Bogus tools, tecniques etc...shop humor.....

[Guy]

Doug, please get me 500 feet of shore line for tying up a kayak, And 2 gallons of muzzle blast before we go hunting.

[Big Dave]

Back in high school shop class we would send someone to the building trades class to get the hydraulic brick bender. We could bounce them back and forth a few times by telling them that the other class was screwing with them. "How else could you make an arched brick doorway?" and "Make sure you get the hydraulic one, the manual one is a pain in the ass."

[Ron Shaw]

I used to work on computers at an army post, and on the work orders where we had to list what corrective action was taken to resolve the probem I, on more than a few times, put down "Reconfigure the power circuit". That finaly caught the eye of the higher up's and I was promptly chewed out. They said you idiot you are not supposed to be fooling with the power circuits on these computer's. My reply was, "You mean I am not supposed to plug the dang computer back up, if it is unplugged from the electrical outlet!!"
They left me alone after that.....

[fornesto]

I used to work in a large commercial contractor warehouse in college. When you'd sweep the floor everyday, you'd pick up a million drywall screws. We had an electro magnet sweep to get 'em and we'd toss 'em in a 50 gallon drum. I showed up when the drum was 90% full and was asked to "inventory the screws". I'd literally count them for 10 minutes, sorting the 1" from the 1.25" from the 3/4", etc. when someone would distract me and I'd forget what number I was on. After an hour, I fond something more productive to do. It turns out we just gave 5 lb. buckets of these screws to the carpenters to take home. They weren't worth sorting - not at union wages.

"Fluorescent bulb stretcher/bender"

[Rick Sheerin]

When I used to work in auto repair shop, along with the legitimate repairs, we would tell the more gullible customers that their sphincter valve needed to be tightened so they wouldn't burn so much gas. We would also offer to change the winter air over to summer air in their tires, free of charge, of course!

[doug hodder]

When I was in college...had a field geology class with a professor that would toss samples to students to have them identify when in the field and ask them "what is it?"...answer wrong and you looked like a fool...I had been working in the industry in the summers and knew some of the BS that goes on...He tossed me one, I had no idea what it was...told him it was an "Indian Love Stone"...he said "what?" I told him, you know, an "Indian Love stone, just another F'in rock"...he was an old oil guy, and was testing me to see what I'd learned while working...we did get to be good friends after that. doug

[Joseph]

Sea bat extinct? Say it ain't so!

I don't know for certain, but I'm pretty sure it went the way of the Chief's initiation and the various crossing the line (Equator, Arctic/Antarctic Circle, etc) ceremonies. Can't hurt the poor widdle saiwors feewings now can we?

When I joined the Navy it really was an adventure...

Joseph

[Bobgorilla]

Sea bat extinct? Say it ain't so!

I don't know for certain, but I'm pretty sure it went the way of the Chief's initiation and the various crossing the line (Equator, Arctic/Antarctic Circle, etc) ceremonies. Can't hurt the poor widdle saiwors feewings now can we?

When I joined the Navy it really was an adventure...

Joseph

I went through the Arctic Circle ceremony in 1979 and then got to give the ceremony a couple of times. It was actually more fun the first time!