Dad Jokes

Things that don't fit anywhere else...

Re: Dad Jokes

Postby DJ Davis » Wed Feb 26, 2025 2:50 pm

Ah! It's working again!

For those of you that travel on cruise ships and really like desserts, here's some helpful info:

In the Cayman Islands, you can expect to pay about $1.35 for a slice of coconut cream pie. In Jamaica, you'll find Gizzada, a hand-held fried pie which has a soft buttery crust filled with creamed coconut for $1.25. In Haiti, there's coconut flan for $1.15. In Puerto Rico look for the local dessert called Cazuela, a fruit, nut, and coconut pie for around $1.40 a slice. In Aruba, ask for Tert de preimu at $1.20. In Barbados, another hand-held fried pie called Conkies for $1.20 each.

So, there. I give you the Pie Rates of the Carribean. :whistle:
DJ

They say "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." I've noted that if it doesn't kill you, it waits patiently for another opportunity.
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Re: Dad Jokes

Postby rjgimp » Mon Mar 03, 2025 12:49 am

My wife asked me if I could clear the kitchen table.

After three tries and a running start, I finally made it!
-Rob


I hope to make it to a Procrastinators Anonymous meeting someday...
just as soon as the steering committee gets around to scheduling one!
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Re: Dad Jokes

Postby Tom&Shelly » Wed Mar 05, 2025 4:56 pm

Dad was a cowboy who swore to Mom he'd never use a Colt.

She was partial to Smith & Wessons.

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Re: Dad Jokes

Postby Tom&Shelly » Thu Mar 06, 2025 7:37 pm

For some unknown reason, these days no one seems to answer my friend's phone calls. What did Sam Likely ever do to them?

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Re: Dad Jokes

Postby rjgimp » Fri Mar 07, 2025 3:23 pm

The steam shovel was a groundbreaking invention!
-Rob


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Re: Dad Jokes

Postby DJ Davis » Sun Mar 09, 2025 6:04 pm

"Lance" is an uncommon name nowadays, but in medieval times people were named Lance a lot.
Last edited by DJ Davis on Sun Mar 09, 2025 6:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Dad Jokes

Postby DJ Davis » Sun Mar 09, 2025 6:08 pm

Heard at a crime scene:

Officer: The victims were dismembered and sacrificed on an alter made of antlers.

Detective: Dear God!

Officer: Most likely, Yes.
DJ

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Re: Dad Jokes

Postby DJ Davis » Sun Mar 09, 2025 6:13 pm

My wife just confessed to me that she broke my favorite lamp. I don't think I'll be able to look at her in the same light ever again.
DJ

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Re: Dad Jokes

Postby DJ Davis » Thu Mar 13, 2025 11:51 am

Some things to think about if you ever decide to eat a clock. It's very time consuming, especially if you go for seconds.
DJ

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Re: Dad Jokes

Postby DJ Davis » Thu Mar 13, 2025 11:54 am

I once tried to "Walk like an Egyptian." I had to go to a Cairo practor. :NC
DJ

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Re: Dad Jokes

Postby DJ Davis » Sun Mar 16, 2025 8:52 pm

Geology rocks, but geography is where it's at!
DJ

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Re: Dad Jokes

Postby Tom&Shelly » Tue Mar 18, 2025 3:09 pm

The weather bureau just issued a severe dust storm warning for our area. But I looked out the window and I didn't see anything. :thinking:

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Re: Dad Jokes

Postby Tom&Shelly » Tue Mar 18, 2025 3:24 pm

The Institute of Unfinished Research has just concluded that 6 out of 10 people.

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Re: Dad Jokes

Postby rjgimp » Wed Mar 26, 2025 1:45 am

The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is... ironic.
-Rob


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Re: Dad Jokes

Postby Tom&Shelly » Thu Mar 27, 2025 2:30 pm

A fisherman goes out on the ice and begins cutting a hole with his ice saw. Suddenly he hears a voice from above:

THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.

Shaken, but undeterred, he moves over ten feet and begins cutting. Again he hears:

THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!

Once again, he moves over ten feet and begins cutting. Once again he hears:

THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!

Trembling, he asks, "Are you God?"

"NO," the voice answers, "I AM THE ICE RINK MANAGER."

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