Dad Jokes

[Tom&Shelly]

We have quite a number of new juniper and pinyon growing around our cabin this year, and I was surprised, but proud, to learn they all recently joined the New Mexico National Guard.

They're a unit of infant tree!

Tom

[rjgimp]

Remains to be seen if glass coffins ever become common.

[Tom&Shelly]

Electric lights were first installed in the US Capitol Building in 1885. Shortly thereafter folks noticed smoke coming from one of the walls, and smelled a distinct burning oder. The fire department was called, but, being somewhat unfamiliar with the best practices of fighting electrical fires, they used an axe to cut a hole in the wall to see what was going on behind it. They couldn't see much with the first hole, so they cut another, then another, until suddenly the influx of fresh air accelerated the small fire, and the entire wall started burning.

Yep, back then the problem was too many axe holes in Congress.

Tom

[bdosborn]

I don't always whoop.

But when I do, there it is.

[Tom&Shelly]

Friends of ours just moved to this street in Albuquerque



They had trouble getting flood insurance.

Tom

[Tom&Shelly]

Just discovered I have rich relatives! They live in our family mansion. The place has 42 bedrooms, but no bathrooms.

The place is un-canny!

Tom

[Tom&Shelly]

One time when I was in Boy Scouts, we went camping at a public park that had a pair of rather aeromatic, shall we say, outhouses.

However, they were right at the edge of the field, in front of a large woodland, so we went behind the outhouses to do our business.

They were very useful commode-ities!

Tom

[Tom&Shelly]

(This is all true) Shelly has been on a low sodium diet lately to treat her vertigo, and the results are encouraging. It does lead to some challenges, especially for the menus for our Summer camping trips. However, she's up to it, using fresh fruits, vegatables and meats where possible, and she has even found all sorts of low sodium canned vegetables, beans, and such.

She's made meals with these low sodium products, and claims they taste just as good. However, I take it with a grain of salt.

Tom

[rjgimp]

To the person who took my place in line,

I'm after you now!

[rjgimp]

My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work.

I asked how she knew the fox was going to work.

She hung up on me.

[DJ Davis]

I've come to the conclusion that I have a combination of dyslexia and CDO. In this instance, I'm not sure if I read "OCD" wrong or put the letters in their proper alphabetical order.

[Tom&Shelly]

My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work.

I asked how she knew the fox was going to work.

She hung up on me.

The fox probably has to work to pay down his credit card debt.

It's not so bad for sharks: Credit card companies usually give them their best rates. Professional courtesy!

Tom

[Tom&Shelly]

Consider that many of the great authors of the past typed or wrote their works in the days before air conditioning. How many of them, I wonder, may have shed a bit--perhaps even an indecent amount--of their attire while working all alone and unobserved in their offices or dens, and how might that state of dress have affected their work?

It bares thinking about!

Tom

[Tom&Shelly]

Of course, most bears walk around in bare feet, but all bears walk around in bear feet.

Tom

[Tom&Shelly]

Some strange animal has been going around eating the rocks hikers pile up to indicate trails!

All we know so far is that it is cairn-ivorous.

Tom