Funny/interesting quotes you've heard...

[Nitetimes]

Give a man a fish he eats for a day . Teach a man to fish & he sits in a boat & drinks beer all day!!

Ya just had to go and let our secret out now didn't ya!!!

[fastED]

I don't know if anyone posted this one yet......

If you are not part of the solution, you are part of the precipitate.

[WarPony]

The last thing I want to do is hurt you but it's still on the list.

Always borrow money from a pessimest, he won't expect to get it back.

Money isn't everything but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

And finally, You're never too old to learn something stupid.

I got a whold bunch of these in an email, those were my favorites.

Jeff

[Dusty82]

A Mark Twain favorite of mine;

"All of the really great men are dead, and I don't feel so good myself..."

My grandfather occasionally came up with a gem.

"Son, you don't learn a thing the second time you're kicked by a mule..."

"If you're dumb enough to lay on the tracks, you deserve every car in the train..."

[Jiminsav]

Nothing runs like a deere, or smells like a John.

[Facemeltingly Epic]

Sign on the front door of an office supply store:

"Unattended children will be sold."



Andrea.

I've seen one outside the clubhouse at a race course that read "Unattended children will be given a puppy and a double espresso."

[Facemeltingly Epic]

"If the light stays on for more than 4 hours, call your electrician."

At least you don't have to call a doctor if you've had a light on for that long!

[Facemeltingly Epic]

When a woman once told Winston Churchill he was drunk, he is said to have replied: "And you, madam, are ugly. But I shall be sober tomorrow, whereas you will still be ugly."

I also recall that a woman once told Sir Winston, "If I were your wife, I wold poison your coffee." To which he replied, "If I were your husband, I would drink it."

[Rigsby]

One i use is,

You have got two hopes, NO hope and BOB Hope, and BOB is DEAD !!

[Woodbutcher]

"God gave men a brain and a penis, but only enough blood to run one at a time! Robin Williams

[starleen2]

“I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.â€

[sagebrush]

I would ask "What were you thinking", but it's obvious you weren't.
What do you have on....... your mind?

[Joe G]

I know nothing...I see nothing
-Sgt. Hans Georg Schultz

[len19070]

The best one I've heard for the Phrase "Ya can't take it with ya" was;

"I've never seen a Hearse with a Luggage Rack"

Happy Trails

Len

[Joe G]

Nothing beats planning like dumb luck.