Forrest,
It is good practice to use a lock or at least a pin through the hole in the coupler.
The hole is there so a lock or pin can be inserted to prevent the lock from springing or popping open.
A couple weeks ago I built/put together a kit trailer for a friend.
I hooked it up to my truck, pulled it a few miles and tested all.
Later he came over and hooked it up to his truck, attached the safety chains and wiring.
Before I allowed him to leave, I did my usual basic check.
Chains attached, wiring connected, lights and signals working, load tied down, and the final check, is the coupler attached to the ball?
It was, or so it appeared. He had the coupler on the ball, with the coupler lock down, and a pin inserted for extra safety.
I grabbed the tongue, and lifted up.
The tongue came right up off the ball, man was he embarrassed...
It would have been much more embarrassing and dangerous if it had happened at speed...
(It is easy, especially if you are distracted by a phone call, "helpers" etc. to miss something...)
I have no idea if that is what happened in your case, but if you get into the habit of lifting up on the tongue before driving away, even if you did get the tongue seated correctly over the ball, if the adjustment is off you will know because you will be able to lift the "locked" tongue off the ball.
If you have a tongue weight that is too great to lift by hand, the tongue jack will do the work for you.
Rob
Waiting for "someday" will leave you on your deathbed wondering why you didn't just rearrange your priorities and enjoy the time you had, instead of waiting for a "better" time to come along...