by Tumbleweed_Tex » Mon Aug 09, 2010 4:51 pm
HURTS
Yesterday was not a good day.
While everyone involved (more she than me) will agree there is nothing more than a professional relationship between Renee and her antique cowboy hired help, I couldn’t help but feel slightly…agitated…when she took off for the weekend with this lawyer-type from downtown. Beamer, shiny shoes…you know the type…Dog says he smells girlish.
So, as is normally the case when I'm feeling empty, I seek therapy by creating something. Sometimes, I use text...other times, I use conventional building materials…and since the campground office upgrade is not quite finished...I ripped some cedar into thin strips, resisting the urge to test the integrity of the wood scraps against the back wall of the shop. Dog knew better than to say anything…
The laws of physics prescribe that 180 pounds, when centered on the second step from the top of a ten foot ladder, is relatively stable. But move that center of gravity outward by small degrees, and the stability factor begins to decrease. Add several deviations to the model, such as the weight of a pneumatic finish nailer, one air hose, and a seven foot section of rough cedar trim...plus the fact that my knees were aching as they usually do these days...(not to mention an unadmitted-semi-broken cowboy heart) and one can reasonably expect a live demonstration of one of those physical laws...the law of gravity.
I had sense enough to throw the nailer as far as possible as I fell. I had the presence of mind to kick the ladder away from me. I even thought of dropping the trim so that it would fall harmlessly onto the stairs. But some darn fool had placed the little air compressor at the very base of the ladder, a small detail which further ruined an already ruined day.
I was able to break the fall a little with my left hand and arm, which ever so slightly lessened the impact of my ribs on the top of the compressor. This crumpled my wrist, so it was NOT an even tradeoff. The air hose, which happened to be laying just right, came tight as the nailer flew outward, and acted like a large rubber band, bringing the small gun back towards me at high speed. I stopped it's momentum cold with my already swelling wrist. The ladder, well on it's way to a noisy but harmless collision with the hardwood floor in the far distance, was caught by the recoil of the hose, reversed it's course, and issued it's full falling fiberglass weight across the left side of my forehead.
But there IS some justice in the world. By design, the small piece of cedar fell on the stairs, bounced slightly, and became still...and never even considered joining its friends in causing me bodily harm. Oddly, I found little satisfaction in this fact.
I waited a full three seconds before trying to breathe, just to be sure that nothing around me was still moving...job safety IS, after all, number one. By slowly filling my lungs, I was able to somewhat ascertain through the pain that nothing in my side was broken. The left wrist, however, was questionable. But when, without warning, the air compressor kicked on automatically, and gave me such a start that I instinctively jerked and smashed that same wrist into the side of the toppled ladder, the question became irrelevant anyway. The pain turned the world gray-green for a few seconds, and the joint felt as if it had been injected with liquid lead.
But hey...at least now, I have something to occupy my mind...objectively trying to decide which hurts more today, my wrist, my ribs, the bump on my forehead, or what used to be my heart.
Renee is back, and she won’t let me up off her sofa. Of course, she’s not speakin’ ‘cause I didn’t call her from the hospital…
Tex
Tex
