Disaster in California

Things that don't fit anywhere else...

Disaster in California

Postby angib » Sun Oct 02, 2005 3:46 pm

(I saw this elsewhere and thought it worth repeating)

HOLLYWOOD POWER OUTAGE SENDS CITY INTO CHAOS
No Electricity for 26 minutes. 'This is Our Tsunami.'

By Joshua Gates
Actor, Photographer. Victim.

LOS ANGELES, CA, September 12, 2005 - Horror and disbelief swept through the greater Hollywood area this afternoon as a minor power-outage turned the city into a virtual war zone and local residents struggled to deal with the devastating aftermath.

The outage struck at 1:35 PM , during L.A. 's busy afternoon coffee and Pilates rush hour. Traffic lights fell dark, local gyms and sushi restaurants were without power for nearly 30 minutes and many businesses were illuminated only by the light of the sun and its blistering 78 degree heat. "It was horrible," said out of work actor and voice-over artist Rick Shea. "I was in a Jamba Juice on Melrose when it hit and the blenders simply shut down. A woman lunged for my Berry Lime Sublime and after that, well, it got pretty ugly."

In the ensuing panic, local radio stations broadcasted conflicting reports as to exactly which local businesses would be offering relief supplies. Almost 100 people flocked to the Starbucks at Santa Monica and La Brea only to find helpless baristas, no hot coffee and a totally meager selection of baked goods.

"My mother is 83 years old and we heard on the radio that this Starbucks was going to be up and running. If she doesn't get a venti Arabian Mocha Sanani, I don't know what's going to happen to her, I really don't," said Lucinda Merino of Los Feliz.

To make matters worse, those few people who did manage to get coffee were further thwarted by a total lack of artificial sweeteners on-site. "Sugar in the raw? Are you frigging kidding me?", sobbed avid salsa dancer, Enrique Santoro. "I'm on the South Beach Diet and my insulin levels are going to go crazy if I use this. Why isn't the rest of the country doing something?"

Deteriorating conditions will force authorities to evacuate the thousands of people at local Quiznos, movie theaters and upscale shopping centers, including the The Beverly Center, where a policeman told CNN unrest was escalating. The officer expressed concern that the situation could worsen overnight after patrons defaced multiple "So You Think you Can Dance" posters, looted a Baby Gap and demanded free makeovers en masse at a MAC cosmetics store during the afternoon.

At least 2,000 refugees, a majority of them beautiful, will travel in a bus convoy to Beverly Hills starting this evening and will be sheltered at the 8-year-old Spago on North Canon where soft omelets with confit bacon and Hudson Valley foie gras was being airlifted in by The National Guard.

Honorary Mayor of Hollywood, Johnny Grant told a group of embedded reporters at a Koo Koo Roo Chicken restaurant on Larchmont that, "The scope and scale of this disaster is almost too much to comprehend. Local carwashes are at a stand-still, the tram tour at Universal Studios has been on hold for almost an hour now and I've been waiting for a rotisserie leg and thigh with a side of greens beans for upwards of 15 minutes. This truly is our Tsunami."

"We want to accommodate those people suffering in the Beverly Center as quickly as possible for the simple reason they have been through a horrible ordeal," Grant said. "We need water. We need edamame. We We need low-carb bread," said Martha Owens, 49 who was one of the thousands trapped in the Beverly Center when the escalators stopped moving. "They need to start sending somebody through here."

Along miles of coastline, the power simply surged, causing writers to lose upwards of a page of original screenplay material, causing Direct TV service to work only intermittently and forcing local residents to walk outside and look helplessly at the Pacific from their ocean view decks. "I can hardly begin to put this experience into words," said longtime Two and a Half Men writer John Edlestein. "I was just getting into my rhythm and making some real headway on a scene where Charlie Sheen parties with a busload of female volleyball players when my Power-Book crapped out. I have nothing. Simply, nothing."

Delivering his weekly radio address live from the White House, President Bush announced he was deploying more than 7,000 additional active-duty troops to the region. He comforted victims and praised relief workers.

