Merry Christmas Moon-do not view if you are easily offended

[Sonetpro]

He must be real.
He sends me the CC bills.

[Mike C.]

I think it's funny..
Second of all, Santa is a figment of our imagination.
Third, if you still believe in Santa , you should be committed.

There's no Santa???

As a result of an overwhelming lack of requests, I am pleased to present a scientific inquiry into Santa Claus.

1) No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT, there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

2) There are 2 billion children under 18 in the world. BUT, since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle certain bad children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.

This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a pokey 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run (tops) at 15 miles per hour.

4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.

5) 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.

Recent intelligence seems to suggest his existence, but actual proof remains to be verified.

Somewhere there was an engineer with WAAAAAYYYYYY too much free time on his hands.

[Classic Finn]

I think it's funny..
Second of all, Santa is a figment of our imagination.
Third, if you still believe in Santa , you should be committed.

There's no Santa???

Of course there is.. I happen to live in the same Land as he does.

Yes there is a Santa just look at my Avitar. Plus its a proven fact that Santa Lives in Finland way up North in a land named Lapland. And just outside the city of Rovaniemi.

If you non Santa believers tell me there is no Santa then I can also say the world isnt round.

Here is proof.

http://www.santatelevision.com/lapland/index.html

Here is his live cam inside and outside of his headquarters.

http://www.santaclauslive.com/main.php? ... &kieli=eng



PS

I think the above is only a scientific explanation and the calculations above are only that and have no validity. And its from an individual or committed patient who is now under the influence of psychological drugs given to him for treatment of his disbelief in Santa.

So dare you state otherwise.

His helpers are stationed worldwide to relieve him from being overworked and relieve the strain on his Reindeer. So wherever you may live. Be careful as to what you say about Ol Father Christmas he can hear you and also see you.

So Happy Holidays Everyone.
From Santas Headquarters

Classic Finn & Family
Finland

[CAJUN LADY]

There's no Santa???

Of course there is.. I happen to live in the same Land as he does.

Yes there is a Santa just look at my Avitar. Plus its a proven fact that Santa Lives in Finland way up North in a land named Lapland. And just outside the city of Rovaniemi.

If you non Santa believers tell me there is no Santa then I can also say the world isnt round.

Here is proof.

http://www.santatelevision.com/lapland/index.html

Here is his live cam inside and outside of his headquarters.

http://www.santaclauslive.com/main.php? ... &kieli=eng



PS

I think the above is only a scientific explanation and the calculations above are only that and have no validity. And its from an individual or committed patient who is now under the influence of psychological drugs given to him for treatment of his disbelief in Santa.

So dare you state otherwise.

His helpers are stationed worldwide to relieve him from being overworked and relieve the strain on his Reindeer. So wherever you may live. Be careful as to what you say about Ol Father Christmas he can hear you and also see you.

So Happy Holidays Everyone.
From Santas Headquarters

Classic Finn & Family
Finland

I knew there was a Santa and his name is Finn Merry Christmas Finn!

[Benthosboy]

Santa Lives in Finland way up North in a land named Lapland.

Is that where Lap dancers are born?

Martyn.

[stoveman]

I think we all have a little too much time on our hands.

[Classic Finn]

Santa Lives in Finland way up North in a land named Lapland.

Is that where Lap dancers are born?

Martyn.

You,ll have to fly to Lapland as have your fellow Countrymen to see for yourself..The English are arriving by numerous flights to meet Santa and the magic of winter in Lapland.

Classic Finn

[Classic Finn]

I think we all have a little too much time on our hands.

You,ll learn the meaning of Living on Teardrop Time sooner or later.

[madjack]

I think it's funny..
Second of all, Santa is a figment of our imagination.
Third, if you still believe in Santa , you should be committed.

There's no Santa???

As a result of an overwhelming lack of requests, I am pleased to present a scientific inquiry into Santa Claus.

1) No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT, there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

2) There are 2 billion children under 18 in the world. BUT, since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle certain bad children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.

This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a pokey 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run (tops) at 15 miles per hour.

4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.

5) 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.

Recent intelligence seems to suggest his existence, but actual proof remains to be verified.

...there is a two word explanation to all of these objections to Santa Claus's existence, and it is MAGIC DUST ...it allows all to happen virtually simutaineously...in other word...we doan need no stinkin' science to 'splain Santa Claus..........
madjack

[tonyj]

. . . magic dust and the ability to work in the space/time continuum where conventional weight/speed/time limits don't apply. Some people think so 3 dimensional!

(To show how this concept works in our life everyday, just look how fast your paycheck disappears from your bank account. At that speed, Santa looks like a tortoise.)

And Santa does exist--I just passed him on the street corner hitting people up for change. He has to pay those elves somehow, and it ain't on his lofty stock market returns.

[toypusher]

there is a two word explanation to all of these objections to Santa Claus's existence, and it is MAGIC DUST ...it allows all to happen virtually simutaineously...in other word...we doan need no stinkin' science to 'splain Santa Claus..........

Have to agree here!! It's plain old FM............., well at least it's the M part!!!

[Nitetimes]

I don't know...he may not be around this year. See there was this guy in a red suit tryin' to get in my house last year and I kinda sorta filled him full of holes..... had steak for dinner that night too.....mmmmm good stuff... funny lookin' deer.

[Unkl Ron]

...there is a two word explanation to all of these objections to Santa Claus's existence, and it is MAGIC DUST ...it allows all to happen virtually simutaineously...in other word...we doan need no stinkin' science to 'splain Santa Claus..........
madjack

OK - I CAN believe in the Magic Dust explanation. That explains why are the cookies have been disappearing (I know the dog hasn't been eating them).

[Unkl Ron]

Somebody shot the whole concept... Got this in an e-mail..

[img]http://www.tnttt.com/gallery/image.php?image_id=30500[img][/img]

[Nitetimes]

That picture is priceless... I told ya I got him!!