere in Southern Pennsylvania (or maybe Maryland or West Virginia) there is a sign in a cemetery: "Positively no digging without a permit"

What do you suppose necessitated that sign?

Does the permit have a check box: deposit or withdrawl?

Tom

[Tom&Shelly]

At a store in Tennessee the other day we overheard a dad threaten to take his mis-behaving kids to the Memphis Childrens Museum.....AND DONATE THEM!

Tom

[Tom&Shelly]

Evidently, I was totally wrong in my assumptions about where gas station coffee comes from....
 


Tom

[Tom&Shelly]

We're expecting a big snow storm here in New Mexico, so Shelly and I checked our supplies. We have a bottle of Taylor Port, and a bottle of Sandeman Fine Tawney Port, so we're okay. Any port in a storm!

Tom

[Tom&Shelly]

Just heard the Restore down in Albuquerque is going to start selling lumber! No piece over two feet long, because "We saw it first!"

Tom