A big city lawyer went duck hunting. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence.
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked the lawyer what he was doing.
The lawyer responded, “I shot a duck and it fell into this field, and now I’m going to retrieve it.â€
Teardrops n Tiny Travel Trailersor t n ttt for short (tnttt.com) |
Humor of the Day
by planovet » Tue Nov 23, 2010 5:50 pm
7 degrees of Blonde
FIRST DEGREE
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang
at 2 in the morning. The very blonde wife picked up the phone,
listened a moment and said 'How should I know, that's 200 miles
from here!' and hung up.
The husband said, 'Who was that?'
The wife answered, 'I don't know, some woman wanting to know
if the coast is clear.'
SECOND DEGREE
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices
a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up.
She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, 'Hmm, this
person looks familiar.'
The second blonde says, 'Here, let me see!'
So, the first blonde hands her the compact.
The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, 'You dummy, it's me!'
THIRD DEGREE
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her,
so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment
unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him
in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry.
She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so,
she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.
The boyfriend yells, 'No, honey, don't do it!!!'
The blonde replies, 'Shut up, you're next!'
FOURTH DEGREE
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.
She proudly says, 'Go ahead, ask me, .. I know 'em all.'
A friend says, 'OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin ?'
The blonde replies, 'Oh, that's easy. it's W.'
FIFTH DEGREE
Q: What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
A: 'Is it mine?'
SIXTH DEGREE
Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA Freshman,
sat in her US Government class. The professor asked Bambi
if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about.
Bambi pondered the question; then, finally, said, 'That was the
decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the
Delaware .'
SEVENTH DEGREE
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house
ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and
reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the
radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby, was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash,
the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop
and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands,
she moaned, 'I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the
police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!'
FIRST DEGREE
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang
at 2 in the morning. The very blonde wife picked up the phone,
listened a moment and said 'How should I know, that's 200 miles
from here!' and hung up.
The husband said, 'Who was that?'
The wife answered, 'I don't know, some woman wanting to know
if the coast is clear.'
SECOND DEGREE
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices
a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up.
She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, 'Hmm, this
person looks familiar.'
The second blonde says, 'Here, let me see!'
So, the first blonde hands her the compact.
The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, 'You dummy, it's me!'
THIRD DEGREE
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her,
so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment
unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him
in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry.
She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so,
she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.
The boyfriend yells, 'No, honey, don't do it!!!'
The blonde replies, 'Shut up, you're next!'
FOURTH DEGREE
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.
She proudly says, 'Go ahead, ask me, .. I know 'em all.'
A friend says, 'OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin ?'
The blonde replies, 'Oh, that's easy. it's W.'
FIFTH DEGREE
Q: What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
A: 'Is it mine?'
SIXTH DEGREE
Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA Freshman,
sat in her US Government class. The professor asked Bambi
if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about.
Bambi pondered the question; then, finally, said, 'That was the
decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the
Delaware .'
SEVENTH DEGREE
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house
ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and
reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the
radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby, was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash,
the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop
and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands,
she moaned, 'I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the
police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!'
Mark (& Cindi) Visit our website: Little Swiss Teardrop
I was wondering why the water balloon was getting bigger... and then it hit me.
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planovet - The Cat Man
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