Global Warming Hah!...this is much more alarming!!!!

[doug hodder]

Dave...what you are experiencing is a sudden vortex release, causing the animal to be lighter than air momentarily...Dr. Percy T Whipsnake PhD, LSMFT, noted physicist, mathematician and all around gad-a-bout...addresses this situation in his treatise, "K9's, food and their relationship with gravity" Wordy, but a good read...Doug

[dhazard]

But Doug, what can we do?

Dan...Immediately write to Ted Kennedy...increased gravity was directly responsible in John Jr's demise and look at what the ravages of increased gravity has done to Ted...I'm sure he is on board with this global situation and already has a "blue ribbon panel" investigating it...Doug

Doug I was going to contact Ted Kennedy, but I started thinking…
Maybe he is behind this, maybe it his behind, after all the mass of his behind must be affecting the gravitational field of the Earth. Think about this when he was much smaller back in the early 60 things were fine we had no problems with gravity. Then that fait-filled night in 1969 when the first gravity anomaly occurred as he was driving Marry home. It made his car jump into the bay, it even distorted time. Just think about how long it took for him to report the distortions…

NO Do not try and contact Ted Kennedy…

We must think of something

[Mary K]

... In laypersons terms this is known as a gravity cavity....when you remove the clamps and straps, you will find that this void will have repaired itself...

And thanks for you question, just that much closer to informing the world, one mind at at a time....

Doug

Doug, You were absolutely correct in your prediction!! The gravity cavity has been filled with the higher than usual gravity and the skin is firmly stuck to the TD.

Your adept skills, plethora of knowledge, and verbal adeptness to splain the complex theory of what can only be labeled as Gezergravity, truly, truly amazes me

Mk

[srfrcrux]

[Miriam C.]

... In laypersons terms this is known as a gravity cavity....when you remove the clamps and straps, you will find that this void will have repaired itself...

And thanks for you question, just that much closer to informing the world, one mind at at a time....

Doug

Doug, You were absolutely correct in your prediction!! The gravity cavity has been filled with the higher than usual gravity and the skin is firmly stuck to the TD.

Your adept skills, plethora of knowledge, and verbal adeptness to splain the complex theory of what can only be labeled as Gezergravity, truly, truly amazes me

Mk

Too bad it doesn't only effect ole Gezers.

[doug hodder]

Doug I was going to contact Ted Kennedy, but I started thinking…
Maybe he is behind this, maybe it his behind, after all the mass of his behind must be affecting the gravitational field of the Earth. Think about this when he was much smaller back in the early 60 things were fine we had no problems with gravity. Then that fait-filled night in 1969 when the first gravity anomaly occurred as he was driving Marry home. It made his car jump into the bay, it even distorted time. Just think about how long it took for him to report the distortions…

Dan I recently contacted Dr. Whipsnake regarding your comments about Sen. Kennedy...his response was that it is not uncommon for large bodys of mass to actually create their own gravity and in fact can actually create their own satellites.

In Sen. Kennedys case, liquor bottles, but what was most interesting was that in addition to that, it was also mentioned that a very intense vortex, in combination to a Doppler shift, that may be under coreolis force can actually stop time and also will not allow light to penetrate this vortex...I might also add that after that postulation that he said "Dude, I'm so freaking high!!!"

I'm beginning to speculate that the good Doctor is much less of an authority than I had originally thought...Still waiting for Jeff Spicoli's (excuse me, Sean Penn) response to my E-Mail....

Mary Jo Kopechne, was unavailable for comment....

Doug

[Lynn Coleman]

Very entertaining.

Lynn

[doug hodder]

Lynn....just remember, you also have a K9 family member....they are especially susceptable to the ravages of gravity....watch for the signs, and be aware....you know...what appears to be laying on the floor, couch, etc....call their names, and all they do is lift their heads and look at you, if that is the case, the vortex can be broken with treats.... food appears to be one of the alternatives to this adverse condition...help them battle this condition..."let sleeping dogs lie" I think not!!!...next thing you have is a door stop....I tried to talk to the good Dr. Whipsnake concerning this abberation...but couldn't hear what he was saying for the Pink Floyd playing in the background...I'll try later, I know he is doing some serious research....Doug

[bledsoe3]

I guess it just depends on who you determine to be the authority....

