Calling it quits and moving

[MountainBiker]

My wife and I have reached the point of just wanting to sell everything and move to a small town in the country. I work in a very stressful job, that has in the past affected my health. I have heart issues and have had two mini strokes. My wife is concerned that if I stay there it will just get worse. What we can't decide on is how we do this. My wife works for Home Depot, so can get a transfer. I have good job skills (millwright by trade) and work in sales, but can no longer handle a lot of stress. She just wants to sell and go, and let the chips fall where they may...I am more cautious and want to make sure we have all our ducks in a row before going...my question is this...have any of you tried this...and if so, how did you pull it off

[Arne]

While I have considered it, mainly because CT has high taxes and high housing costs, I decided that at my age I did not want to leave everything behind. It is congested here but most of the time I can work around rush hour traffic since I am retired..

You sound like you are escaping, which I can understand, but the best way is to be more attracted to an area you want to move it. Escaping for its sake alone can be a disappointing way to make a decision...

Could be a job change is all you need. But if you really want to move, think about weather, do you need a supportive community, cost of living, etc.

I know people who went 'rural' and couldn't deal with the solitude.... and moved back to civilization.

Do a lot of homework if you do move....

[rebapuck]

Arne is right. maybe you just need to change jobs. Small towns are great, but so many are on their way to being big towns.

If you like where you are, have friends and family close by, church and atletic groups.... All that's hard to re-establish somewhere else.

You know your job is stressful. So change that and see where you are.

[caseydog]

I'm in a similar situation. I live in the burbs on a flat prairie full of cookie-cutter houses and shopping centers.

However, like Arne mentioned, I don't want to move "away" from this, but rather move "to" someplace I'd rather be.

I am self-employed, which should make it easier to pick up and move, but if I sell the house I live in now, I won't be able to get financing for another one someplace else. That and other uncertainties are keeping me here, for now.

You do have one advantage -- a spouse with an income that can move with you.

I'd recommend you decide where you want to go, make plans for the move, figure out the costs, and establish a budget based on a lower income for a period of time. If you have a good plan, with a budget that goes out a good two years, you will find that the fears associated with making the change will subside.

CD

[Wimperdink]

I've done it 5 diff times.... Things have a way of working themselves out for me.... The only side affect is that now its in my blood and every winter I get the strongest urge to do it again. It feels good to leave all the crap behind. Maybe I'm just part gypsy. I find myself wanting *less*.

[stumphugger]

I live in what is considered "the country". It is a very small community and there are good and bad things. For instance, yesterday I had a dental emergency. We have a dentist, but no pharmacy. There is ONE pharmacy 17 miles down the road. I did not call ahead and had to wait an hour to get penicillin pills. I wasn't feeling too good and that town, while bigger still has very little to keep you busy for an hour.

Groceries cost more and are not as fresh. One small place I lived seemed to be the dumping ground for stale bread. Not here, but another similar sized place.

City people complain that there are no good restaurants. I guess that is a matter of taste. It is make your own fun. Most of us have outdoorsy hobbies.

It isn't always quiet. There are gunshots (target practice) sometimes a neighbor woman shoots her cannon off at a raccoon during the night. Watch Red Green? That opening sequence is realistic. Everybody has a dog or two or three. I live by a guy who raises roosters.

The County tells us that we will be the last priority in a disaster. We helped ourselves while the more populated area had the National Guard come in during a flood. The last one we lucked out and the power stayed on. Some of the PUD (power) guys were marooned here so they kept it going.

I'm used to it, anc probably would not do well in a bigger place. I like my commute, if there's 3 cars in front of me, that's a lot of traffic. If you don't need constant stimulation, can plan shopping trips to the bigger towns, and can entertain yourselves, you might be OK.

[nevadatear]

I live in a small town too, a really small town. We don't have a dentist except once per week, which means any other emergency is 100 miles away. There is NOTHING between us and Fernley, 70 miles away. The goods are it is 6 blocks to the center of town, the one grocery store and the post office. Bads are no movies, bad restaurants, (of the three), no department store, no where to buy socks or clothes, everything is a 100 mile trip to Reno, plus after yesterday, I could go postal on the post office any time (UPS driver will drive all over town to deliver a package to me, but it something arrives with the wrong p.o. box (that is all we have) or addressed to my street address, back it goes to the sender with no notification). I do like it, but we will move to Reno sometime in the next 5 years to be closer to the grandkids.

