My Patricia

[Senior Ninja]

Two weeks ago tomorrow my Patricia went to be with our Heavenly Father.
It is so lonely and painful; I barely know what to do. My short term memory is gone.
I'm finding myself in places with no idea why. I make multiple trips to shop more that
one store at a time. I still try to remember things so I can tell her what I've seen or done.
There is no comfort from her family. I guess they are glad to be rid of me. They didn't
tell me about the funeral until I asked. What a shame they disrespect her memory and
their elders. She loved me with all her heart and I loved her like no one before. That
should be enough for them or all they need to know; but it's never enough.
Steve

[Sandyman]

Very sorry to hear of your loss. May the peace of the Holy Spirit be with you. Go slow and take care of your self as I am sure that would have been Patricia's wish for you. Rest is important for you now. You are in my prayers.

Sandy C.

[S. Heisley]

Dear Steve,

Please accept my condolences on your loss. Shock and sorrow make everyday living difficult.
Many people don't recognize that anger is a way to manage pain but it does anesthetize.
So, if you need to be angry, find something that you can put your energy into.
Even something as simple as swatting a fly swatter a dozen times in a row can help
There is much grieving to be done but eventually, there will be acceptance and healing.

She is free. It might help to take her favorite flowers to a lake, river, or creek
and then float them, sending them on their way after you tell her what you never got to say.
She'll hear you.

[bc toys]

Steve all I can say is I'm sorry for your loss When I lost a lady of mine I went out and set next to her grave site at night and talk to her for hours and after about a week or more it got better it was like she told me it was time for me to move on with my life [know that was not what you was wanting to hear] but you will hear it from her also. overtime I go back I make sure to go see her and talk to her even took my wife out to meet her. Well Steve you hang in there it gets better over time.

[Forrest747]

When I lost Lisa I had no clue what to do. She really was the gorilla glue to the place. I had to deal with my grief in a very private way. I felt I needed to be strong for the kids. Thank goodness that she had everything in a day planner and it didnt take much to figure it out. Plus the kids were such great help. There were times, i would dream that I just sat around and had those sleepless in seattle moments. There is the cliche it will get better and all those other words people say. breathe in and out do things. i still think of her every day and i see her every morning at the breakfast table in 4 great kids.

As far as the family thing I dont know what to tell ya.

[Ratkity]

Gentle hugs to you.

Luv,
Ratkity

[Verna]

Steve:

I'm so sorry for your loss. I can tell you two were definitely in love.

Grief does really strange things to your mind. Your short term memory will return....give it time. Be sure to keep pen and paper with you and make lists. Or, if you use electronic means, keep that device next to you and keep lists. Make notes. Sometimes it's the only way to remember what you need to do next.

It helps me to write down how I feel. No one else has to read it. You don't even have to read it again. It just helps to pour out to the paper why you feel the way you do.

Someone told me once that your loss really doesn't get better....it gets different. I agree. You'll still hurt, but you'll remember the good times more than the bad times.

Good Luck

[PKCSPT]

Sorry, can't imagine what you are going through. Now you have an angel in heaven to watch over you, hopefully one day that will bring you comfort.

[Shadow Catcher]

I can not really imagine losing my wife, but I know it could happen. I do know about grieving however having lost four relatives including my dad and a couple of friends with in a six week period. Grieving is a process and it will take as long as it takes. Get help in what ever fashion you can or feel might help, professional a therpapist specializing in grieving or a pastor or just a friend who will listen.

[rebapuck]

Some get upset when they see you cry, but I find crying a great catharsis, And you are allowed.

My condolences for your loss.

[Roly Nelson]

I'm sorry to hear of your loss, Steve. I know what you are going though, as I lost my sweet wife of 56 years, about 3 years ago. Our doctor told me that the best thing I could do to press on in life, was to get off of the couch, get out of the house every day and get my "people-fix". And that is exactly what I have done ever since that fateful day. You will find that being alone, doesn't always mean the same as being lonely, and as time goes on, believe me, it will get better. Memory loss is difficult to deal with. Many of us old-timers, often forget things, like where car keys are, or what were we looking for when we left the room to get something.

I look at is as a reminder for me to continue to live life to it's fullest, always remembering the happy times we both had since we were a loving couple in high school. Here's hoping time will soften your heart ache. Do talk to folks as often as you can and keep busy with whatever interests you. Remember, she is smiling down at you and will greet you with open arms again someday.

Roly ~~

[Lindahun]

I am so very sorry for your loss. Please be good to yourself and try to do things you enjoy. Don't know if you like animals, but if you do and adopt an older dog, it will give you so much love. You will also meet other people by getting out and walking the dog, or else taking him to a dog park. I've made so many friends by going to the dog park with my dogs.

Linda

[Senior Ninja]

Belated thanks to you all! I drove a thousand miles last week in three days because I combined the funeral trip to Oakland with side trips to Sacramento for a Death Certificate, and Calavares County for a Marriage certificate. Of course her death certificate wasn't in her married name. I'm only listed in the spouse space. The stone on the front of the crypt also omits my last name too. Every little opportunity they find they let me know I'm not part of the family. I've begun going to a Grief Group run by Hospice and the Methodist Church just down the street. It helps. The other night something on my dresser moved and was loud enough to wake me.
I took it to mean that Patricia was there and I spoke to her. Just writing about all this brings me to tears again. Thanks again my tntt family, I do appreciate your messages and obvious concern.
Steve

[PanelDeland]

I've been theu this and can tell you that it takes time.I'm 17 years in and have finally been able to avoid the driving range(greif councelors way to vent anger,it works well for me).It does not get better it just mellows and you will adjust.You have it rough with 4 kids since you probably have little time alone and you have to be able to help them with their grief also.May God Bless you and yours and help this pain become more bearable.

[Jiminsav]

Belated thanks to you all! I drove a thousand miles last week in three days because I combined the funeral trip to Oakland with side trips to Sacramento for a Death Certificate, and Calavares County for a Marriage certificate. Of course her death certificate wasn't in her married name. I'm only listed in the spouse space. The stone on the front of the crypt also omits my last name too. Every little opportunity they find they let me know I'm not part of the family. I've begun going to a Grief Group run by Hospice and the Methodist Church just down the street. It helps. The other night something on my dresser moved and was loud enough to wake me.
I took it to mean that Patricia was there and I spoke to her. Just writing about all this brings me to tears again. Thanks again my tntt family, I do appreciate your messages and obvious concern.
Steve

i'm not sure what your saying...your telling us your wife died, and her family won't put her married name on the tomb cover?..if this is the case, someone needs a butt kicking.