I can't believe I did this

[Ira]

Wal-Mart.

75% off ANYTHING to do with Christmas.

Took my wife and kids there for other reasons, we saw the deals, and I couldn't resist:

Bought a $79.99 pre-lighted artificial tree for $19.99... ten $2.99 lighted candy canes for 75 cents each... and 4 boxes of cool C7 lights for the tree for $1.50 each.

I'm so ashamed, because this planning ahead thing is not like me at ALL.

But if I don't drop dead before December 25th, 2007...I'm all set.

[dwgriff1]

If you ever had a reason to live, Ira, this is it.

dave

[Miriam C.]

Ira, I am sorry but it comes with age. I absolutely do not go shopping the first few days after Christmas.

Sounds like you had fun. Are you going to give Chevy a run for his money next year.

[NightCap]

I don't think you went too far. A good sign you went too far would be the D.E.A. showing up at your door because of a spike in electricity usage.

[GHOSTSSX]

I don't think you went too far. A good sign you went too far would be the D.E.A. showing up at your door because of a spike in electricity usage.

What???? DEA??? IS Ira using Christmas lights inappropriately????

CHUCK

[Juneaudave]

I can't believe that Ira's community allows Walmart pre-lighted Christmas trees!!! Maybe he really bought a designer, illuminated, holiday centerpiece...

[GHOSTSSX]

I'm surprised thay allow a Wal-Marts!!

[Ira]

HAH!!! YOU GUYS ARE FUNNY!!!

But you have no idea how prophetic you actually are:

Wal-Mart actually had to fight for 2 years to finally open that location. It's right at the "border" of Coral Springs and an even MORE obnoxious city named Parkland.

All of the white people living here had visions of drug dealers, single mothers and people of color INVADING their wonderful neighborhood and causing mass traffic jams.

WHY THE HELL DO I STILL LIVE HERE!? I HATE IT!!!

Oh--now I remember. 78 degrees right now, New Year's Eve.

[Nitetimes]

WHY THE HELL DO I STILL LIVE HERE!? I HATE IT!!!

Ira- Count yourself lucky. I talked to my cousin that lives in a condo down there some where, might be near Lauderdale. He can't even have a pickup or a SUV where he lives. Talk about a crock. No older vehicles either.

[Jst83]

I can't believe that Ira's community allows Walmart pre-lighted Christmas trees!!! Maybe he really bought a designer, illuminated, holiday centerpiece...

He can probably get away with it because it's inside I'm sure they wouldn't allow it outside. Not in the yard at-least.

[Ira]

The solution is clear. You should run for city counsel.

Do you want to hear how BIZARRE this thing is, and how deeply it runs? I can't even BEGIN to explain the nuances of it, but every time I try to really learn about it, I'm met with either a brick wall, or I vomit from disgust:

Prior to the city being incorporated in the 60s (by the way, Johnny Carson came diwn here to promote lot sales and I think he got a piece of the action), Coral Ridge Properties was the main player. They owned all of the land and then parceled it out as they saw fit.

Well, when the city finally WAS incorporated, the only way this could happen was to make Coral Ridge Properties a "consultant," with something like a 99-year contract, getting millions a year for doing nothing, and having final say over EVERYTHING that goes on here. So all of these deed restrictions can only be rescinded by Coral Ridge Properties' whimsy--like me not being able to park my TD outside. It has nothing to do with city ordinance and what the commisionners want to do.

I wish there was a civil engineer on this site who could really explain it all, because none of this makes any sense to me --but it's the law of the land here.

[Laredo]

Wait, a civil engineer? Now I'm confused.

Coral Ridge Properties?

Please tell me they're not a subsidiary of Coral Ridge Ministries...

[angib]

Q. What company bought Coral Ridge Properties in 1966?

A. Westinghouse bought Coral Ridge Properties for $36,000,000 so it could use Coral Springs as its urban laboratory to test new products. It built three Electra Lab houses with such innovations as central air conditioning, intercom, central vacuum, home sewage disposal systems, sensor lights and an electric car.

(from the 2005 Coral Springs Trivia)

That 'urban laboratory' is kinda spooky - like a suburban Area 51........

Andrew

[Juneaudave]

Ira...I can safely say...you need a community planner, not a civil engineer. Funny about Johnny Carson, though. It reminds me of an experience.

I was in Big Sky, Montana (which is a big time destination ski resort now), when the builder, Chrysler Corp., decided to get out of the ski resort business. To get out, they liquidated all the condos and property that went into the resort at an auction.

To make a long story short(er), the aution had spirited bidding. Condos were selling at or above the appraised price. Then the ex-Governor (Guy) started bidding on one of the premier condos. There was not a single bidder against him...and if I remember right, he got that condo for about $39,000 bucks (well, well, below the bidding pice for similar condos) and people cheered after the hammer fell.

Maybe the point of all this is that if you are a smuck...you run with the pack and get what you get. If you are one of the exclusive few...you set the rules and assure your interests are first.

Funny Coral Springs even has a Walmart...it can't be in the interest of the chosen few.

[Ira]

Andrew--you're amazing with these facts. And you're right.

And here's a story about one of those prototype Westinghouse houses:

You may remember me mentioning an older bar buddy that I have/had, who has more money than God and a few years ago sent me $5,000 just for the hell of it. He started developing Alzheimer's, so maybe that will ring a bill as far as my past post go.

Anyway, his brother owned one of those houses brand-new, right off Sample Road. And when he went to sell it I don't know how many years later, guess what?

Turns out that he never paid for electricity in all of those years. That it was somehow still listed/direct-connnected/who the hell knows HOW to explain it...that it was electric-free as one of those prototype homes. And when it was sold to a "regular" guy, it was never corrected.

The brother has more money than God TOO (they co-own Gateway Insurance down here), and if memory serves me correctly, he MAYBE had to pay like 200, 250 bucks for 20 years of utility service, because it was the utility company's fault.

The rich just keep getting richer.