I'm currently soliciting specific celebrities to support this cause...Oprah might, depends on what diet she's on...Kirstie Alley (sp?) is definate maybe...Fats Domino, (is he still alive?)....Nicoll Richie is right out, Joan Rivers, a definate yessss....Fatty Arbuckle would have, but died a long time ago...doug

Doug, I haven't heard back yet but I did talk to a rep. of Rosie O'Donnell (who is clearly an authority). The rep told me Rosie has some good conspiracy theories on the subject. She believes the government is behind the whole thing. Or Donald Trump.

[doug hodder]

Jim....thanks for posting that, unfortunatley Dr Whipsnake was busted and called me to post bail....I ignored the message, Crap...not again.. but he did indicate that Rosie was interested, and while I was also interested in her participation, was unable to arrange a low boy with a Barcalounger to get her up to the meeting with the local powers that be...permitting and all, you know the routine....I'll check with CalDot about it later...

Trump is really a viable participant....and he appears to have really controlled the whole gravity thing with his comb over. While the increase of gravity has pulled his follicles to the back of his head, he manages to bring them forward and swirl them around in a very believable fashion (with no movement), this only supports the fact that the "celebs" can combat this situation. We at the Increased Gravitational Institute are looking forward to his expertise in how to cover our sorry bald heads....Doug

[sledge]

Makes me feel better about myself....... I thought it was Just Me.

[caseydog]

This just in from the White House:

"My fellow Mercans. It has come to my tension, that thar is a disturbation of the earth's gravitationing, that is causing a lot of distressing in our land. This gravity situation has been caused by the previous administration of Bill Clinton's, and is in no way my fault. However, we have studied the problem, and have stragisized this plan to fix it. I am asking congress to approve a ten percent tax cut for people in the top ten percent of wage earners. I call this the ten-for-ten gravitational tax cut. In addition, we are looking for a country to invade that prefera...prerfel...preferingler... we hope has nothing to do with the problem. This is what we call Operation Garvitation Freedom. Some critics may say that these ideas makes no sense, but we all know they hate America. Do not be worrisome, we wil complish this mission, and win the war on gravitationery extremism. Thank you, and God bless me."

CD

[Elumia]

Last night at 2:00 AM my dining room light fixture succumbed to the extra gravitational force. It could no longer attain it's position of attachment to the ceiling. In fact, it just split apart, the heavier glass segments crashed to the table and broke, leaving just the canopy affixed to the outlet box.

Man, that was freaky, and scared the crap out of me. I checked the USGS site - no earthquakes. Hmmmm


Mark

[angib]

Dave...what you are experiencing is a sudden vortex release, causing the animal to be lighter than air momentarily...

It's definitely not just dogs that this happens to.

A lot of the lads at work were so worried about the workbenches just floating up in the air that they took to leaning, or even sitting, on them to keep them pinned down.

Just the same thing happens to the bars in pubs, but here you'll find that it's a much lower level of vortex release - it's only necessary to rest one of your elbows on a bar to keep it held in place - which is terribly convenient as it leaves your other arm free to lift the beer glass to your lips.......

Andrew

[martha24]

Lynn....just remember, you also have a K9 family member....they are especially susceptable to the ravages of gravity....watch for the signs, and be aware....you know...what appears to be laying on the floor, couch, etc....call their names, and all they do is lift their heads and look at you, if that is the case, the vortex can be broken with treats.... food appears to be one of the alternatives to this adverse condition...help them battle this condition..."let sleeping dogs lie" I think not!!!...next thing you have is a door stop....I tried to talk to the good Dr. Whipsnake concerning this abberation...but couldn't hear what he was saying for the Pink Floyd playing in the background...I'll try later, I know he is doing some serious research....Doug

Doug, I'll have to correct you on the part where dogs become door stops, at least in my house the gravitational pull seems to put my dog right where we walk and can be easily tripped over. Sometimes when we step over her it seems to break the vortex and she is no longer on the ground right in mid process of stepping over her and we get a second chance to get snagged in the gravitational pull and end up on the floor ourselves. Of course if we were to end up on the floor we wouldn't be laughing. More than one person has just about killed themselves this way. Its especially dangerous when it happens in the hall in the dark and the dog can't easily be seen.
Thanks for bringing this dangerous condition to our attention, surely the government should get right on it, since they seem to be so good at solving problems.
Martha