Steve Smoot wrote:
Well, short story, I broke Debbie's heart and I have felt bad about this for 32 years. She was the one I should have married. We loved the same things. She was my soul mate, but I had my head up my ass. Now, I'm being paid back.
It sounds like your brain is still not sitting on your shoulders.

Do what you must to shake that brain up and get it back where it should be.
If you don't grow together when you have the chance, you grow apart. 99 out of 100 times, it is spilled milk, water over the dam, smashed Humpty Dumpty eggs. So, go see the missed love and see if it is the 1 in 100. After a visit or two, you'll probably find out that the memories are sweeter than reality. Then, forgive yourself and get on with your life. There isn't a person alive who is perfect or hasn't made mistakes. You stumble, take a wrong turn or whatever. Somehow, most people manage to dust themselves off and find their way. You can too.
...Just clean up your act before you meet woman #3.
Regards from Mama Bear.