"But despite their best efforts, the magnitude of responding to a tremendous problems," he said. "The result is that many of our citizens simply are not getting the help they need, especially in the Hollywood Hills, and that is unacceptable."

Andrew
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Postby Gage » Sun Oct 02, 2005 4:57 pm

Aw man, I missed it :cry: And I thought it was my computer.

Have a good day.

8)
Me, I'm just hanging on and waiting for FEMA
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what a disaster~!

Postby oklahomajewel » Sun Oct 02, 2005 7:38 pm

:chicken: :chicken:


:drofl:
Some things are way over my head !! ...but it keeps me looking UP!
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Postby SteveH » Sun Oct 02, 2005 7:41 pm

What do you mean "Disaster in California"? California IS a disaster! :lol:
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Postby Gage » Sun Oct 02, 2005 11:01 pm

SteveH wrote:What do you mean "Disaster in California"? California IS a disaster! :lol:

Yea, but we don't have to know how to swim to live here. Or own a boat.

Have a good day.

8)
Think about it...
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Postby madjack » Sun Oct 02, 2005 11:54 pm

Gage wrote:
SteveH wrote:What do you mean "Disaster in California"? California IS a disaster! :lol:

Yea, but we don't have to know how to swim to live here. Or own a boat.

Have a good day.

8)
Think about it...


...untill ya slide off into the Pacific...they ya better know how to swim to that row boat :lol: ;)
madjack 8)
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Postby Kevin A » Mon Oct 03, 2005 1:36 am

madjack wrote:
Gage wrote:
SteveH wrote:What do you mean "Disaster in California"? California IS a disaster! :lol:

Yea, but we don't have to know how to swim to live here. Or own a boat.

Have a good day.

8)
Think about it...


...untill ya slide off into the Pacific...they ya better know how to swim to that row boat :lol: ;)
madjack 8)


Naw, we'll just hop on one of these big Redwood Trees :lol: :?
"Follow me, I'm right behind you"

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Postby Gage » Mon Oct 03, 2005 2:09 am

madjack wrote: ...untill ya slide off into the Pacific...they ya better know how to swim to that row boat :lol: ;)
madjack 8)
Naw, I live in the high desert. When that happens, my property will go up in value because I'll then have Beach front property. :lol: That's senior planning for the future. :thumbsup:

Have a good day.

8)
By the way Madjack, how you guys doing back there?
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Postby emiller » Mon Oct 03, 2005 7:00 am

8) As far as I can remember the Pacific Coast Highway has been in the same place my entire life, same distance from the beach to Hwy 1 it dosen't seem to change.
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Postby Rob » Mon Oct 03, 2005 9:55 am

Andrew--

That was GREAT!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:
Thanks for brightening my Monday morning. :lol: :lol: :lol:
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:peace:
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Postby Grandadeo » Mon Oct 03, 2005 5:20 pm

You'd think our own Normspeed could have seen this coming in his position of authority in Southern California and prevented such suffering an anguish for all the "Beautiful People," at least the ones on the west side. Oh the humanity!

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Postby Gus » Mon Oct 03, 2005 9:45 pm

[quote="and prevented such suffering an anguish for all the "Beautiful People," at least the ones on the west side. Oh the humanity!

Lee[/quote] :thumbdown: That aint what I call beautiful people! I think 'rednecks be beautiful :thumbsup:

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Postby Grandadeo » Mon Oct 03, 2005 9:59 pm

Gus, Today's word is F-A-C-E-T-I-O-U-S.

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Postby Normspeed » Mon Oct 03, 2005 10:55 pm

The power outage was rough. I mean, who the heck wants warm sushi?

But if ya wanna see a real SoCal disaster, just watch the freeways when it (gasp) RAINS!
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Postby Gage » Tue Oct 04, 2005 1:16 am

Norm, I stay clear away from them when it rains. It's bad enought on the city streets. So I just stay up here in the High Desert and watch the freeways on TV. They don't want people coming into a disaster area and looking around anyways. :lol:

Have a good day.

8)
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