by starleen2 » Sat Sep 10, 2011 9:38 pm
Jeff Foxworthy explains to us that the best material for a comedian is true stuff. An example of this is when a man told him, "We swore that if we ever met you, we had to tell you about the time we went to visit my wife's family for Thanksgiving, and while we were there, her brother got his nipple bitten off by a beaver."
"I said, 'You have my attention.' That's not really something you can walk away from at that point. You're almost required to say, 'How did that happen?' They were happy to tell the story, too. Apparently, the brother and his friend were driving in the truck, a beaver ran out in front of them and they hit it and it landed in the ditch. They decided that they had to get this beaver to take to the taxidermist, 'cause we all know how pretty it looks on a Thanksgiving dining room table holding that turkey up!
So he went down into the ditch, found the beaver, picked it up by the tail, and said, 'Look at it. It ain't cut up, or bloody, or nothin'!' And apparently, 'Nothin' is the word that brings a beaver back to consciousness. The animal then lurched forward and bit his nipple off. Did not bite it, bit it off. O-F-F, off. That is a new kind of hurt right there. It is so rare that I was at a loss for words; the only reply I could come up with was, 'I bet that's the only time in history the headline of the paper could include the words 'beaver' and 'nipple' and nobody would be offended by it.'"
I'd be afraid to pick that thing up!
