by Tumbleweed_Tex » Mon Jun 28, 2010 3:18 pm
FREE CHOCOLAT
I've always had a special relationship with Mischief. Ever since I can remember, he has followed me around like a shadow. And I suppose it's no great surprise, looking back, to see that he changed, grew, and matured right along beside me. And somewhere, along about our fifteenth year...Mischief and I discovered females...at exactly the same time.
Cowboys, even those passing through mid-adolescence, are naturally astute at certain aspects of life. In my case, by 1972, Mischief and I had become quite skilled at talking ourselves out of trouble. So it seemed only logical, the first time we saw Becky Sue Abercrombe, we decided to try to talk ourselves INTO something for a change...namely, her heart. (What? This is a family show.)
Becky Sue moved to town in late summer, just in time to register for the coming school year, and cause a few instances of commotion at the local swimming hole. She was a real looker, and at 15 years old, was already built like a brick teardrop trailer. Word was she came from New York, or Baahhhston, or somewhere too exotic to mention. Irregardless, Mischief and I agreed...for a Yankee-gurl, she was finer than a two hundred dollar mare.
Mischief dared me. Never, ever, dare a cowboy.
My father had a brother...Clarence...but everyone called him Puss. Uncle Puss had a huge barn up close by the road, and that long-ago August, I took to hanging around down there...mainly because Becky Sue's folks had purchased the old Pearson farm next door.
One mornin' I spied her coming my way, and by design, busied myself hammerin' loudly on the barn door. I knew she'd stop...ain't a female alive who can pass up a big sign with magical words on it...not even a Yankee-gurl.
"What ARE you doing, cowboy?"
"Hammerin' up this sign for my Uncle Puss."
"Free Chocolat? Chocolate has an "e" on the end of it, silly boy."
(dammit Mischief...I TOLD you we shoulda looked it up)
"I didn't write it...I'm just hammerin' it."
"And what does it mean...where's this free chocolate?"
"In the barn here."
"Can I have some?"
I explained that my Uncle Puss, in his never-ending quest to get rich, and be quick about it, had decided to convert his old moonshine still into a commercial fudge-makin' machine. Since he wasn't quite sure how well the stuff would sell, he figured he'd make a big batch...which he did yesterday...let it age some…and startin' tomorrow, he'd give away free samples.
(That was the first time I'd ever seen lust in a female's eyes, and I was instantly hooked for life.)
"So, is there a chance a girl might get her free sample today?"
"Well...I suppose today WOULD be better than tomorrow...beat the crowd and all...but you'd have to be really brave."
"Brave?"
"Yeah...I probably shouldn’t mention it, but Uncle Puss has a guard horse in there..."
Becky Sue laughed nervously, and I, just as Mischief had taught me, kept the most serious of expressions.
"A GUARD horse?"
"Yes Ma’am...meanest old cuss in the county. Ain't good for ridin'...he's too mean. Ain't good for plowin'...he's too mean...bites and kicks and has no regard for human life.â€