[Oasis Maker]

The overriding point that I'm getting from your post is that transformation is coming in one way or another - and that is inspiring.

Whether you remain local or not, it sounds like you're transforming your life from the inside out. Location is just logistics. Still, I always count to 10 and think big decisions through. Impulse can be deceptive, but those long slow well pondered decisions are like roots planted in fertile soil.

Keep us informed. There's a lot of this going around as people are reassessing priorities in their lives.

Scott

[steve smoot]

I've done it 5 diff times.... Things have a way of working themselves out for me.... The only side affect is that now its in my blood and every winter I get the strongest urge to do it again. It feels good to leave all the crap behind. Maybe I'm just part gypsy. I find myself wanting *less*.

We have moved, on average, every three years. That's like ten times in 30 years. The wife says this is one of the reasons she can not take it anymore. She knew I was going to sell and she did not want to continue moving, so she left me and bought her own place. If you are looking to be single, keep on moving.

[queeniejeanne]

If you are thinking it, it will become yours, sooner or later.

31 years ago my husband and I quit mid management, stable jobs. just quit. and came to branson, a town of 1300. We have never regretted it in any way. I grew up moving around the country with my family, but Dennis was born and raised and lived in the same house until we married (he was 27). He like to have crapped himself to death the first weeks.
A friend helped us start a business and we sucked moss off rocks. We had to go across to the store to make change for a five....if we made 10 dollars we were excited...winter here back then was not the time to start a business but if you want to do something you must bust your butt to do it right.

If you don't try; you'll never know if you would have made it or failed.

Nothing is etched in stone, except your tombstone, you can always make another change if you see you hate the country or the life without glitter....

From one who has done it.................Queenie Jeanne

[Wimperdink]

I've done it 5 diff times.... Things have a way of working themselves out for me.... The only side affect is that now its in my blood and every winter I get the strongest urge to do it again. It feels good to leave all the crap behind. Maybe I'm just part gypsy. I find myself wanting *less*.

We have moved, on average, every three years. That's like ten times in 30 years. The wife says this is one of the reasons she can not take it anymore. She knew I was going to sell and she did not want to continue moving, so she left me and bought her own place. If you are looking to be single, keep on moving.

Harsh statement. My wife likes to travel.

[Fenlason]

Life is too short to have a job that you don't love.. and of course it is worse if one's job threatens to make one's life even shorter.

I can't speak to the moving... Short of my time in the Marine Corps.. I have lived within 10 miles of where I grew up. My wife.. except for the first 10 years of our marriage has lived on the land she grew up on. [we are just a different house].

[Oasis Maker]

I've done it 5 diff times.... Things have a way of working themselves out for me.... The only side affect is that now its in my blood and every winter I get the strongest urge to do it again. It feels good to leave all the crap behind. Maybe I'm just part gypsy. I find myself wanting *less*.

We have moved, on average, every three years. That's like ten times in 30 years. The wife says this is one of the reasons she can not take it anymore. She knew I was going to sell and she did not want to continue moving, so she left me and bought her own place. If you are looking to be single, keep on moving.

Ouch, Steve. Sorry to hear about your separation from your other post. You are obviously hurting right now, but this scenario may not apply to "MountainBiker's" life.

Scott

[doug hodder]

I've done it...gave notice...sold the house the next weekend, at my price, and 1 mo. later was gone. Live up in the woods now....it's a lot of work living in big trees. I also bought the new house sight unseen...just a pic. Doug

[Miriam C.]

I spent my life moving. We left Lawrence KS (KC job) and came to Joplin. Now Mike was born here but moved away. He loves it here and I could move even further out if I could. Small town with two very good hospitals, and a University. It works for us.

Won't matter where you live if you don't dump the stress. Maybe some counseling to learn to dump all that....then move to the lake..