Humor of the Day

[Jiminsav]

that's not political, that's just funny..now, if they were to substitute Bill Maher for Sarah Palin, then it would be political.

[halfdome, Danny]

that's not political, that's just funny..now, if they were to substitute Bill Maher for Sarah Palin, then it would be political.

We disagree. Danny

[Sonetpro]

Two Middle Eastern mothers are sitting in a cafe chatting over a plate of tabouli and a pint of goat's milk.

The older of the mothers pulls an envelope out of her bag and starts flipping through photos. And they start reminiscing...

'This is my oldest son Mohammed. He would be 24 years old now.'

'Yes, I remember him as a baby' says the other mother cheerfully.

'He's a martyr now though' mum confides.

'Oh, so sad dear' says the other.

¡And this is my second son Kalid. He would be 21'

'Oh, I remember him,' says the other happily, 'he had such curly hair when he was born'.

'He's a martyr too' says mum quietly.

'Oh, gracious me ...' says the other.

'And this is my third son. My baby. My beautiful Ahmed.
He would be 18, she whispers.

'Yes' says the friend enthusiastically, 'I remember when he first started school' '

He's a martyr also,' says mum, with tears in her eyes.

After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Muslim mother looks wistfully at the photographs and says....

'They blow up so fast, don't they?'

[halfdome, Danny]

Men and our "Nothing Box"

[rbeemer]

http://home.comcast.net/~singingman7777/SOY.htm

[Micro469]

Too Funny....(Almost true....)

http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=QsxV49pmnL8

[oklahomajewel]

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.'

With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.
I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings,tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the passion...
Dad she's pregnant.
Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.
In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.
Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.
Love, Your Son
Cody

P.S.. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my center desk drawer. I love you. Call me when it's safe to come home.

[Muggnz]

Pluh-ese Santa can I have a new tow vehicle for Xmas?

I promise to behave & never ever get caught speeding

http://wheels.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/10 ... c=wheelsa1

[Jiminsav]

http://www.snopes.com/photos/signs/dogheaven.asp

[Sonetpro]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1KFE1OLnOZw&eurl

[planovet]

New Wine for Seniors

California vintners in the Napa Valley area, which primarily produce Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir and Pinot Grigio wines, have developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic. It is expected to reduce the number of trips older people have to make to the bathroom during the night.

The new wine will be marketed as:

PINO MORE

[traveler]

Jack (age 3) was watching is Mom brest feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked, 'Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?'

[traveler]

Steven (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom goodnight. ' I love to so very much that when you die, I am going to bury you outside my bedroom window.'

[traveler]

Tammy (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elder lady, rather wrinkled, that her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, ' Why doesn't your shin fit your face?'

[Bristol Delica]

Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take from four days to four years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.


IanJ