Weird stuff of the day

[gman]

>Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old
fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home. You want it, you take it". For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too untrusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed the ign to read: "Fridge for sale $50". The next day someone stole it.

>>Caution! These people Vote

>>While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent
which direction was North because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the North?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the East, (and has for sometime), she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff"...

>>She ALSO votes

>>

I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center One day I
got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was
open. I told him,"The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a
week." He responded,"Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end
the call quickly, I said, "Uh,Pacific" . . .

>>He ALSO votes!


My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we
overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn
she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a
convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving". .

>>She ALSO votes!
>

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car. It's designed to cut
through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.

>>My sister ALSO votes!

My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were
discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier
multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount...

He ALSO votes!


I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring
attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain
rip out every time she turned her head?" I explained that a person's
nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head
is turned...

My friend ALSO votes!

>>I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to
the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up.

She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?". . .

>>SHE ALSO votes!

[gailkaitschuck]

THIS explains why we have our current political administration...

All these people voted.

Gail

[Steve_Cox]

THIS explains why we have our current political administration...

All these people voted.

Gail

Teardrop Mamma you were quick on that one!!

Steve

[Ira]

Gail, Steve...

If that was ME expressing those sentiments, they would have my b***s for lunch here!

So thanks.

[Geron]

At cardiac rehab at the end of each session There is a 5 min. cool down on the treadmill.

One day a lady was finishing her session with her 5 min. cool down. She was running the tread mill at what looked like 3 mi. per hr. Nurse asked her why she was walking so fast on her cool down.

Reply: "It takes a lot longer to finish if you walk slow."

She can't find her way to the polls to vote

[Nitetimes]

Homeland security won't be a problem, just klik here
http://users.chartertn.net/tonytemplin/FBI_eyes/

[bledsoe3]

Gail, Steve...

If that was ME expressing those sentiments, they would have my b***s for lunch here!

So thanks.

Ira, I believe those are called rocky mountain oysters.

P.S. Did you ever cook those for your wife?

[gman]

Recently, my redneck neighbors invited me to a party. Here was our
conversation:

"Hey dude! Where are you man? We're having a great party over here. Why
don't you come on over and join us?"

I replied, "Man, I'm not feeling so good. I think I'm gonna stay right
here."

"Well, hey. What'cha got?" they asked.

"I got a case of diarrhea," I responded.

"Well hell.. bring it along. These fools will drink anything!"

He votes too.

[gman]

Carlsbad, New Mexico, retains a law making it illegal under certain
conditions for couples to have sex in a parked vehicle during their lunch
break from work. The car or van must have tightly drawn curtains to stop
strangers from peeking inside while the activity is taking place.

[gman]

A man calls home to his wife and says,
"Honey I have been asked to go fishing at a big lake up in Canada with
my boss and several of his friends. We'll be gone for a week.
This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been
wanting so would you please pack me enough clothes for a week and set
out my rod and tackle box. We're leaving from the office and I will
swing by the house to pick my things up. Oh! Please pack my new blue
silk pajamas."

The wife thinks this sounds a little fishy but being a good wife she
does exactly what her husband asked.
The following weekend he comes home a little tired but otherwise looking
good.

The wife welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish?

He says, "Yes! Lot's of Walleye, some Bluegill, and a few Pike.
But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to do?"

The wife replies "I did, they were in your tackle box."

Women will ALWAYS outsmart men . . .
Send this to other smart women and as an alert to try to educate men. . .
--

[Larry Messaros]

My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were
discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier
multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount...

Hmmmmm, that would mean that if you had bought 10 cases you would have got all the beer free??

[gman]

This could work

SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT

A young man named Paul bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100.00.
The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. When the farmer
drove up the next day, he said,"Sorry son, but I have some bad news...
the donkey is on my truck, but he's dead."
Paul replied, "Well then, just give me my money back."
The farmer said, "I Can't do that. I went and spent it already."
Paul said, "OK then, just unload the donkey anyway".
The farmer asked, "What are ya gonna do with him?"
Paul said, "I'm going to raffle him off."
To which the farmer exclaimed, "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"
But Paul, with a big smile on his face, said "Sure I can. Watch me. I
just won't tell anybody that he's dead."
A month later the farmer met up with Paul and asked, "What happened with
that dead donkey?"
Paul said, "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece
and made a profit of $698.00."
Totally amazed, the farmer asked, "Didn't anyone complain that you had
stolen their money because you lied about the donkey being dead?"
And Paul replied, "The only guy who found out about the donkey being dead
was the raffle winner, when he came to claim his prize. So I gave him his
$2 back plus $200 extra, which is double the going value of a donkey, so
he thought I was a great guy."

[gman]

Old Farts' Quiz


01. After the Lone Ranger saved the day and rode off into the sunset,
the grateful citizens would ask, Who was that masked man? Invariably,
someone would answer, I don't know, but he left this behind.
What did he leave behind?____________

02. When the Beatles first came to the U.S. in early 1964, we all
watched them on The __________________ Show.

03. "Get your kicks, ___________________."

04. "The story you are about to see if true. The names have been
changed___________________."

05. "In the jungle, the mighty jungle, ________________."

06. After the Twist, The Mashed Potato, and the Watusi, we "danced"
under a stick that was lowered as low as we could go in a dance called the
"_____________."

07. "N_E_S_T_L_E_S", Nestle's makes the very best _______________."

08. Satchmo was America's "Ambassador of Goodwill." Our parents shared
this great jazz trumpet player with us. His name was
_________________.

09. What takes a licking and keeps on ticking? _______________

10. Red Skelton's hobo character was named __________________ and Red
always ended his television show by saying, "Good Night, and
"_______________".

11. Some Americans who protested the Vietnam War did so by burning
their____________.

12. The cute little car with the engine in the back and the trunk
in the front was called the VW. What other names did it go by? ____________
&
_______________.

13. In 1971, singer Don MacLean sang a song about, "the day the music
died." This was a tribute to ___________________.

14. We can remember the first satellite placed into orbit. The
Russians did it. It was called ___________________.

15. One of the big fads of the late 50's and 60's was a large plastic
ring that we twirled around our waist. It was called the ________________

[toypusher]

Could not get 10, 12, or 13 Must be my CRS acting up again

[Steve Frederick]

Recently, my redneck neighbors invited me to a party. Here was our
conversation:

"Hey dude! Where are you man? We're having a great party over here. Why
don't you come on over and join us?"

I replied, "Man, I'm not feeling so good. I think I'm gonna stay right
here."

"Well, hey. What'cha got?" they asked.

"I got a case of diarrhea," I responded.

"Well hell.. bring it along. These fools will drink anything!"

He votes too.

Almost choked on my lunch!!