This is just ridiculous enough to be true.
Great New Way to Reduce Your U.S. Tax Bill
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Just Request to be illegal
From an MD. resident to his senator
The Honorable Paul S. Sarbanes
309 Hart Senate Office Building
Washington DC , 20510
Dear Senator Sarbanes,
As a native Marylander and excellent customer of
the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask
for your assistance. I have contacted the Department
of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the
process for becoming an illegal alien and they
referred me to you.
My primary reason for wishing to change my
status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stem from the
bill which was recently passed by the Senate and
for which you voted.
If my understanding of this bill's provisions is
accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in
the United States for five years, all I need to do
to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and
income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a
good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get
the process started before everyone figures it out.
Simply put, those of us who have been here
legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited
about the prospect of avoiding two years of
taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any
way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively?
This would yield an excellent result for me and my
family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.
Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin
using the local emergency room as my primary
health care provider. Once I have stopped paying
premiums for my medical insurance my account figures
I could save almost $10,000 a year. Another benefit in
gaining illegal status would be that my daughter
would receive preferential treatment relative to
her law school applications, as well as "in-state"
tuition rates for many colleges throughout the
United States for my son.
Lastly, I understand that illegal status would
relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver's
license and making those burdensome car
insurance premiums. This is very important to me given
that I still have college age children driving my car.
If you would provide me with an outline of the
process to become illegal (retroactively if
possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I
would be most appreciative. Thank you for your
assistance.
Your Loyal Constituent,
Pete McGlaughlin
Get your Forms (NOW)!! Call your Internal
Revenue Service
1-800-289-1040.