Rich,
It's been awhile since I've done any furniture refinishing. On the stripping sounds like you have gotten good advice. The only thing I would add is that with taking off finishes, it does make a difference what the original finish was. Some old finishes are easier to remove than others.
There are many ways to remove an old finish, some of them more difficult than others. Shellac and lacquer finishes are the easiest to remove, requiring only alcohol or lacquer thinner and a little muscle. The tougher finishes, paint and varnish, are more common; these are usually removed with paint and varnish remover. Oil, wax, and penetrating sealer finishes are less common; they are also removed with paint and varnish remover.
With making the wood lighter, I would try regular household bleach first. It isn't as powerful as wood bleach but does work amazing well.
Once someone left something damp on my wood parquet floor and it left a very noticeable black 3" spot.
The bleach took the black out and then I just had to add a little color back in and at that time there was only wax on the floor. For any wood bleaching that I have had to do, regular old Clorox (make sure it's fresh) has done the job. Test it where it won't show and keep and eye on it when you're doing it.
Personally one of the finishes I really like is Tung oil, probably wouldn't be any good for heat or dampness on table tops but the pieces that I have done with it some 20 plus years ago are still looking very good, more than I can say for a dresser I did for my son in a poly finish.
Also I would agree that Formby's products seem to be decent.
