What is a spouse to do

[Forrest747]

Reading a post about how a relationship ended and having experince with my wife and building a trailer I am having an issue.

Wife doesnt have much experience building and to be honest i really dont trust anyone doing the work. the kids help but its mostly getting tools glues screws playing gopher. She is not comfortable using power tools and i really do not want to put her finger in danger. I know i am close to paint and CPES so thinking that would be nice for her help.

So what do your spouses do while you build. I also feel that there are times she is jealous of the project because that is what i want to do with my free time and she hates being in the garage.

[deceiver]

Not meaning to be condescending to anyone here. I have a wood working shop and use it a lot. I find that sanding and scraping takes up a lot of time in any build. And the excuse can be "If you do this sanding which is very time consuming, I can do other things and move the project along faster". Of course, it's not for nothing. These types of things do need to be done and they are time consuming.

[CarlLaFong]

When I'm working in my shop, my wife is up in the house, wondering, "What is that nitwit up to this time?"

[jdarkoregon]

One of the reasons my build took so long is that I didn't want to make my wife feel left out. She really didn't have a clue what a teardrop was all about as far as construction goes, so she decorated, came up with a theme and let me go work when she wanted me out of the house LOL

I let her do what she could and/or wanted to. AND made sure the trailer wasn't taking time away from us. We made it work, good luck to you!

John

[nevadatear]

My job was to hold things. I used a hammer for a while, then my husband took it away from me cause I hit the wood and dimpled it a few times too often. He should of taken the radial arm saw away because I cut 1/3 of my left thumb off at the end of the build. No kidding. Still paying literally and figuratively for that life changing mistake. Actually, she is better off around the powertools than I was. She would probably be more careful as I was comfortable around them and somehow got my finger in the way. Not having a guard on the sucker may have been part of the reason.

But I actually did have a big part of the build. Randy did all the designing, planing, and most of the cutting, but hates detail work. I did all the sanding, finishing, epoxying, painting. And of course the decorating. I also took the pictures and did the build thread here. A lot of the time I did feel kind of useless, but I kept him company in the cold shop. As we moved towards putting on the skins, and especially the roof, he couldn't have done it without me.

Debbie

[mechmagcn]

Well, let's see I think my wife looked in and pointed out a few things while I was building.... other than that, I think I did it all

[parnold]

Forrest:

I think you said something in your post that you, and most of the readers didn't realize was an important sign.

I also feel that there are times she is jealous of the project because that is what i want to do with my free time

May I suggest that the trailer will be much more enjoyable if your relationship is strong. Next time you head out to the garage with your "spare time", turn around and give that time to your wife. It'll get done eventually.

[Corwin C]

+1

I think you've hit this on the head Paul. It's important to have that balance with activities that you do with your loved ones and without them. Not always easy, but important to keep good healthy relationships.

[glenpinpat]

I simply handed the saw to my wife showed her how to use it and said we need this cut and this and this. By the end she was using the jigsaw, tablesaw, and chopsaw. I let her paint because apparently I do not know how to use a paint brush. There is only one way to learn and that is to try. I have always treated my wife as an equal and if I can do it she can too.

[eamarquardt]

The less time Suzy spends in MY garage, the happier we both are. She has all her "girl stuff" in the 4 display cabinets in the house and I have all my "guy stuff" in the garage. Works for us.

Cheers,

Gus

[CarlLaFong]

The less time Suzy spends in MY garage, the happier we both are. She has all her "girl stuff" in the 4 display cabinets in the house and I have all my "guy stuff" in the garage. Works for us.

Cheers,

Gus

Perfect. My wife has her sewing/hobby/computer room and I have my workshop, 1000 sq ft building, free standing. They are our sanctuaries. My shop is disheveled and I like it that way. Her room is a bit neater, but still has a cozy clutter to it. It promotes sanity and marital harmony

[eamarquardt]

I have always treated my wife as an equal and if I can do it she can too.

Suzy is NOT my equal nor am I HER equal. I do all things mechanical, electrical, painting, electronic, and ALL navigating. She does . Actually she can straighten up a room in 1/10 the time I can and it looks nicer, does all the decorating with a little help, she does virtually all the shopping (it seems, girls love to shop) , she works, makes good money, tolerates me, gives me an allowance, and occasionally I get "lucky". She is incapable of playing a DVD in the DVD player, frequently forgets her cell phone and work ID badge, can make a telephone call on her cellphone but has never texted or taken a picture. She'll NEVER admit she was WRONG but has "suggested" that if she had it all over to do over again that she would do a few things "differently" as we raised our boys It's all part of her charm.

In spite of her best effort to spoil them #1 son just graduated Cal Poly, SLO as a ME and had a good job lined up before graduation. They didn't really have an opening but liked him so much (as a result of his extra curricular activities) that they created one for him. #2 son, temporarily, got lost on the way to college. He, then found himself (at his mother's suggestion and my INSISTENCE) on the "yellow footprints" at a world famous "resort" in San Diego right next to the airport. It is operated by a wonderful organization, the USMC. He got released from active duty after two years (including an all expense paid trip to the Middle East). He recently got meritoriously promoted to Corporal in the USMC(R), has completed two years at a CC in SLO, with a solid GPA, and has been accepted to Mines and every University that has responded to his application. He also is gonna be a ME.

Cheers,

Gus

[eaglesdare]

my hubby and i are so far opposite each other it really is not funny at all. we have found what works for us. he has his space and i try to have my space. he really loves to stay home and fuss with building/working on stuff that he builds. i love to travel. i can't be bothered with the typical "housewife" stuff. i do the cooking and baking. and i do try to keep a comfortable home. but i am so not a 'better homes and gardens' type gal. i let him do his thing, and he lets me do mine.
when we had the build weekend last year for my first foamie, the guys would ask hubby about something, he just told them it was my project ask her. he took care of feeding everyone and being our gopher for that weekend. he really stayed away from the building off the teardrop.

i noticed reading all the responses, everyone seems to be slightly different in the approach to "what works". you need to find that part out for the two of you. but do consider her feelings. remember when momma aint happy no one is! and then you can forget getting lucky

[2old2tent]

My wife, Linda, owns more power tools than I do. She grew up doing woodworking projects with her dad. I grew up doing automotive projects with my dad. When we start a project it is usually about 50/50. She isn't afraid to tackle anything but normally will ask me for design support. When it comes to finishes I turn to her. Since I am an amputee she is literally my right hand WO-man. Together we have rebuilt cars, built our own home, custom painted cars, trucks and 35' 5th wheel campers along with building our own TTT. And forget sparks sending her running. Her and my daughter both know basic welding and Linda helped teach the high school Ag class on using the plasma cutter. She has her own protective gear for that too.

Normally I would let this type of thread pass but today I think I will brag a little as this is our 35 Anniversary and we still spend the majority of our time together. So give the ladies a chance guys they have a lot to offer.

Jack

[parnold]

this is our 35 Anniversary and we still spend the majority of our time together.

Congratulations!