by Nitetimes » Tue Jan 17, 2006 4:57 pm
Strange Metaphors from Student Essays
1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
3. She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.
4. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
5. McMurphy fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
6. Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.
7. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.
8. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
9. He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
10. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
11. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
12. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the EastRiver.
13. Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.
14. The door had been forced, as forced as the dialogue during the interview portion of "Jeopardy!"
15. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
16. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
17. "Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving like a college freshman on $1-a-beer night.
18. Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter."
19. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
20. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.
Rich

-
The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to
keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves
against tyranny in government.
- Thomas Jefferson -
Personally, I carry a gun because I'm too young to die and too old to take a butt kickin'.