by John T » Wed Oct 29, 2008 2:39 pm
Albert Einstein has some of the best quotes, ever.
You do not really understans something unless you can explain it to your grandmother.
Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invaribly they are both disappointed.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity and I'm not sure about the former.
The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.
If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut.
At any rate, I am convinced that he [God] does not play dice.
The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.
With fame I become more and more stupid, which of course is a very common phenomenon.
My favorite from Mark Twain:
Better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
It is by the fortune of God that, in this country, we have three benefits: freedom of speech, freedom of thought, and the wisdom never to use either.
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.
Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of congress. But I repeat myself.
Last week I stated that this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister and now wish to withdraw that statement.
Of all the animals, man is the only one that lies.
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light.
Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
Mark (& Cindi) 
